VIDEO:TAYE DIGGS AND HIS CHOCOLATE-VANILLA SWIRL
Submitted by admin on March 19, 2010 at 10:18 am 125 Comments
Actor Taye Diggs stopped by the Ellen Degeneres show yesterday. While at the show, Taye showed a picture of his six-month-old baby and spoke about why he has nicknamed his son “Swirl.”
“My baby just turned six months. I am worried that he doesn’t know his name because we have so many nicknames for him. These days [we call him] Skywalker, Walkman, Walkathon.. and Swirl because he is a chocolate-vanilla swirl. And on the back of his head he’s got a little swirl. I love him so much,” said Taye of his son.
Video Highlights:
-We learn that Walker Nathaniel Diggs has a lot personality.
-Taye has a new nickname and it’s “Honey, could you just.”
-Taye is quite the doting father!
He’s cute. They act like he is the only mixed baby out there…I’m a freaking swirl just with more things than black and white. So what. There are millions of ’swirls’ in this world. That little nickname is unnecessary(to me).
I am not seeing how they are acting like their son is the only biracial child out there. Where did you get that impression from what he said? The man is gushing about his wife and son.
I am no fan of Taye, but I think people are reaching with this on. And with all the nonsense of husbands and fathers stepping out and embarrassing their families, it is nice to see the opposite here.
He said that he and his wife gave him the nickname swirl because he is black and white. I have nothing against him but I feel that is really unnecessary. What if they have another child is he/she going to be swirl #2. It’s MY opinion.
They also said it is because he had a swirl on the back of his head. And They could name baby #2 milkshake for all I care. I just didn’t see how you came to the conclusion they thought their son was the only biracial kid on the planet based on what he said, but okaaay.
The baby is cute and I wish that people would stop with the race thing. U can talk about it all day and people are still going to have their own views. Its pointless. I feel that whoever makes you happy, then thats who you need to be with. Sure, I would love to see more black relationships, but hey that’s just my opinion. My neice is mixed and I love her just the same. I don’t know what he personally said about black women, but I will do my research. I hope he didn’t say anything to bad considering the fact that he came from a black woman and he is black himself.
Anyway, I will look and see what all the uproar is about…
What. No one cares what type of ’swirl’ you are. He is talking about his son and what they like to call him. Don’t see why anyone would have a problem with that.
I get what your saying like ok he’s mix! by calling him swirl his parents are making it an issue why cant he just be him without them calling him swirl Im pretty sure he’s going to know he’s mixed. I think taye digga is just color struck because he’s so dark and the child is light. Black people like that are so ignorant.I’m black I have a half Portuguese daughter I dont go around saying he little mutt to my child its not cute nor endearing.
Hi, first time posting here but long-time reader
This picture is just too cute!!!! And wow, Walker’s expression reminds me so much of Idina! Gorgeous baby, and daddy isn’t too bad himself!
His baby is probably a cutie but I am sick of this man and his views on black women. We were the one supporting his movies. He didn’t have to go hard on us like that.
What exactly are his views on black women. I am not aware of any derogatory remarks he has made.
I forget exactly but he said something controversial and ignorant. His son is beautiful though.
Not that it matters, but I don’t have a problem with him being married to a woman of any race. You love who you love. I do have a problem with some of the things he said. Here’s the link: [link removed].I understand how some of it can be deemed true, but the way he says it is disrespectful and gives a very jaded opinion of black women…in my opinion.
Why was the link removed?
The link was removed because the posting rules state that they do not want you to link to other sites.
I can’t see the video but he can call him whatever he wants. It is not offensive so I hope this isnt going to be a bitter 90 comment long forum. I wish the best for his family and I’m glad he’s happy with his wife
He is super cute. No comment on dad.
he looks nothing like his daddy. he seems like an hilarious baby, though
Black women NEVER supported Taye Diggs. Everyone thought he was corny.
