Comments on: The “stay-at-home mom” double standard

By: Sue

Sue — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:17:04 +0000

Mocha Moms is an long established support group for mothers of color who choose to stay at home. Visit their website and join your local chapter. Staying at home with your children is a blessing, congregate with other mothers who feel the same way!

By: Monica

Monica — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:32:35 +0000

Welfare be the answer…I don’t know who my babies daddies are or do I care…..Welfare be taken the slack off me.

By: Simka

Simka — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:44:58 +0000

Michelle, you sound straight ignant…yes I spelled it ignant.

By: Khrish

Khrish — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 01:21:21 +0000

You are so right. But staying at home is a personal decision. I enjoyed being there with my children and having the opportunity to instill my values for my children. We did our times in the park, shopping, playing visits and my work in my home. I loved it. But there are some who would rather be away from the home and some who don’t get the choice. It, for me, was a rewarding experience. My mom stayed home with me until I was school age but I still missed having to come home to an empty house and put all my good news and good report cards on hold until she arrived. But I knew she had to work and would have stayed at home if she could. I had the choice and I loved staying at home. Even when the children were in school, I enjoyed the activities at the schools and just being there for them. It is a time in my life that I shall never regret.

By: ce-0417

ce-0417 — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 23:16:55 +0000

I was a stay at home mother of two boys. I went back to work when they started school and when they had enough knowledge to tell me when they were being mistreated. I enjoy staying at home with them.I work weekends and still spent quality time with them. I went on field trips, parent helper in the class room. You do what evers works for you. My boys respect that I work and still take care of home. I did not raise them on public assistant and they are not killers. Both are honor roll students

By: Chariot of wisdom

Chariot of wisdom — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:24:23 +0000

Michelle, I don’t know how race played a part in your persuasiveness against stay at home moms. I going to rally the earlier comments. I don’t believe a budding young lady is going to take a housewife as a profession, because her mother did. It’s farse and well-to-do middle class families have been doing it for years. Trust me parental professions do not affect a negative response for a child’s laziness factor. If a woman was to stay home with a child, introduce the letters, shapes, colors, animals etc.; this incorporates independent motivation and apprehendable qualities for education. It became something approachable and there’s a fondness for it because it was something instilled with family or parents. Kid’s will not have that contempt they do now for learning and school settings, because when they were in daycare and school; it was something most kids felt forced to do 80% of the time. If your kid is happy about school for learning sake then that mean you as a parent defied stigma already granted to school by kids. I guarantee your child won’t have a negative affiliation with learning and listening and sitting still. My child is 18 months and I’ve been playfully showing him his numbers and letters since he was 3 months old. He glows when he sees them and every time I’m on the computer he wants to play the letter games I play with him on fisher-price.com. He loves flipping through a book he’s done since I’ve been showing him letters. I’m not saying he can read, but he picks a book on will and just flips through, watching it intently. It’s the funniest thing, he did it as young a 3 months old before he even rolled over. If that’s not a good start, than I don’t know what is. I’m not saying others caring and teaching for your child is not as sufficient, because even as a working parent you can bring that stuff home on your day offs and go to places that are brain tickling venues. I am all for teaching at home and also found home taught children almost always quest for knowledge than children that are sent to school to be contained(that’s what they believe, and true in some cases). I highly doubt a daughter of this kind of parent would want the same thing because of the desire for laziness. I also know that with a back round of knowledge grasping; their professions and opportunities would be surmountable. It’s just more qualifying when you have more productive time to spend with them.

By: Leo

Leo — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:24:38 +0000

I once knew a stay-at-home mother, and anyone who thinks that these women either don’t do anything while at home, or are some robots who go from House Maid to Sex Kitten at the snap of a finger don’t know JACK. Being a stay-at-home mother is WORK. Interacting and teaching your children while taking care of the house is WORK. Maybe the sitcoms of the ’50s and ’60s showing suburban housewives as prim domestic goddesses have poisoned your mind, but I have seen the real deal and that woman worked very hard! She wasn’t some pampered upper-crust wife with an army of servants…and where is the study showing that ALL criminals come from housewife backgrounds? Plus, any child who kills their parents for enforcing house rules has a screwed up mentality - which has precious little to do with whether Mommy stayed home or worked. Check your logic and try again.

Nikia, ignore the ignorant ‘experts’ and do what you feel is right by your children. Being a stay-at-home mom is just as challenging as a 9-5 job.

By: Joy

Joy — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:03:33 +0000

To Whom Much is Given, Much is Required!!!!!!I am a Stay-at-home mom/housewife. My son is the blessing that my husband prayed for. I am used to having cash at my disposal, running off for the weekend at a moments notice, going on shopping sprees, etc. If I had to do all again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love that loud, some times smelly, demanding, affectionate little bundle of JOY and I wouldn’t trade his dirty diapers and homemade baby food for anything in this world. i am a professional bottle washer because I’m blessed. Staying homing with my son is not a sacrifice for my family, it is a blessing. It required a paradigm shift on everyone’s part, but he is worth it!!!!!!

By: Nisaa

Nisaa — Sun, 03 May 2009 01:32:31 +0000

I can not believe that crap I read here. Being a stay at home mother DOES NOT mean your kids will be killers or any oher crazy verb. It is a wonderful thing to be able to stay at home and raise your children. It is NOT a white thing either. My mother, grandparents and all my aunts stayed home. However, they all got college degrees, not my grand mom, so if something happened they had something to fall back on.
I am a mother of 4 and I had to work. My husband died and i had no choice. I was a stay a home mom unil her died and TRUST ME I WORKED HARD!! I would have loved to continue to stay home and do the things my mother and grandmother did with me. I never went home to an empty house, I had healthy meals, no junk food, I had attention, there was always someone making sure I didnt get into any trouble. I was in all kinds of activities and clubs after school. My mother was able to take me to them becuase she didnt work.
I loved my childhood. No, we were not rich and I am sure if my mother had worked it would have been easier on my father. BUT he never complained; infact this was a choice they made because they knew how important it was for the children.
Staying home and being a homemaker is not for a lazy woman, unless you want to do it wrong. My mother was busy all day. She not only cook, cleaned, and took care of us, played with us, entertained us; she helped in the community. she made time to help other. She taught us to give back and be productive people. This is somehing I taught to my kids. They feed the homeless, have gone to Nepal to help build schools, they have joined in with community clean up and many other things.
Like I said, I work so I know the other side. It can be a good thing IF you make the best out of it. I am a teacher and I have been able to work in several countries. My children have been able to see places others only dream of and I was able to give them things. . BUT TRUST ME it was not easy. There were many days my kids just waned time with me. There were many days I could not do things because I had to work. There were times when THINGS didnt mean anything to them. They would have rather had more attention from me. I would have LOVED the option to just be a mom..But with me being the only living parent that option was not given to me.
I had a stay a home mom and I am so thankful for the sacrifice she made to be able to do it.

By: db

db — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:26:36 +0000

It’s sad what culture does to us I’m telling you!!! I would adore the opportunity to be a stay at home/homeschooling mom! The most important job in the world is placed in another persons hands by x% of us every single day and that is considered normal.

The feminist movement did a great thing in getting women equal rights, but it sure killed the fact that we were created to be mothers to our children and on the real how many of us have jobs so fulfilling that it’s better than what we could be doing at home? Truth be told my house is so toe up because of the 9-5 LOL. Mind u I’d also do more within the community and things of that nature but I think we are lacking in the fact that more mothers are not at home than we are lacking in the working world.

Okay lemme get off my soapbox LOL this just gets me mad every time I hear someone having to defend why they are a stay at home mom.