Dear Mama: I am a mom of twins and i feel so “unpretty”
Dear Mama,
I need your advice. You see, I am a mom of two..twins! I had always looked forward to motherhood and now my wishes have come true! So what is the problem, you say? Well, I have spent most of my life trying to achieve perfection. The perfect job, skin, hair, husband..you get the point. I feel so blessed by my twins and my husband but i feel so very imperfect. I am 70 pounds over the weight that i am supposed to be; my twins keep me busy and up all night; my husband, it seems, doesn’t have much time for me anymore and i am scared that he is no longer attracted to me. It’s been seven months since i gave birth. I feel so down. Should i be feeling this way? Am i selfish?
Sincerely, Unpretty
Dear Unpretty,
There is no such thing as perfection, as you may now be learning. It is ok to strive for perfection, but only if you allow yourself room for imperfection. It is our imperfections that make us grow as individuals. You are a new mom: enjoy the moment. Stop worrying about how you have gained 70 pounds and how you are no longer “perfect”. You just had twins for goodness sake! Embrace your new womanly figure. However, if you are extremely concerned about your weight gain, try to limit your intake of high fatty foods and get some few cardio workouts during the week. Just remember that you have twins to care for so don’t try to strain your body too much! As for your husband, maybe you two should sit down and have a talk. I am pretty confident that your husband isn’t so shallow that after seven months, he is no longer attracted to you. If that is the case, then maybe you should leave him home alone one weekend with the twins-that should take care of that problem.
5 Comments to “Dear Mama: I am a mom of twins and i feel so “unpretty””
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To the gift of life like no other,
I feel that he should support you to the upmost then and thereafter. What you have done no man could ever fathom. In this time for the non support that you are receiving stay strong, have faith, and beleive in the beauty and the gift of life.
Yours Truely from the support that I have given my wife through all of our children that I beared witness to the birth of each and every last one of them. With strong motivation and dedication to her and our Family.
From the Man AKA the Boss
Bobby B
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Dear Giver of Life,
You have just given life to not one but two angels. It took your body nearly a year to transform into the vessel in which to give life. The weight that you gained to give birth helped keep the children heathly and happy in your womb and you should embrace everything that you have become to shelter those beautify babies. I am a mother also and I know that after having children we go through many emotional and physicl changes. Just because you have gained weight doesnt mean that you cannot take it off when you and your body are ready. If you are a breastfeeding mother it is very important to your milk to continue to eat a healthy diet to maintain your milk. You can eat low fat foods, drink lots of water and get as much exercise as you can. When your children are done breast feeding you can start to focus on getting to the size you want to get too. I would suggest looking into the 6 week body makeover. It works but it takes commitment and time. Nothing comes easy. Don’t worry if you want the pre-baby body you will get it.
As for Your hubby not paying you any attention. Well it is very important to discuss this with him. We are not mind readers, there may be issues that you may never have thought about. So try to talk to him. And most of all take care of yourself, get your rest and take soem time out for you. You can’t take careof others if you cant take care of yourself.
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I think you need to make sure that your not suffering from any hormonal imbalances which could contribute to issues w/ your emotional health so i would definitely suggest you consult your doctor about how you’ve been feeling.
I absolutely agree that you should sit down and have a talk w/your hubby and just tell him how your feeling. Don’t just suffer in silence maybe if you share w/him the insecurities your experiencing he will help out more w/the babies and allow you some much needed “ME TIME”. I don’t know if you have the babies on a schedule or not ,but that can also help so maybe you can get some more Zzzzzzzzzs:)
Also you definitely need to fit in some exercise not just to lose weight ,but because exercise it good for your overall health. Maybe look into a fitness class that will allow you to bring the babies like “stroller strides” ,a gym that has childcare,or if you can afford it a personal trainer that can come to you.
I wish you luck i hope that things start to look more positive soon. God Bless!
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I don’t know your husband personally, but I can speak for my experience. I’ve had twins, and it takes a lot more work to keep things interesting after those beautiful babies are here. Men love attention, and he’s not getting all of the attention he’s used to getting from you. I started giving more verbal compliments and affirmations throughout the day, which inevitably turns in to more attention at night, if you know what I mean.
If you coo over a baby or something they’ve done, somehow fit in a compliment for him too. It may seem too simple, but it works.
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What determines beauty…..get those twins and give them the love they deserve now….while they are sleep get some old school music and dance for one hour three times a week and watch those extra pounds disappear
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