Sandra “Pepa” Denton of rap trio Salt-n-Pepa may have a popular reality show(the Salt-N-Pepa show), and a new book coming out soon,but life hasn’t been so rosy for the mom of two.In the her book “Let’s Talk about Pep”,Sandra details her turbulent marriage to Anthony “Treach” Criss,from rap group Naughty by Nature. In an interview with Essence.com,Pepa talks about her abuse,her road to recovery and how her children Egypt and Tyran helped her to the road of recovery:

ESSENCE.COM: You detail your stormy marriage to Anthony ‘Treach’ Criss, from Naughty by Nature, and the years of abuse he put you through. Have you ever had an opportunity to talk to him, post-divorce, about how it affected you?

PEPA: No, and honestly, he’s the one person I’m nervous about reading this, but I had to do it. How do I not tell that part of my life story? This book is not so much about my abuse, but my road to recovery.

ESSENCE.COM: That’s truly a blessing. In your book you say that your decision to change your patterns with abusive relationships had to do with your son, Tyran, and Egypt, your daughter with Treach. Did they ever witness the physical abuse and question you about it?

PEPA: No, never physical, but they were often present during yelling and screaming matches. People forget that verbal abuse is equally unhealthy. My kids used to see me crying and depressed all the time, and that can affect kids as well. Now, if I get a little down or sad and my daughter notices and asks whether I’m okay, I say, “Yes, I’m fine. Mommy’s just trying to figure something out.” She doesn’t like it when I act antsy or confused, so I have to say to myself, Okay, let me relax. And my son is at the age where I can talk with him now.

ESSENCE.COM: So has your son read the book, and have you finally spoken to him about it?

PEPA:I try to say a little bit to him. All he asks is, “Am I going to be embarrassed?” That’s his thing, and I just had to say, “Well, there are some things that happened to me when I was young.” And his response was, “Aww man, that’s going to hurt me.” And I simply told him we’ll talk about it another day.

ESSENCE.COM: What is the lesson you’ve taught your son about how to treat women?

PEPA: I constantly talk to him about how to treat a woman. He tells me everything. That’s the one thing I make sure I do-communicate with my kids. When I was growing up, my parents didn’t have that open talk with me, and I promised myself that if I ever had kids, I would be open with them. And my son is a really decent guy. He’s 18 and he’s not a womanizer. When it comes to my daughter, I tell her, if anyone touches you, let me know. Because of the molestation I experienced as a child, I feel nervous for her, so I make sure to ask her those questions. I just think that’s important; it affects me still.

ESSENCE.COM: I can only imagine. Do you think you’re overprotective of your daughter?

PEPA: No more than any other parent. But again, what happened to me still affects me. I always have to tell her that she has to tell me if anyone bothers her, and that I won’t be mad at her because I love her, because silence kills and people who abuse depend on their victim’s silence as a tool to continue to victimize others.