KARYN PARSONS:IT’S HARD BEING BIRACIAL IN AMERICA/RAISING BIRACIAL KIDS
Karyn Parsons,who played Hillary Banks on syndicated television show the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, says that it is hard being biracial in America. In addition,the actress turned producer/writer says that it is harder raising bi-racial kids.Karyn says that her daughter Lana,4, came out looking like the ”whitest white child with blonde hair and blue eyes” and her son Nico,11 months, came out looking “browner than [she is]“. Read Karyn’s interview with Essence.com below:
Essence.com: Your mother is Black and your father White. What’s been your biggest challenge being biracial in America?
K.P.: Well, it’s hard. When I saw Barack’s speech on race, I cried and I felt like, there’s the speech I’ve been wanting to write. I’ve been thinking about writing about race for a long time. It’s very interesting how we feel about each other in terms of race. When I’m around Black or White people, I’m always in the middle. Especially when I am around Black people; they will really tell how they feel about White people regardless of the fact that I’m also White and have White relatives. It’s very interesting and can be really hard.
Essence.com: It’s definitely an issue our society still faces.
K.P.: Exactly. And I’m married to a White man, and then my daughter came out looking like the whitest White child with blonde hair and blue eyes. And I’m like, Omigosh, now what am I going to do? She has my mom’s features and is lighter than my husband. And my boy is browner than I am. Brown eyes and really tan. The race thing is something we continue to deal with and just have to learn to love ourselves and others.
In 2005,Karyn and her husband wanted to “instill a sense of culture and heritage to their daughter” and so they started an award-winning collection of African-American children’s DVD’s.
Essence.com: Congrats to you on the success of your award-winning collection of African-American children’s DVDs, which aired on HBO. How did you get into writing for children?
Karyn Parsons: While I was on Fresh Prince, my mother, who was head of book resources at a college library, told me the incredible story of Henry ‘Box’ Brown, a slave who mailed himself in a small box from Virginia to Pennsylvania to find freedom. Talk about determination! That was such an obvious story to tell kids and it stayed with me. A few years later, I talked to my husband about it. He was really fascinated with it as well and pushed me to just do it, and bring the story to life.
Essence.com: Well, we are glad you did. That is an eye-opening story that people need to know.
K.P.: And they really have been receptive. I started my company Sweet Blackberry in 2004 and The Journey of Henry ‘Box’ Brown was our first DVD. It was an easy way to introduce slavery to young kids. It can be difficult for parents and teachers to explain that part of our history. It was an interesting experience and kept me thinking, Is that too much? Does the whip crack in this scene? We all love to hear a good story, and Alfre Woodard was amazing as the narrator. It aired on HBO in February for Black History Month. Our second story was Garret’s Gift, about a teenage Garret A. Morgan, who invented the traffic light, and Queen Latifah narrated for us, which was great.
You just can’t let go can you. Let me help you out, old lady. I have a dinner date with friends,so you can busy yourself by arguing by yourself. Maybe if you and hubby hadn’t spent your entire tax refund on your outstanding cable bills you could go out to dinner too. Instead you sit before your computer waiting for life to happen. How sad
Adios!
If you say so Whoop.
Whoopie you there?
Whoopie!?!?!
Not Buying It,
You have serious issues. You seem really preoccupied with race and especially this biracial thing.
The fact is that Karyn Pearsons has a problem being biracial because she wants to be a part of a racial group that doesn’t accept her because she is black.
Again, one can have a white mother or father and still be black without offending them.
Halle Berry has no problems, nor does Alicia Keys, Boris Kudjoe, Nicole Ari Parker, Thandie newton,Cash Warren, etc.. etc..
You have a problem only if you make it one. Ms. Pearsons and her kids will fit into the the black sommunity. Quite frankly her daughter looks like a regular black child with an albino coloring. And her son looks like a light skin child. Once she teaches those kids who they are, whenever they get rejections from their white side, they would not hate their black side for it, but rather brush it off and move on.
You racist thing. The kids are blonde and blue eyed. They cant be black. What tribe in West Africa looks like them. Come on. They will never fit into the black community because they are not black. Neither is mom. Get over it. You people are desperate to swallow alive anyone who has any black in them. Get a life.
it depends where you come from. I’m black and my best friend is white, we have no issues, our family have no issues.
Cranberry, silence! Your comments are stale and redundent and really have no basis in the truth. I won’t dissect them because I’ve already done that after your first couple of posts, where you said the same thing. Create new arguments and perhaps you’d get as much attention as Whoopi received.
And I’m really mad you said “to be black is to carry a lot of luggage.” lol I think you meant baggage sweetie.
