HOT TOPIC: IT’S JUST HAIR OR IS IT?
Celebrities are shaving their heads left to right(in the shape of a mohawk) and now so are their children. The trendy hairstyle has raised the question: “Should parents let their young children make decisions concerning their hair?”
A writer named Lacey Summerville has her opinion on the matter. She writes, “Children need a chance to express themselves just as adults need to-within reason. I believe that if there is a mutual agreement between a parent and child when it comes to hair and clothing styles-and if it’s not hurting the child in any way-then let the child express herself. If Jada had shaved Willow’s hair off against her will then maybe this would be deserving of people’s time, energy and commentary, but that is not the case.”
“What’s more, I find it amusing that this has even become an issue as there are so many meaningful topics we could be tackling other than what a 9-year-old has on her head.”
Click here to read more of Lacey’s opinion piece
So, Should parents let their young children make decisions concerning their hair?
The collage above shows Elisa(daughter of Magic Johnson); Angel Iris Brown(daughter of Melanie Brown and Eddie Murphy); and Willow Smith(daughter of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith).
49 Comments to “HOT TOPIC: IT’S JUST HAIR OR IS IT?”
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It is just hair and it will grow back but I feel this hairstyle is not age appropriate for young girls. If you give a 7 y/o that much control at such a young age, where do you go from there? What else do they control? Don’t get me wrong, my five year old gets to choose her hairstyles all the time as well as what outfit she would like to wear but this seems to be taking it a bit far for my personal likings. Magic’s daughter is older and that shouls be her decision but the younger ones……..
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Thank you, BCK, for bringing this up as we know hair, race, and Chance Combs, are huge topics on BCK.
I agree with Lacy 100%. If it’s not hurting the child AND the parent agrees, hey, why not? It’s just hair, and it can grow back. I believe that children should be allowed to express themselves if they are respectful and old enough to rationally do so. I may not like the style, but I’m not the one who has to wear it.
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I agree Teri, but you left off the list: MJ kids–lol.
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OMgoodness, how could I have forgotten them! You are SO right.
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Can someone feel my in as to why Chance Combs is a hot topic at Bck? I didnt know
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Marissa, that’s the question of the day. I can’t figure it out either, girl.
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Because people love drama.
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I dont agree with the shaved head but if these parents feel the need to let their child ‘express’ themeselves then who am I to say whether they should or shouldn’t. I just know my child will not be allowed to shave their head and call it ‘expressing’ themselves. These children these days want to grow up way too fast. They see all these adults doing it so they think why can’t I.
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The look is okay with me if it is indeed styled and maintained. The challenge of it is what to do when it starts growing out or if the person wants a different style say like, tomorrow. This style doesn’t allow for a lot of flexibility and change.
If I’m going to give my toddler a Mowhawk style, I’m not going to perm the middle and let the roots grow out without at least making a single braid out of the hair in the middle, until the side and back hair grow back out.
That’s just me, though.
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addendum..I’d make a cornrow or a braid in the middle before I’d send them out for the day to preschool, daycare, or anywhere the paparazzi may snap a photo of her.
And I certainly would not allow photographers in my kitchen or dining area to get pictures of my child looking like her hair is not coiffed for any amount of money that a magazine may offer me.
Again, I’m only speaking for myself, not Mel B.
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I have a bigger issue with kiddie perms and putting weaves in young girl’s head than I do the shaving! I think Willow’s hair is cute, but Angel’s hair style wouldn’t even look right on an adult!
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Lol or they call us ignorant and tell us that “such and such is a fact, and EVERYBODY knows it!”. Lol. Thanks, hope your weekend is well.
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Pisces, it’s all good, girl. You have the right to your opinion. Isn’t that why we come here? Chile, speak your mind!
