Dear Mama: I am stressed to the Max
Dear Mama,
I am stressed out to the max. I am a married woman with two children, but it feels like i have three children. My husband isn’t at all helpful with the kids and i am at my wit’s end trying to raise these kids on my own. I am a stay home mom and my husband works, but most of the time i wish i were in his shoes. He doesn’t seem to understand that i work while am at home. My children are ages 1 and 3. Yes, they are a handful and sometimes i feel like locking myself in my room and never coming out. I do love my children, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that i am so stressed and in addition, i don’t feel appreciated.
What should i do?
Sincerely,
Stressed to the Tress
Dear Stressed To the Tress, take a deep breath. I understand your pain and so many women can identify with all that you are going through. As a mother, you probably feel the need to want to take care of everyone, but what you need to know is that you can’t possibly take care of anyone unless you take care of yourself first. Your husband is a grown man and needs to share in the responsibilities of raising your children. However, he may not acknowledge how much work you’re doing because you don’t allow him to. Do me a favor? Help your husband to walk a day in your shoes. On a day that he is not working, just leave him and the children alone. Do not make it is easy for him. Don’t cook, clean, or do anything; let your husband spend a few hours in your shoes. If he doesn’t appreciate you after that experience, then please seek counseling thereafter.
Sincerely,
Mama
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2 Comments to “Dear Mama: I am stressed to the Max”
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Stressed! You got to be kidding me. I am 31 year old mother of 5. I have a 2 year old daughter, 3 year old twins (boy & girl), a 4 year old son and a 5 year old son, and I’m a stay at home mom. Just think, my 4 youngest were all in diapers at the same time. Why are you stressed. I’ve been married for 8 years and worked for the first two (prior to my first child). He was a premie, so my husband and I thought it best that I stay home with him. My husband works all day to support our family. I am blessed that I have the privilege of working at home (raising the kids and taking care of our home) instead of having to leave my kids with another caregiver.
When my husband gets home each evening, the house is clean, dinner is ready (and most of the dishes are done). The 7 of us eat dinner together practically every night; we sit as a family and eat together because that is the way he and I were raised by our parents. The only thing I want him to do after dinner is kick his shoes off and chill out. He watches tv and tends to the kids while I wash the remaining dinner dishes (thank goodness for paper plates). We’ve always shared the responsibilty of bathing the kids and putting them to bed as we didnt want them in whiney habit of expecting a certain parent to do it. And at eight o’clock, when we say it’s bed time… it’s bed time. If the kids want to lay in their beds and whine and cry til you fall asleep, that’s fine with us cause after eight is grown up time. It’s such a habit now, they usually go to bed without a problem.
On the weekends, my husband is all about the kids. Have you ever seen a grown man play ‘red light, green light’, duck duck goose, tag, or simon says? He is 6’1″ and he is just the cutest thing with the kids… even the neighborhood kids like to join in. When it was just 4 of us, we used to go fishing together, but now he only takes the older boys fishing and me and the little one stay home. They fish locally, so I pack them a lunch. Me and the little ones (and the dog) will often drive or walk down with little treats for them.
Not all my days are as fairy-tale-like, and as peachy as I’ve portrayed. At least one day a week my kids drive me insane, and I swear they (and my husband) and conspiring/plotting to make me run away to the crazy farm…hehe. Some days I even question why my husband and I didnt start using birth control SOONER! But then I have those days that I just stand back and look, sigh and say… “Thank you God for my family, my husband and my wonderful life”. Especially when I hear stories of the husband/father living under that same roof, but doesn’t want to lift a finger to help himself or his wife. I have a wonderful husband that gets on my last nerve some times, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I love my life!
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Dear Mama,
I’ve been working with quite a few tweens and teenage boys and girls who are identifying as homosexual. These young men and women are very open in expressing their preferences through their dress and mannerisms.
Parents ask me questions about how to approach their child with this issue and how to keep them safe in a world that still discriminates against these kids.
Do you have any suggestions as to how to advise concerned parents?
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