Still haven’t found a real job Not Buying It. How sad. I’m on my way to Cabo with family and friends. Have fun lurking the internet.
There you go Whoopie. I knew you’d return sooner or later. I hope you didn’t just get your “hair did.” ‘Cause you know a sistah don’t play.
As for Mexico…been there and done that. The time to go is when it’s actually cold in the states, not in the dead of summer when the prices are much cheaper. I knew you were a broke jawn.
Why the criticism on Whoopi Goldberg? This condensending attitude alone is a prime example of the self-hatred that has permeated through the black community with the light vs dark slave mentality, and yes, also those of mixed race are effected as evidence by the post. Referencing the poster as Whoopi Goldberg is an obvious effort to insinuate that person is of darker skin with african features, and in your mind less desirable, suffice to say it also exposes your own inner battle with the African-ness that may or may not run through your veins. Before you can be critical of black women and accuse them of lacking self love, hopefully you will look into the mirror and learn to revere all of who you are and EVERY contribution required in order for you to be! YES that includes the black part…
Hey, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! Why must you and Whoopie be so negative?!?!
Lynn: you might want to edit before you post next time so your sentences are coherent. Just a suggestion.
Not buying into it, I my time was limited at the time I posted, however, I’m certain that you understood the message, otherwise you wouldn’t have foolished reduced yourself to only attack the sentence structure. LOL, you don’t have to read it…Yawn
lol, excuse the typos again, however, I know you got the message, learn from it!
Whiteness is simply a mutation that derived from blackness. Without one, there couldn’t be the other.
wow her daughter does look albino.
Karyn Parson’s daughter is fair, but she has noticeable african traits. I think Miss Parson has a lovely looking family, and I hope she raises her children to appreciate every aspect of their being!
Notice that Not buying it has not re-appeared since she was told off. good riddance to bad rubbish!
TO black is black..stupid.:
Hispanic itself is not a race. You can be a white hispanic, black hispanic or indian hispanic, whatever. Hispanic is merely a culture. THe fact that yur father is hispanic does not tell me anything.
Saying you are biracial because your father is hispanic is contradictory as hispanic is not a race. You have to be specific. Is your father black, white, indian, etc. Hispanic is not his race just his culture….
If you said your mother is African American and your father is a White Hispanic, then that makes more sense. Just saying he is hisapanic means nothing. ANyone of any race can be hispanic
Her daughter has strong African features, she looks albino rather than mixed, i agree.
I also agree that her daughter doesn’t look white or biracial she looks more albino with very strong black features!!!
And sorry I will always see biracial black/white people as black but don’t get it wrong they should never denounce their white side however they are black with white family members thats all, I mean look @ Obama he has a white mother and was raised by her and his white grandparents yet he is still smart enough to know he is BLACK in fact he stated he was too black lol but seriously all african american ppl are mixed and that is why biracial ppl blend right in with us they look just like us they don’t look white therefore they are and always will be BLACK!!!
It’s reassuring to find another sane and intelligent mind on this thread. Thanks Shana:)
Hi all. I consider myself to have two “Black” parents, even though they both have white ancestory (they “look black” though). My question to the mixed race folks on the blog is: when do u believe people just become “black” or “white” again? I mean most African Americans,including myself,could claim “mixed”, but it seems most mixed people don’t c it that way. I’d love to hear a genuine answer to this question (not sarcastic), because my bf is mixed (very white looking from white grandparents on each side) n he claims African American. He does respect his Portuguese heritage, but realizes he is AA to the world n has no problem with it. I have no idea what our kids will look like, but I plan on raising them as black/AA, but informing them of their diverse history.
To me, black is black.(Especially in the US). What is the point of a separate category for mixed race? What category will u put ur kids in? What about the grandkids n so on? Is it not just easier to pick one or the other?
PS. Karyn’s kids are adorable, but it is funny how many mixed race folks “play black” on tv, but get upset when called black or are assumed to be black in real life! Hello!
Smh @ a lot of the comments here…
i’m mixed race and black jamaican/german, but identify more with black people than white people and don’t care if people call me/see me as black, latino or mixed race. I think people should be able to identify how they want. why you may i ask do i identify more as black, because i feel that a white person can never relate to what its like to be a person of colour, but another black person can. I grew up from a young age feeling loyal towards black people despite growing up mainly around white people.
As for karyn parsons she should stop feeling sorry for herself, i’m tired of mixed race people complaining as if they experience more racism because they get it from both sides of their genes. any ethnic minority can experience racism. I have personally experienced abit of racism, but never from black people. Generally i don’t feel victamised because i am mixed race.