Generalizing much? Some do and some don’t. There are a black women who like Taye Diggs. I don’t like him or dislike him; however, I loved the movie, “Best Man.” I could care less who he’s married to.
I don’t know where you got that info. I know plenty of black women that was drooling over Taye. Especially in How Stella Got Her Groove Back.
he is corny sometimes but I wouldn’t say that I don’t support him. Most of us loved him in How Stella Got Her Groove Back, The Wood, Best Man, and Brown Sugar. He hasn’t done anything to offend or disrespect us so stop speaking for everyone of us black women when its clearly just you and a couple others who are intimidated by who he is married to. When he says something disrespectful then we can jump on him and be mad.
I second most of the posters who replied your blanket statement.
Taye Diggs is viewed as “classically” handsome by many black and white women.I am one of them.
Aside: I didn’t like that scarf thingy he had on during the Ellen interview, but he looked nice otherwise and his son is cute.
BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN have to understand that Dark black men weren’t getting any attention from BLACK WOMEN (sometimes up to this day).THEY were teased for being dark skin and they weren’t accepted in the black community. Sometimes it makes one feel that being dark is the most horibble thing on this earth. Therefore in order for history to not repeat itself, he wants his children to go through a better life.NOW LOOK AT THE RESULTS OF TAYE AND OTHER DARK BLACK CELEBRITIES.DO YOU UNDERSTAND.
We dont have to understand anything because no one has to explain why they are with their spouse. Maybe that happened where you come from and when and Im sorry you had to see that. Im 20 and from Detroit and that seldom happens that a person is teased or discriminated against because of their complexion. That might happen to a very dark person in middle school but adults are better than that. Actually me and most girls and women I know prefer darker men even though that’s not who we are always attracted to. They usually tend to come off as tougher too which I think is stupid. And the girls who do discriminate and say he GOTTA be light skinned or else are just uncomfortable with themselves. Dudes say “Im bringing light skinned back” or “Im bringin dark skinned back” when it’s all good anyway because they are the best being on this earth: a black man!
I really don’t know where some posters are getting their “facts” about dark skinned black men not being “in” with black women. I know plenty of black women who looooooove chocolate men, myself being one of them. Some of the biggest black male sex symbols are darker complexioned. Taye Diggs, Blair Underwood, Morris Chestnut, Denzel Washington, Omar Epps, Tyson Beckford, Reggie Bush, and I could go on for days. So what, dark skinned black men were teased for being too dark? So are dark skinned black females. If you turn on the tv, it’s hard to find a dark skinned female being depicted as attractive. Your argument is weak. Maybe Taye Diggs is with a white woman because that’s simply what he’s attracted to, or maybe he just so happened to fall in love and she was white, but don’t blame it on him being teased for being dark!
I agree! I love the look of rich chocolate skin! and so do many other black women I know. I’ve had a “yella” brotha or two bemoan when they will be back “in”–lol. But luckily preference is an equal opportunity thing, some like light and some like dark and that is how it will be til the end of time.
Also, most kids get teased for something or the other, whether they are light or dark, short or tall, etc. Doesn’t make it right, but that’s life.
I am freegin’ tired of other blacks perpetuating this “myth” of darker skin being viewed as less desirable. Why don’t we stop verbalizing it so much and internalizing it. STOP reacting so much to the ‘ignants who buy into it AND STOP WITH THE BLANKET STATEMENTS ON IT, OK.
THANK YOU for Your Reply.In American society, it seems like black men don’t want darker women than themselves.If you look at the majority of these Black males,trust me they would be happier with a lighter complexioned female.THEREFORE it becomes a trend. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
THANK YOU for Your Reply.YOU MISS MY POINT. I think you have to understand that Black men (especially Black celebrities) don’t want dark skin children in thier LIVES.Therefore they wouldn’t mate with DARK SKIN WOMEN.LOOK AT THE BLACK MEN ON THIS WEBSITE AND LOOK AT THE BLACK COMMUNITIES.OKAY
giiirrrrlllllll, HIGH FIVE!!!!! I read “Reggie Bush” in your comment and almost fainted! whoo! I love him! And I don’t care that he’s with Kim K. They look good together. I still wanna kiss him though and do other things Im not allowed to say on this site. As for the brothers bringing that story to life, they are just insecure and using it as an excuse. You are right. We love our chocolate and so do other women. But can you blame em?
