Dear Mama: What about the Birds and the Bees?
Dear Mama,
How young is too young to start talking about the “Birds and the Bees”? I watched an episode of Oprah recently and they proposed talking to your kids as early as ten years old! Is this an appropriate age to talk about the dirty to your kids?
Sincerely,
A concerned Mom in NJ
Dear Concerned Mom,
I recall watching that episode as well. The portion of the show that stuck out to me the most was the part when a ten-year-old girl begged her mother to talk to her about “doing the dirty”. At her age, i don’t think i even knew the different parts of my body. Yet I am aware that kids nowadays are more advanced and probably know more about the “Birds and the Bees” than any one of us adults do. Therefore, there is perhaps no such thing as “the best time” to talk to a young child about the Birds and Bees. You have to know your child in order to figure out when the best time is. Keep in mind that when talking about this taboo subject, you should bring the conversation down to the child’s level. For example, it is best to let a five-year-old think that babies are made in a baby factory.
~Mama
If you have any questions for me, Please e-mail me at MamaGuru@blackcelebkids.com.
I learned about sex from my classmates in 5th grade (I was either 9 or 10); many of them claimed to be “doing it.”
My sister is currently in 4th grade and children are already talking about sex. It is clear that parents of her classmates are not talking to their children about this matter. I have explained it to my sister as “a grown up act with grown up consequences.” My sister also has a childrens bible that was given to her by the church that has 10 or so rules on the side. One is that sex should be saved for marriage. I was surprised to see that but it led to a healthy discussion.
My personal opinion is that parents should talk to their children about sex early and before their classmates can, but like Mamma said, the conversation should be put on their level. Kids should also be told early about “good touch” and “bad touch.” Many children who were molested said that they didn’t know anything was wrong with what was being done to them.
Well i feel that parent’s should tell their kid’s about sex because sonner are later they’ll here about it.and if it doesn’t come out the parents mouth kids are going to get influenced by it and they’ll go out doing it on their on not knowing about std’s I started at a younger age 13 and i felt like i came in it to fast and my mom never wanted to talk about it that left me not knowing things that i really did need to know….
a parent should talk to their child when ever they feel its right and when that child is on that level..
My mother started talking to me about it from I was very young (younger than 10) and continued into high school. Back then, AIDS had reared its ugly head and the tv was full of commercials about safe sex, STDS and condom use. I was a curious child and I asked my mother questions about what I saw. She’s an honest woman who never believed in b.s.ing children (no stork stories for her), and she answered my questions in simple terms and without gritty details. I didn’t turn out oversexed or too ‘prime’ for my age.
My advice is that if your child, regardless of age, asks you questions of these nature - don’t freak out, just talk a breath and answer them in a calm and honest way. Panicking and shutting up sends the message that they shouldn’t approach you with such questions again, and they’ll seek out other (less reliable and, maybe, more unscrupulous) sources.