I think that once genes start getting to 1/4 black or less people need to stop using the one drop rule. newsflash it does not exist.not many black people try to claim heather locklear or wentorth miller as black, but they are part black. i see Karyn Parson’s children as mixed race, but would not think it absurd if her son wants to identify as black and the daughter as white just let them be.
Guyz lets top hating………..Thanks Cranberry, 20something, Black is Black, and certain others……….U’ve got it totally true!!.
But we need to stop this 4r real………no fighting within our Black family!
What I notice about people is how they treat others & myself. If you are a good person, citizen, etc., then it shouldn’t matter what color your skin is. How people are treated by one another is what should count.
(I know this is very simplistic but this world would be such a better place to live in if it were that way.)
I need help!! I am white and I have a biracial daughter. I have raised my daughter to be an individual and to be proud of who she is for those reasons. I have a diverse group of friends. However, my family and my husband are white. She has no contact with her biological father. We are in a military community which encourages diversity and mixed families.
My problem is lately, despite my best efforts of cultural exposure, she has chosen to identify as just white. I am finding that she speaks of black issues or kids as something seperate from herself. Even worse, I am finding that she completely ignores elderly black women when they come up to her and tell her how beautiful she is.
This growing rejection of her culture upsets and confuses me. Could her actions be defiance to the cultural education I try to provide her with? Does she feel because she is biracial that she does not fit in our family so she has to choose to be white? Is she tired of people constantly pointing out “She is beautiful, WHAT IS SHE?” question? She is beautiful not only because of her appearence but because of her heart. I want my child to be confident, secure and happy. How do I help her become that type of woman?
Concerned Mom I think your child rejection of her black half has everything to do with the fact that her black dad abandoned her. She is I am certain very insecure and uncertain of where she fits into her life, because if her own black dad wants nothing to do with her something must be wrong with her.
You have to let her know that her dad left because he was selfish and it is his loss that he is missing out on watching his beautiful grow into a beautiful young woman. Does she see his family? How old is she? She is embracing her white family because they have embraced her, she is rejecting her black family because she feels rejected by them.
I say talk to her dad’s family and let them know your concerns, from their reaction you would know if getting her more involved with them would be better or worse for her. Once you do this then you will have a better idea of what your next step should be. What is her dad’s history? Was he abandoned by his dad? Maybe it’s a pattern. Whatever you know about why he is not more involved with her the more you can make her understand him leaving is not about her, but him.
Unfortunately, I have lost contact with his family. When my daughter was four he threatened to take her. Since then, legally there can be no contact anyways. He has no legal rights whatsoever. She is six now. It’s a tough situation.
I am so sorry, I guess with the situation that you stated above they only thing can really do is tell her it’s not that her dad doesn’t want to be with her, he just wasn’t in a good place to be able to take care of her so he signed his rights over because he thought (whatever your husband’s name is) would be able to take better care of you and her. He wanted to do the best thing for her because he loved her.
Don’t say anything negative about her dad to or around her. If you want her to see her black side in a positive light that’s the only way you will be able to get your child to be able to accept all of her. She is still young so don’t make a big issue out of her color. Just make sure that she is around people that accept with open arms. She will be okay. You care enough to seek help for your baby and that alone tells me she is loved. Is she you only child?
Yea she is! I am pregnant though and she is already proving to be an amazing big sister. Thanks for your advice. I really needed to get a different perspective.
I am terribly confused by this article. She says her son is ‘browner’ than she is, yet that is not true. Her daughter ‘looks’ like an African American albino actually. I agree with many of the statements made on here. If Karyn would stop trying to force acceptance, and simply accept herself and her children for their black heritage as well, then things may be better for her. She seems overly concerned with her white heritage. If she truly identifies as mixed, then she has to embrace both sides equally, though I understand that may be challenging at times. She seems to have some identity issues that are self imposed.
I’ll have to totally co-sign with oceanwave. 1. The girl looks albino. 2. Karen didn’t have any trouble identifying with Black folks when she the played the daughter of an Black mother & father on an all Black sitcom. She would have never made the cast of the daughter/sister on shows like Family Ties, Growing Pains,Home Improvement etc. Why? Because when I as well as everybody else in America see as Black. She had to tell me in this article because she looks like just another Black chick to me.I sure it’s not easy for a biracal person to have to choose sides when they love both parents , but she seems to want Black people to identify her with her white side. Um, okay but that won’t be real easy being that she looks so much like us. She needs to ge over herself. That’s why she hasn’t had a role since Fresh Prince. She’s annoying
Ms. Parson’s daughter is NOT AN ALBINO, PEOPLE! She is simply a mixed-race child who has a very fair compexion and BLUE eyes. If she were an albino, her eyes would NOT be blue…they would be WITHOUT pigmentation, as would her skin, as would her hair. She is NOT albino, just a mixed race little beauty whose caucasian coloring predominates over her negroid coloring. Her younger brother is the exact opposite: a handsome little mixed race fellow whose negroid coloring predominates over his caucasian coloring. See the very WIDE range there is, even within this little family alone? Genetics are simply fascinating, especially when you introduce a set of genes somewhere along the blood line(s) that are so very different from your own! Our God is an awesome God…just look at the wide range of beauty he can create using one man and one woman alone!