Taye who?I don’t know who he is
Oh nevermind I know who he is I seen him before . I just never knew his name. And he’s a great actor. I just couldn’t see who he was because it was so dark.
Lol were you serious? You really never knew his name or was that a diss?
the kid is cute yet i’d still like to see more BLACK men married to BLACK WOMEN.
I cannot believe this. Now if this were a white woman saying the opposite about her race, you knowwwww you’d have a big ole’ fit!! We have come way too far for you to be posting things like this. This is the EXACT reason I don’t bring my BEAUTIFUL WHITE husband to where I grew up. Because I know this crap would happen. You are extremely ignorant. It doesn’t matter WHAT color you are or what color your spouse is!! Things are changing, clearly you need some help realizing that.
Hi Ms. Melo…
it’s an OPINION….which everyone is entitled to. Ignorant because “I’d honestly like to see more Black men married to Black women”…ok that’s your opinion…smh lol
You need to stop acting like race is not a big deal STILL in this country. Having biracial children will NOT erase racism.
THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT! that is the truth. People think race isnt a big deal anymore. I didnt think so either, I have tons of white friends, but I am aware that some other people in this world are not as advanced. Ignorance will always exist and lets not be ignorant and think otherwise.
I’m sorry, I don’t recall saying having biracial kids will ERASE racism! I just try to be more level-headed about the whole thing. Our country is changing and slowly we’re coming out of it so why acknowledge it every damn chance you get?! You must be one of them people who walk around looking for someone to say something remotely racist so you can b!tch and moan about it…SMH
I don’t think a white woman would ever say that. No offense but when they look to the media, they see white men are with white women lol. Ihat being said, I [ersonally have no problem with interracial relationships as long as there is no disrepect directed toward the opp. sex of said race(applies to all races btw). Cute family btw.
Rilz, u got that right. White women are still by and large hooking up with white men and vice versa. So they may be less inclined to feel a false sense (and it is false on various levels) of “abandonment” by “their” men. Yes, love should be colorblind. I have not a thing against interracial mating/dating, but blacks are more anxious or willing to “mix it up” it seems than any other “race”, just an observation.
Melo, I am not disturbed in the least when I see whites declare that they rather date their “own” and don’t be naive they do so more than blacks at online blog sites and other sites on the internet. Blacks on a whole seem more “welcoming” of interracial relationships, that is the reality I know.
I am only concerned when they (whites) deny me a job, housing fair pay, that kind of thing. If a white man chooses a white woman over me JUST because she is white, that is his hang-up, his life, and his choice.
omg i hate black people that this way. as african-americans, we have faces so much racism and prejudice, yet we still think its okay to be prejudicial against others. interacial love is beautiful and a showing of how far we’ve come as a society. taye is beautiful, so is his son.
Can we agree that love between two people is beautiful. I don’t think the color of the lovers matter. Love is the subject.
That kid looks nothing like him
You guys are going a little overboard and crazy haha. I love Idina, Taye, and this little guy is so cute! He looks just like his mama.
Smh @ same old comments… Walker so cute tho.
That expression on his little face is like a deer in headlights. Too cute!
Kid is cute but I think what he wanted to say is ‘oh I’m just so happy that I have a little half-white baby”
Just wow, your comment. It must be something you see that is so ‘precious’ about this?
This is the man’s first child, its a boy that appears to be healthy. Whether the kid is black, blue or purple, would you not express your joy?
Yes but wouldn’t relate it to my baby’s color. I just have to wonder if he would be as happy if the baby was as black as he is?
Unless he is some sort of flake, I am sure he would love the darker baby just the same. All babies are precious. A lighter “coat’ does not endow a baby with any significant gifts set apart from the next.