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If the child is old enough (like Magic’s daughter) to make the decision then it’s ok,otherwise how can a toddler make a decision to cut her hair in any style. I see a lot of comments stating it’s just hair it’ll grow back but the same can be said about clothes you can just take them off but would you let your young child make decisions on what she wears. What if she wants to wear a bathing suit to preschool. Is that o.k .I feel it’s all about limitations and boundaries that need to be set at a young age.
As for Mel B I think she just did’nt know what to do with her baby’s hair so she just cut it off. Low maintenance.
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Limitations and boundaries? Of course there’s going to be limitations and boundaries when it comes to what a child wears to SCHOOL, but it’s no one’s business what they wear in their spare time, as long as it’s publicly decent (not breaking laws). As far as Mel cutting it off for low maintenance, that’s silly because her oldest daughter has always had a lot of hair, and she didn’t cut hers. Stop assuming.
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In case you were confused I was implying not assuming that maybe Mel B cut Angel’s hair because she could not handle the hair texture Angel has… as far as her older daughter she does have a head full of hair but her texture is also the type that curls when wet & some find this texture easier to manage.
Signed
IMPLYING not ASSUMING!
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That may be true but if you look at the little girl’s hair the ends are not even and look unkempt. I also notice that we seem to take on the the idea from a lot of these women who have adopted Black children and don’t seem to know what to do with the hair. Which to me is just silly. Just because Seale has little boys whose hair, to me, just looks totally umkempt, doesn’t mean that all Black boys should adapt this as a style. I don’t care what, unkempt just looks unkempt and noone will make it “pretty” to me. They need a good brush and trim to give it some shape. They just look like Buckwheat to me. Everybody has one or the other problem with their hair and they need to use products that make it neat. If we saw some Black woman who had their children out in public with the hair all over their head and no kind of shape to it, we would have wondered why they would have allowed their children to look like that; but just because some women who are not Black decide to choose Buckwheat hairdos we find it so “cute” and start to imitate it. It was wild and unkempt then and it’s wild and unkempt now. Even Afros had shape and style to them. And that’s my opinion.
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Brooks, I’m with you, Brooks. We all need boundaries but especially the younger set.
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It’s just hair. Black people (in this case) need to learn to stop bein judgmental about something as unimportant as hair. We walk around with weaves, spendin lots of money on hair appointments, and other superficial means of “looking good” when none of it matters. If these girls pictured above turn out to be good people, that’s all matters. Angel’s mother, Melanie even shaved her own head recently. People need to get over it and mind their own business. In addition, they need to raise their own children not to be superficial, and not to care about what others think. Teach them individuality and self-confidence and not to measure their self-worth on how many “haters” they can collect, while simultaneously insecure with themselves and overcompensating the insecurity with superficial glamor.
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BCK posed a direct question on this post, “So, should parents let their young children make decisions concerning their hair?”
Would it be correct to assume that they are asking for individual opinions on how we feel about the topic?
If this is the case, there should be no room for much criticism and argument about what others write or feel and what people are writing are not judgments. This is truly a case of to each his own.
In other words, BCK is encouraging readers to express how they feel and the issue here is not about minding others business.
The question BCK asked can really be answered with either a yes or no, really.
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What the heck are u talking about? I answered the question just fine, Pisces. No one else answered with a simple “yes or no”
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@tight2def…it’s cool, you’re right, I wasn’t criticizing you or your comment I was just making a general observation about the question posed. Please forgive me if I offended you, it wasn’t my intent. I’m not in charge of anything here and not trying to be.
I may be overly sensitive because of how I feel under attack here, sometimes. You cool with me and I appreciate your exchange of opinions. Sincerely. I think we both have something in common..we love visiting BCK and writing!
Thank you.