if its hard being biracial then why have kids by a white man. I understand your biracial but at first glance your are viewed as a black woman. do you relate more to the white side, so how do you teach your daughter to be aproud black woman, i guess not since you said shes the whitest white child. I dont care if people date outside their race but dont get upset if people dont accept it. im a proud black woman and i love black men. to me it really is mind boggling. Watch LAKEVIEW TERRACE.
well, I’m not black that I know of, but I am biracial (half caucasian and half native american…from el salvador). I work around alot of black people and have many black friends, but sometimes I hear some of them say things about white people (white devils?) and it does kinda hurt even if I don’t look white, becuase I know my white father is a open-minded & good person. & not to metion just about everyone of every ethinicty hates salvadorians, including salvadorains themselves, so I can understand some of that pain, it can be hard to ignor (especialy with people like “not buying it” around). I was never really accepted by any race except asians (I know how weird that sounds, lol, but I look asian so I’m told, light “yellowish” skin, dark eyes & dark streight hair), and now I’m married and pregnant to an japanese/korean husband. I really hope my children wont face life like I did, becuase whites should be proud, blacks should be proud, native americans should be proud, asians should be proud everyone of all race(s) should be proud of theirselves (especialy mix raced people), regardless of what happened in the past (not a large percent of whites even owned slaves, plus most african slaves were bought from african slave owners by whites) or what some people of a certain race do or act like (I know alot of whites where I’m living judge black people from the ones who give a bad image, completly bypassing well-mannered and well-educated blacks). you cannot help what your ethinicity or skin/hair came out like, unfortunantly I still struggle with identity issues from my childhood and sometimes wish I was full blooded anything, just so I can have common ground with other people.
Well, all I have to say is that everyone has their own experiences, trials & tribulations. I can’t judge her or her personal views because I have not lived her life. I think everyone should be sensitive to her struggles because even though we may not carry her burden, we should empathize. The thing is, in America, we have become so numb to the discrimination and hardships. Don’t just dismiss her struggles, they are real and she is not the only one who is subjected to unfair treatment. It’s a shame that we treat people in such a way that they feel uncomfortable in their own skin. I’m biracial and growing up in an African-American community was quite difficult. Some people like myself were treated as though we don’t belong. I was constantly reminded of my differences in school…from my peers to adults to even some of my own family members. So I can relate and understand. I just pray that with the coming years, people are more comfortable with what makes us alike than what is different and see different as beautiful too!
where do you ppl see noticeably black features? i dont see any seriously the nose isn’t black the lips arent black…the hair isnt black what’s black???
and she said biracial doesnt mean that she had babies with a black man LOL
I am a mixed male 18, I am Irish, filipino and black. I have white features in with my eyes and nose, and i have full lips (I guess a black feature). I don’t have the typical mixed tight curls but they are big. Not too many people know what it is like to be multi-racial. Both sides of my family didn’t really accept me. I was shunned on my white side because I wasn’t white enough, and talked about on my black side because of my hair and my skin color. My sisters suffered more than I did when it came to family. I went to a predominately black school and was tormented daily because I was different. It doesn’t matter if your black or white, if you are a black women who loves white men then so be it, they will raise biracial children and hopefully they will teach them the beauty of themselves just like my white mother did. I love how SOME black people say we are the real victims of race, that is not TRUE! I experienced 80% of my racism from people who were supposedly victims of racism. Doesn’t that sound a little insane??? They would try to start fights with me and talk about my hair and some jealous girls would have the nerve to pull on it. Not too many people know how difficult it is when you are multi/biracial. I live my life in as one, and I don’t let it get to me but sometimes its like damn, race truly matters that much??? I am judge on both sides of my heritage. I don’t feel trully accepted unless I am among other mixed people.