Well im happy to have a beatiful BLACK baby no vanilla needed to polish the beatiful……So there!!
You go girl! And I’m sure your baby is just as adorable.
His baby looks a lot like his mother, and I am not just talking skintone. He got his dad’s funky ears though.
I would have thought he inherited the ears from his Mom…you know, Irish..leprechaun. Oh, please forgive my ignorance, I almost forgot that nowadays it’s popular to trace our genealogy back to where our surnames were derived, even to our slave masters, so Irish blood/ears could come from either side of the family.
Slave owners who immigrated to the United States had the surname of Diggs. There very well could be some Irish smatterings in there, too.
Cute baby, though…ears and all. Keep em’ coming, BCK. Recent photos, I mean.
Who cares….Taye have always loved white women, he is from Rochester, NY(only thing they love there). Not a problem if that is what you want, a problem if you act like they are better than your own mother,sisters,aunts,neices,etc. That is how he acts, swirl, is he for real?lol…..just tacky.
I don’t think Taye is racist at all. You can’t help who you love and one of the worst things in the world is to have a community question your love when all you want is for everyone to just be happy for you. His comments on dating black women were clearly a defense tactic that came off a little strong because of his frustration. Knowing that there are black men out there that have 7 kids with 5 baby mommas working for $6.75 an hour if they’re even working, it is good to see a successful black man doting over his wife and son like that. Keep it up TAYE!
Taye is a learned person and he could have kept his mouth shut about his choice for a mate. I beg to differ, you can help who you love. It’s done everyday.
While I can understand where you are coming from I don’t necessarily agree. I believe you can help who you fall in love with. More often than not love begins with attraction. If you are attracted to White you tend to notice White more this also goes for whatever race you are attracted to. For instance do you really think that there isn’t a Black women in the whole world that would make Tiger happy if he didn‘t care about race? Of course there is but he chooses not to look for one, therefore since the only girls he is looking at are White that’s who he is ending up with (sorry had to use Tiger lol). The same goes for Taye. If he is only looking for White girls that is who he will end up falling in love with because he is not opening himself up to anyone else. Honestly I have no problem with this, like who you wanna like but don’t try and justify it with platitudes like “you can’t help who you fall in love with” because that’s crap. If you make a choice stand by it don’t justify it.
As for his comments against Black woman…a defence tactic? What? His show fails and the first people he chose to blame were Black women, that says a lot more about him than anyone else. I’m sure nobody went up to him and said hey I stopped watching your show because you’re with a White girl so where did he get those delusions? Has it ever occurred to anyone that maybe just maybe he already had these resentments and this was his chance to let it out. Let’s face it if his logic is correct other shows should have gone down as well, for example Y&R, B&B, 90210,Greys Anatomy. Those are just some shows with interracial couples in them, now if we are looking at Black actors who are dating or married to White girls anything Wesley Snipes does would be boycotted, same with Jamie Fox and Terrence Howard not to mention American Idol should have been off the air a long time ago because of Randy. You see my point?
I also believe that the reason he is getting more hate on these boards is because he appears to be “flaunting” his sons Whiteness. Other people just talk about how wonderful their child is and how beautiful they are. They give them cute names like bunny, tiger, chipmunk (this is what I call my nephew:)). They don’t usually look at there child as a colour. Swirl seems to be just another way of letting the world know “hey look my child is mixed”. Now I’m not saying this is how he meant it (to be honest I haven’t looked at the video) but this apparently seems to be the way people are taking it. Considering his past comments it would be hard to take it another way.
Well said Toya1. I feel the very same way. As I said before, I stopped watching the show because it sucked. I love PRIVATE PRACTICE. His role, of late, is looking pretty crappy because he seems to be chasing this woman who respects the friendship she has with his ex wife and he cares nothing about that. It seems so, so, how shall I say, TAYE DIGGS.
The baby looks scared, like the next words out of his mouth would be, “Who’s the Black guy?”
