HOT TOPIC: IS POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION A TABOO SUBJECT?
It’s not easy being a mom, just ask singer Jill Scott. According to many studies, many new moms experience the “baby blues” shortly in the days after childbirth.
According to Women’sHealth.gov, “If you have the baby blues, you may: have mood swings, feel sad, anxious, or overwhelmed, have crying spells, lose your appetite, and have trouble sleeping. The baby blues most often go away within a few days or a week. The symptoms are not severe and do not need treatment.”
However, “the symptoms of postpartum depression last longer and are more severe. Postpartum depression can begin anytime within the first year after childbirth. If you have postpartum depression, you may have any of the symptoms of depression listed above. Symptoms may also include: thoughts of hurting the baby, thoughts of hurting yourself , not having any interest in the baby.”
Nearly 15 percent of new mothers succumb to post-partum depression, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
So why the silence? Is post-partum depression a taboo subject? Why do so many women suffer in silence?
I don’t know about it being “taboo”, but it’s definitely a very real and serious illness! And it’s not always directed towards the baby. My post-partum depression was directed towards myself. I contemplated suicide and would have left a 3 week-old baby without a mother! I think that discussing any type of depression is probably taboo in the Black community. That really needs to change!
Thanks BCK for your attempt at dropping some knowledge for your reader base and offering a platform for discussion.
I don’t have much to add that I haven’t already expressed at the referenced post regarding Jill Scott and her “baby blues moment” from a day ago. Will say this, silence isn’t always golden. It takes courage to have a voice when it matters, when it may be either dissenting or unpopular and during difficult times and situations.
May all new moms get the support they need, be it from family, spouse, friends or the medical community.
What is post-partum depression really? In my mind, all new mothers are bound to experience frustration and exhaustion, but does this necessarily mean that they should be clinically termed “depressed”? . Perhaps people that have post-partum depression already have underlying issues of depression before they even conceive. Amy, did you experience any symptoms of depression before you got pregnant?
Reread the BCK article above. They make a brief and important distinction between “baby blues” and Post Partum Depression. The differenence I would assume is in the severity and duration of symptoms, thoughts and ideation.
Yes…My sister suffered through it at the end of 2008 and at the beginning of last year, when she gave birth to my nephew. This opened a window to another list of problems. She had a lot going on..was hospitalized two days after giving birth…and for the next 2-3 months, Me and my other sister took care of the baby. She would do nothing, but cry and sleep…she barely ate…she was probably about 190 before getting pregnant, lost weight while…after the baby, during her depression she lost about forty lbs. One day, I was tired of seeing her like this…I put some billy blanks on and MADE her do something…it actually helped. Soon after (within a month) she began coming back to her old self.
Mental illness, in general, is a taboo subject. I’ve seen this firsthand from how some of my family members were/are treated because they are ill. It’s so misunderstood and feared. What a shame!
I am so happy this subject is being talked about. People assume that everyday with a new baby is bliss and that bundle of joy brings nothing but happiness 24/7. Sleepless nights and around-the-clock care is no joke. I would never condemn a woman for having such feelings. As others have stated in the Jill Scott thread, a great support system is key. Having the father or friend/family members to talk to (who, hopefully will listen and understand), and possibly a mental health professional is so important. Hopefully people will understand this topic and that more women will admit that they are going through it.
My heart goes out to every woman whom has experienced the pain and guilt of PPD.
it is a taboo to many people. when I felt like this I was ashamed….I knew something was wrong big time……when my baby was 8 weeks old I got into a clinic……I had….as I call them “terror thoughts”….in the beginning I felt afraid when I was walking holding her….cos I could slip out and fall with her and hurt by that….that thought consumed me so much, that the thoughts began to change….for the worse……i held my baby on the arm….not being mad at her….loviner her dearly….but I had thoughts of throwing her against the wall….put her in the oven, the microwafe,….boiling water (sorry for the extrem explanation)…I told my mid-wife, and my doctor and my mother….I went into a psychiatric clinic for 10 weeks…..There the doctors tell me that this type of depression is very very terrible….that usually the women who feel like that…don´t do what they think…..that the crying attacks after the thoughs are the love that comes out and on…..