I cannot agree with all you are saying. I am a black women, and I both parents are black also. Of ourse there is a little mixing going through my family line. My father’s mom was American Indian, from the North Carolinas, here is where she met my African American grandfather. My mothers father and mother both were black, but my grandfather was a stern dark skinned 6feet plus male, and my grandmother was very lite skinned with red hair, green eyes, and freckles. The combination in our family made lite skinned, long straight hair, shor curly hair, thick long and short hair. Some eyes are green, some are light brown and hazel and one of my brothers eyes are blue. I myself, am a light brown even though most of my friends say you are light skinned girl, my eyes are a light brown, and my hair although now relaxed was a cross between thick and long at one time with some fine areas. My mom is light brown and has brown eyes, my father also a litle darker brown with very pretty light brown eyes. I would guess I would have to identify with my fathers American Indian side more than my mothers side of light skinned, red hair and green eyes. I would say this because seeing pictures only of my fathers mother she was short just like myself, and she had dark full hair, and brown eyes. The only dfference the complexion. I was just giving a little background, and trying to make a point als. Even though om not sure what race mixed with my mothers family, I’m sure it is some kind of white background. So people although they do not aknowlegde it or look like it may clearlyu be mixed in some kind of way. I have many different races in my family genes, but I might like look like i do, and neither did some of my friends. My sister also look like me and appeared to be black, but because she had longer hair she got her hair pulled. Her friend a white girl got her hair pulled everyday too, and they became best friends until this day. So just makin a point just because you got your hair pulled isn’t because your hair was very nice. Some kids are just mean. And people of all races and colors get their hair pulled. Good luck on your road to discovering life, and dont be so quick to judge another race, as we are all somehow one race.
You’re Ignorant. That what hurts when it comes to being bi-racial. People are not sensitive to the fact “NO WE ARE NOT BLACK”, “NO WE ARE NOT WHITE” we are biracial and would like for both sides of ourself to be recognised. It makes us uncomfortable for you to call us anything we are not. Would you call grey black? Would you call grey white? No you call it grey. We don’t call it a donkey or a horse its called a MULE. Its recognized for being both. Either abolish all shallow ideas of race or just accept us as whole individuals. Stop calling us one or the other because we are not. We are both and our beauty and being only represent the love and comming together of cultures, respect that we are people too and it is not fair or reasonable of you to ask us to shut off a part of ourselfs because you don’t know how to deal or understand the fact that we are one. We will not adapt one part of ourself you your convienence we will continue to be beautifully BIRACIAL and as a creature of reason you should be able to understand or grasp the subject in a minor way. Love n Affection to all
well,I think both races can be mean and being black my kids tell me many stories about what white kids say to them the looks and bad words.I know the lord and have peace and I leave it up to him to work out people issues and nasty comments and about how it is raising mixed kids we,re all mixed just read your bible and you,ll feel better about things.We are all from the other side of the world so if you want to marry someone that you,ve fallen in love with and your spouse isn,t your race just know that their are people that won,t like it.Hey they won,t like if you marry within your race,so live to please the Lord and love everyone.I know my kids will marry the person of their dreams because thats what I pray for and he answers prayers.The Lord will choose them and my grandchildren are all mixed up, but not confused, when they ask me with what? I can,t say we,re just blacks, they stopped going for that, so I needed help. I started reading and found out we,re all mixed and thats how the Lord wanted it and labeling youselves as one race or another is up to you,it does,t matter my son checks whatever and he,s very well ajusted. I thank the master.He knows the answers for everything and thats a good thing.God does,t make mistakes.I use him always for everything, don,t blame me,blame God and see what happens.We must love no matter what.
well,just pray and worship the Lord and it won,t be hard,raise christians and you,ll see the light.
I love Karyn Parsons! Alot of people tell me I resemble her…..Her kids are beatiful.I’m happy to see her with a healthy family. I can however relate on what she is saying. I’ve always have had those same fears. Its sad we have to worry about things like this, but its real, its reality.
I’ve also been writing on racism for the longest time. I’d love to have a book published! Karyn, you are doing the right thing as a parent. I admire you for that, you go girl!
We do have it harder, for we don’t know where we fall. We don’t know what “group” we belong, so we are forced to accept ourselves for who we are ( which we all should do) We have it harder. I agree completely with her
Well I personally think that I can’t really idenitfy with either race black or white . Most people question what i am because i have big blue eyes with black hair and light carmel skin. Whenever i come in contact with white people im the exotic looking mixed girl with blue eyes and considered white because i don’t look black. With black people im the mixed girl not black girl with pretty eyes.
I always tell people im mixed white and black but some don’t believe me mostly 70% of the black people i come in contact with. I think it’s crazy and then people look at my brother and call him truly black because he is tanner than me even though his eyes are grey. So what if i want to be mixed do i really have to pick i have the best of both genes.