This is obviously not a recent photo. The baby is at least 6 months old now.
lol lol lol!!! too funny!
Good luck with your acting career Taye Diggs.
I don’t think he needs too much luck. This man stay working. lol.
CUTE I LIKE HIS BIG EYES.
The little guy has his mouth and ears, otherwise, he seems to be all mama! But well, we’ll see when he’ll be a teen! Cute family, and Taye can love the woman he wants! Would you accept being told who to be with? I don’t think so!
To be honest blacks that say, (especially men) that a black person didn’t want them for their darks skin are lying because they want to justify their reasoning for dating a non black. Black men do this the most and it is sounding dumber and dumber. I starting to think that they discount themselves because of their own insecurites for being dark and if they can’t get a light skin black women, (because they actors(usually don’t want a darkskin women), then they make up a lies that a black women didn’t want them. Utter BS. First off you shouldn’t have an excuse for dating a nonblack. Date who you want but don’t bash your own race of women or men in the process. Black men are known for this because they want someone to feel sorry for them for having darkskin and hating themselves.
Back to Taye good luck to his wife because he is notorious for cheating and no black women would want to put up with that bs any day. Rather die single and alone then to be dealing with a cheating man and That has nothin to do WITH HIM BEING DARKSKIN. STOP BEING MISGUIDED NON BLACK WOMEN. WHEN A MAN TELLS YOU A NONBLACK WOMEN DIDN’T WANT HIM DUE TO HIS DARKSKIN, HE IS LYING. WHAT HE WANTS TO TELL YOU IS A BLACK WOMEN DIDN’T ALLOW HIM TO CHEAT EXCESSIVELY- NOW I HAVE MET SOME BLACK MEN WITH WHITE WIVES THAT ARE COMFORTABLE IN THEIR SKIN SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO BLAME THEIR REASON FOR NOT WANTING A BLACK WOMEN ON THEIR SKIN.They don’t have this hate and no alternative motive for dating a white women other then love. When they see a black women, they will hold the door open for her or say hi. They aren’t so filled with hate for themselves and black women. That is genuine. This Taye Diggs is not. I would not want him you are right and it isn’t due to his darkskin but due to his hate for his darkskin and his cheating ways. I will be surprised if this relationship last but why woudn’t it, his wife lets him mess around. He can have his cake and eat it too.
Haven’t they been together for a long time?
Taye Diggs has the right to date and marry anyone he chooses to, just like Halle Berry, Kerry Washington and countless other black women in Hollywood. Do black women give Kerry Washington hell over her dating choices. Is she being disrespectful to her father, grandfathers, uncles and countless black men who were lynched simply for being black men?
To me, it doesn’t matter who they choose as their mate. It rubs me the wrong way when they start blaming an entire group for the reasons the choose whom they choose. If and when asked about their chose, make it a personal answer not a blame game.
I don’t think people are being racists. It’s just that everyone hates the comment that he made that is son is a swirl. Everyone is trying to say that comment wasn’t really necessary we already know that your kid is a swirl. That’s not hate, it’s that people find that nickname to be a cliché. That’s all! Why do people think that not liking that comment is being a hater?
@Sammie, good points. I believe that some people feel that he goes “a little extra” because his son is half-white. It’s kind of corny now.
Ok, here’s the hoopla regarding Taye Diggs’ comment regarding black women:
“Last week, Taye Diggs’ TV series “Daybreak,” was cancelled due to low ratings. Rumor has it that African-American women refused to support the series because Diggs’ love interest wasn’t black. Their lack of support was instrumental in the numbers being down and the show getting the boot.”
I remember when this came out in the blogs and thought, perhaps people of all races thought the show wasn’t any good and that’s why the show was cancelled. There’s no way a show can ride solely on black women’s like or dislike of a program. If that was the case, “The Game” would still be on the air.
That’s all I’m gonna say about this tired subject.
There’s no way a show can ride solely on black women’s like or dislike of a program.