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100% Agreed
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Well you know me – the lover of natural hair. My name says it all. When I thought of it, I intended it to mean Nappy, Kinky And Twisted. I’m a nappy (natural) head with 4 natural children, 3 of whom are girls ages 7, 12, and 15. I used to have a relaxer for 7 years but been natural for about 14 years now. My daughters have never had a relaxer. Two of my daughters have more curly wavy hair, and the other is bit more nappy and tightly coiled, it looks like Willow’s and Angel. People have said to me ‘Oh I could their hair (the wavy/curly girls), but the one with the nappy hair, she needs a relaxer!’ My girls have good hair-esteem and they don’t want a relaxer, but I don’t mind them experimenting with color. I allow my 15 to experiment with color now.
My problem is that there is a texture bias here. I don’t care with the teens too, they are old to enough choose. But with the younger kids – they are getting their hair cut off because these BLACK parents feel the freedom to experiment with their hair more because these kids have very nappy/kinky hair. Jaden Smith has more wavy/curly textured hair and has been allowed to showcase his hair and grow it. Scary Spice’s older daughter’s hair is the same way and she has been allowed to showcase and grow it. But Willow and Iris (and the first kid in the pic -although she is a teen) is getting their lopped off because it’s not wavy or curly but nappy, kinky, and more prone to tangles and dryness.
Gotta give a hand to Heidi and Angelina and other white moms – they are trying harder to showcase their little nappy haired kids and keep it natural, so I give them kudos on their kids hair always as long as it’s natural and looks good and healthy – and Johan, Henry, Sahara and others their hair does look nice. And mind you, some of these kids have NAPPY hair, not that bouncy curl ‘mixed’ hair that people praise and call it ‘good hair.’ Just because we are BLACK parents, that doesn’t mean we know what the hell we are doing with natural hair. We are African descended and come of a culture where we knew how to braid and cornrow and take care of hair, but many of us have lost that ability and don’t know what to do with our hair. Mohawks are just a way to avoid doing hair that appears too hard and unmanageable for us to do (we often use locs and relaxers for the same purpose). I can’t believe with all that dam money, these rich black folks don’t know how to care for hair or hire somebody to do it for them. Why can’t they go to a shop like Khamit Kinks in Cali or Napps in Missouri or any place like that and get their kids hair done? And use natural ingredients on it that moisturize the hair and make it look beautiful? Jada endorses Carol’s Daughter but still chopped Willow’s hair off – or let her do it. Willow probably didn’t even like her own hair. And it looks like she got a relaxer too – just like Iris. I don’t think these girls are going to have good hair-esteem.
I’m not anti-relaxer or anti-fake hair anymore, but I’m bias and a nappy-evangelist. We must show girls and boys how to love, accept, and care for their natural hair before they wind up hating it and trying to eliminate it with relaxers or start hiding behind weaves and extensions.
We aren’t arguing about a ‘trivial’ matter here. Hair is an issue that speaks of deeper issues within our psyche just like skin color and the seemingly preoccupation with whom has married a white person or not. If you can’t accept ALL of being black and what black entails – nappy hair as well as dark skin, then it is going to cause some issues deep within us, issues that we have been struggling with since slavery and jim crow.
So there’s my soapbox on nappy hair and why this mohawk trend is disturbing for me on little black girls. Please consider what I say and act and think accordingly. Thank you.
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Funny how they say that your kinkier-haired daughter ‘needs a relaxer’, when they’re not the one who has to deal with it.
And would you believe I’ve read where people say that Zahara’s hair ought to be relaxed? People have gone nuts!
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Personally, I think education, poverty, and systematic racism/sexism are more important issues.
I also LOVE the ‘fro-hawk.
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no i dont think parents should let their kids decide to cut their hair. i think its crazy that mel b ,jada, and cookie cut they girls like that. jada treats her kids like grown ups which is totally ridiculous.
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But why make such an assumption? Obviously those parents made the “hair” decision WITH their children which is a great thing to model, even at an early age. Being open-minded about choices and consequences, as well as providing plenty of love, support, and guidance is so critical to nurturing young leaders.
Do you believe that these children got on the phone, called a stylist to make an appointment, and got their hair cut all by themselves.
