Thank you all so much for your wisdom.

It just frustrates me in knowing how difficult this is…and NikNak, it looks like I’m heading your direction because I feel EXACTLY the way you do…EXACTLY…lol, I guess that we’re two peas in a pod.

Anyway, thanks again ladies!

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He is such a great person. All of my friends think I’m “lucky” to have him because he’s so considerate and selfless. He puts me before himself (which was the problem). I loved that he adored me, but after the third year I realized that the brief thoughts about him not graduating (in life not just college) became long bouts of worry and feeling bad about myself because I thought I was being a “gold digger”.

I broke up with him a few months ago. It didn’t end badly, although it was hard as heck to tell him that I was tired of waiting on him to get his life together. I still speak to him often, and ask myself if it was the right thing. I’ve met guys who looked good on paper, but we weren’t compatible. That plus being in such a long relationship makes me kind of out of the loop. I don’t know where to meet good guys.

My mom says I need to just give it a chance, and not rush things, and I’ll meet new people. I won’t lie, though. I’m afraid. I’m afraid I won’t feel the same way about the new guy that I did about my ex (I really do love him with all my heart). I’m afraid that I’ll never actually find what I want. I’ve meet a ton of nice guys that don’t have their life in order, and my goodness it’s getting harder and harder to require that they not have any children.

I guess we all just need patience.

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For you its so much easier to shout deuces…. but for me there is a child involved so it’s waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy more complicated because of what I wanted for her. HOWEVER being as selfless as I have been these past four years (as Im sure you have been as well) its high time to be selfish. A happy mommy = a happy baby… so the exit strategy has already been set in motion and this living arrangement is a done deal come August. (I am counting down the days to the millisecond)

The biggest lesson that I have learned from all of this is that you cannot be with someone because of who you think they are going to become or even who they tell you they want to be. Because then you are not in a relationship with that person or even in that moment- you are in a relationship with what ‘could be’… you are dating potential… and there is always potential for disaster and disappointment.

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