I had to start taking medication, talk to psychiatrist and get better for the first 4 weeks in the clinic….then my daughter was with me the next weeks….we never been separated since then….and I am still crying thinking how I could not enjoy the time before that….
In the therapy I have learned that I had issues before….but that they weren´t able to come out….the birth…and all the hormones gave those problems a window to come out…..and boy they did…..huuuuuuuuge time….horrible, horrible I tell You.
I thank God for putting me through this and letting grow even and my family and boyfriend for being with me thru this entire time….It was the most terrible time of my life…and I talk about it openly to let women and men I know, know about this….so if they see a change of behaviour in their partners…they can intervene.
Postpartum Depression is a taboo….because everyone expects new born parents to be happy all day around…..they are not…..they expierence a love for example…they never felt….to deal with this alone can be quite tricky….hardly any sleep….crying babies….the whole new situation…and the hormones….it´s just terrible
gotta run
god bless
tanja
It’s not taboo at all..it is something that needs to be more openly discussed and mother’s need not feel ashamed. I sadly lost my sister to post-natal depression last year. And I think it’s sad that post-natal depression is not given as much support as other illnesses or more to the point some people fail to recognise it as an illness of the mind. Some mother’s will find motherhood hard which is fine, but they should not be made to feel as if they are a ‘bad’ parent just because they are not straight away head over heels with their new born/child. Instead support and understanding is needed.
Being a mother is very hard work, but it should be expected. Since some of us are stronger than others, the requirement of motherhood w/ newborns can be very overwhelming, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s always post partum depression.Only a few of us are blessed with “good” babies that don’t cry very much and can be left alone for 3 or 4 hours at a time as newborns. That needy, smelly, crying, selfish little parasite will love you unconditionally like no other and that’s what I think of when I start to feel like returning them to the hospital…or nearest fire station.
hi there….what You said is right….but when U have these depression…..You can´t think rationally….I had it…and I knew I loved my daughter more than anything….more than myself, than life itself….u know what I mean….still….I consider myself being a very strong woman…it didn´t keep me from getting this depression…no I even guess it drove me more into it….cos I was fighting against it…even ignoring it…and that is the dangerous part….as soon as U just get the little feeling of something not being right….women….go to the doctor…..the baby blues has nothing to do with the depression…it´s just a three-four day long way of feeling……the depression can make u commit suicide and things like that….it doesn´t have to when cared for…..I for example wanted to break my arms so I can not hurt my daughter…..
it´s a disease that women think is a taboo because of all the reason being mentioned by the posters above….it´s a new baby….a bundle of joy….many underestimate the impact the baby has on their lives and get the depression….others didn´t (as in my case….i knew how it would be….didn´t believe in fairytale parenting stories) and still get it.
My doctors told me that she one had a mother who had four children….all went fine…not even the baby blues hit her once….and she had her fifth child….and she was hit so bad…she almost killer herself….it can happen to anybody……
As I stated on my other post regarding Elle’s comments, the fallacies around this issue need to die.
Thanks for being open and shedding more light. Bless you.
Though I believe your post was well intended, I feel you do a disservice by perpetuating the myth that only “weak” moms succumb to PPD. That is why some moms may not get the help they need in the first place because they don’t want to be perceived as such. Enough. It also doesn’t help in getting to the bottom of why some moms are impacted and some are not.
The current theory is that there are various reasons why some women end up with PPD, from the ones who appear to have a charmed life i.e. Brooke Shields, to ones who may have had underlying issues prior that may have been intensified with the added stress of pregnancy, labor and fluctuating hormones, in addition to the responsibilitly of taking care of a new life.
Also, once someone becomes sick, I doubt if it is just so easy to will their thoughts a certain way. Not even a psychiatrist and know that much.
And another, it is not necessarily based on how “good” or “bad” a baby is either. I had a colicky baby, it didn’t manage to bring out any PPD in me, even if at times I wanted to pull my hair out.
To Tanja, Amy and others whose family members have been impacted (Sunshine, I am so very sorry to hear this about your sister) much peace, much respect for your strength and thanks for sharing your stories.
It’s good that it is being recognized but I do not believe 15% of mothers suffer from it. I believe there are also women who are likely to wallow and just need to put their shoulders under it.
I feel like we are overdiagnosing nowadays. Everyone has some illness, allergy,m autism etc….
Denial can also be an illness.