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That hair cut on Angel is an eye sore but she’s not my child so hey, ya know? As for the topic, I don’t see anything wrong with the haircuts. It’s healthier than putting all the fake stuff in their hair.
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@ToniA..I’m glad you said it because I felt it, too but I have to watch what I say because I tend to rub people the wrong way sometimes and I need to be careful. So, thanks for saying what you did.
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No you don’t, Pisces. Girl, no one here is the blog police. We may not agree with one another, but that’s the beauty of blogging, girl, so you just keep doing you, Pisces.
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Thanks, Teri. You are such a dear, always.
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I believe that when you’re old enough, yes you can have some input into how you want to wear your hair, so Elisa & Willow seem fine to me, though they shouldn’t do too much because nothing is cute when it’s overdone. When you’re a little girl though, it’s different; I don’t belive in cutting little girl’s hair. I find it hard to believe that Angel Iris said “mommy cut my hair” but you never know. Mel B is my girl, but no she doesn’t know how to do hair. Mel B is biracial (white mother/black father) and I don’t believe her mother knew how to do her hair (and I don’t think she’s learned how to in the present), so in pictures from when she was a little girl and older she wore her hair naturally, just like Mariah Carey who is also Biracial (white mother/black father) she wears wigs/weaves that are really fabulous but when you take them off underneath yes her hair is blonde but it’s curly and frizzy and has coil too, and she even stated her mother didn’t know how to do her hair when she was younger, so I think Mel B is trying to still find her way. I just hope she doesn’t over do it and wind up ruining the child’s hair. (Another thing, can someone tell me exactly what shaving your head is supposed to express when you’re nine years old?)
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KimmyCo., good point about what tiny ones not being sophisticated enough to make statements through a hairstyle. Someone as young as Angel Iris is still nothing more than an extension of her parents, IMO.
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I think kids should be able to express themselves within reason.
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ITS JUST A FAD TO ME.
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I’m kinda a girly girl.. Bedazzled hair and clothes.. I only watched sesame street, abc news, and the cosbyshow growing up. I don’t think I was very influenced by pop culture.. But I always cut, colored, added hair. Went natural, relaxed, curled, or crimped my hair. I was yelled at the first time I thought I would look cute with my hair cute off..simply because I didn’t speak with my parents about it. I think age plays a big role in the whole hair thing.. I think Mel b is crazy…and allowing a child who was still in a baby stroller to have a balded mohawk seemed to much. And Jada and Will are out there.. I’ve followed Jada since a different world.. She’s had several hair changes soo it didn’t seem crazy for Willow to follow. Williow seems like a show girl any way.. Soo its expected. But cutting hair is never that serious… growing it back is a pain in the butt.. So I say you need to be… this high to get on the ride…( at least a double digit age)
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Leilaray..you made such a cute statement. You’re still a girly girl.
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Who cares about the rich and famous hairstyles, I dont. I come up here to see the beautiful children of black people that you rarely see in magazines, what a shame. We all know what happens later on in life when parents let their children act to grown or make grown up choices. That is why I love to see articles on celebs like Kimora Lee, Blair Underwood, etc, parents who let it be known that they are the adult. Yet they still let their children make reasonable choices that is best suited for children. I feel sorry for little Angel, Mel think that what she do through that little girl will irk Eddie. Wake up Mel!!!! Eddie doesnt give a rats behind about that sweet little girl, he isn’t the first and he want be the last man that acts that way.
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I mean yes I think certain aged kids should be able to have a right to choose. they have a right to express THEMSELVES. aslong as it isnt offensive,causing a distruption at their school. why not?? ofcouse have boundaries and set certain limits ,yes it is to much to let a 7 year old wear 7 different colors in their hair to school but a simple mohawk hair cut like willow?? no its egdy and cute. I mean times have change I’m all for keeping certain things old school but kids today WANT to express themselves if you dont let them do it young, when they get older there not going to have the confidence to want to try something new but if you let them express themselves a little young they can grow confidence in trying new things and looks and not being afraid to stand up infront of their peers and be proud of their own individual style without caring what the negative people think because they would have been expressing themselves for so long it wouldnt matter to them anyway. People who think kids shouldnt wear funky cool new hairstyles need to get with the times ,not all girls today want to wear barettes and beads in their hair until there 14 that doesnt mean there trying to be “grown” they just wanna be different.
when I have kids they will most welcome to express there hair and clothes as long as it isnt goign over board but some parents really need to start being more openminded to some of the new trendy (appropriate) styles today.
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As a Parent & member of the wet & wavy club I find that people put way too much on hair. I cut mine off every3 to 4 years from mid-to lower back length to very short babyafro..because it’s just hair. We love to make comments about how “good” someones hair is..we as people do this to ourselves. We teach our own chilren that having nappy hair is not okay. Growing up being teased because you have “white-people” hair is just as traumatic as being teased fopr having a coarser grade. I have three daughters all have a different grade of hair from curly wavy like mine to coarse and thick like thier dad’s. I have one child whose hair is a mix of the two so go figure. If my children want long hair fine, if they want to cut it short then fine also…it’s just hair. Mel B may think that 100 knockers on a child looks insane too.
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Kids should have the freedom to express themselves. I don’t think a toddler should have their hair lopped off but to each’s own. Also Willow’s hair is the same texture as her brothers.
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I think it’s great to let them express themselves and when they get older they will be use to setting the trends and not following them.
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After watching GOOD HAIR by Chris Rock, I learned some things I had not known. It seems to be more than “just hair” to Black folk. I can’t believe the amount of time and money that is spent by us going directly out of our community for products used mostly by us. It is rediculous to be 12 percent of the nation 80% of the profit going out of our own communities. I really don’t care how you choose to maintain your hair, but I certainly do care that we are not recycling our dollars within our community for products that we use to maintain our hair. That, to me, is just sick because it is under our control if we want it to be. That was an eye opening documentary. I’m just saying!
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Angel Murphy is not expressing herself, she is too young to have asked her mother to cut her hair that way.
Also, she doesn’t even seem to do anything with it. The hair looks over processed and dry.
As for Willow and other children old enough to make a request about the way they wear their hair and the clothes they wear..I don’t have a problem as long as they are safe choices and they don’t break school rules.
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Angel Iris look too cute, although it makes her look like a little boy. I don’t think Mel B should have done that to her hair at such a young age because she can’t say yes or no if she wants the style or not, like Willow and Elisa can.
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I am a parent of 5 and a ton of experience!!! It is JUST hair and there are many other issues that one could focus on other than a hair cut. As long as the parent is fine with it and the child I say leave people alone. Angel is a little young for it but it seems like her mother is raising her children responsibly and I am prone to trust a parent’s judgement in how they raise their child so long as they are abusing the child in any way. Now if she put Angel in some 4 inch heals with a ton of makeup and innapropriate attire I would have issue but that isn’t the case. The child looks healthy, is always dressed like a little girl she JUST has a haircut…
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It doesn’t matter, in my opinion. Truly, how is having a mohawk going to affect anything of importance in a kid’s life? I believe kids should be treated with respect, and part of giving respect is a parent not controlling every single movement and action of their kid. Hair grows back and in the grand scheme of things, is really trivial.
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A child that is old enough to understand the scrutiny that comes from shaving their head and still wants a hairstyle like that have a lot of confidence. People are always going to have something to say about your appearance so letting your child pick hairstyles and outfits that wouldn’t be accepted in society or by their peers(but still age appropriate) Is going to let them blossom into a self confident adult and when everybody in the world is wearing brown they’ll wear blue.
Don’t look at it like oh my god why is she dressed like that and look at it like wow she have guts.
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