Unless they’re speaking of every black woman on the planet, I don’t think we’re to blame for that show going south.
As for me, I don’t care about Taye Diggs or the colour of the woman he chose to marry. Least of my concerns at this point. I doubt he’s losing sleep over who the rest of us choose as partners, so why get worked up over him?
Hot father and adorable baby!
I love seeing proud papas with their children. 
Does this man really deserve all of this debate? He’s happy and obviously isn’t thinking about black women so why all of the hoopla over him and his issues? Lets move on. There are plenty of black men who still do love and desire black females in and outside of Hollywood. I think that BCK could do a better job of depicting that, if possible. Will and Jada, Denzel and Pauletta, Omar Epps and Keisha, Borris Kodjoe and that woman he married instead of me, Forrest Whitaker and Keisha W., all of these couples have kids that could be featured. There is plenty of black love out there. I just don’t think that this man deserves this many comments.
@Plainmean, I agree.
LOL. But true.
Cute kid. I can’t stand Taye Diggs though. Not cause his wife is white but cause of some statements that he made. I found them to be ignorant, limited, and intentionally negative towards Black women.
If you fall in love with someone of a different race, okay, but don’t turn around and start saying negative things about your own race or the women/men in your own race and don’t make it out to be “oh well women of my race didn’t want me” etc.
Also to the person who said Black women have never supported Taye Diggs, what planet are you living on? Outside of Rent, many of his earlier successes were in “Black” movies. Who do you think went to see The Best Man, The Wood, or How Stella Got Her Groove Back?
That’s right Jennifer and PlainMean.
YEs you can help who you love…the whole business about you cant help who you fall in love with is straight dog kaka. it is not a coincidence that you see people mate based on race, nationality, origin, creed or religion. There is an inherent need to be with like-minded people and people that closely resemble you. THerefore, white men choosing white women is no coincidence, asian men choosing asain women is no coincidence. black men choosing white women is not a coincidence. Taye obviously sought out a white woman so he married. am sure if he cared to seek out a black woman he could have fallen for her too. but thats not what he chose to do. dude has a major complex.
anyhoo…whether it be 2010 or 2070 i would always prefer to see a black man with a black woman any day!!!!!!!!! that is true beauty to me. I dont hate interracial but i dont prefer it. Black love all day!~~~~~
the logic for me is that white women have always been put on this pedestal, fed from a silver spoon and revered by all as the standard of beauty. while black women were the “nappy headed” mammies who were raped beaten, and treated like common cattle. Black men and black women have suffered together, pained together, walked the same path together, endured the same struggle together. Only a black man can TRULY know what a black woman has gone through and only a black woman can TRULY know waht a a black man has gone through. so in that sense seeing the interracial conjures a sense of betrayal in a way….sorta like how could we have walked together, suffered together,endured together but you chhoose her over me type of feeling….thats just how i see it.
Precisely. He chose the woman he wanted to marry, so I wish the rest of us would stop wasting valuable time and energy verbally beating him and every other black man (because I rarely see attacks on black women in the same kind of relationships on BCK)who’re with non-black partners. It’s just raising our blood pressure, and the men don’t care what we think about their spouses or why we think they married those women. There’s a proverb that states that you can take a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink. If he and other black men don’t want black women, then that’s their choice. It doesn’t affect me in any way, shape or form. I have enough things going on in my life worth losing sleep over to care about who some men pick as partners.
Plus, interracial marriages and/or hook-ups are the LEAST of the problems affecting black people on a global scale. We’d be better off fixing the major problems like the 70% out-of-wedlock birth rate in the States (it’s probably 80% out here), poor nutrition and sub-standard education for black children, domestic abuse, substance abuse, unreported and untreated mental health issues, crippling poverty and the mind-blowing rate at which black women appear to be contracting STDs/STIs, etc than railing at every black person who’s down for the swirl.
Leo, just lay it down why don’t you :-).
Taye Diggs is not paying my bills. If he married a black woman, neither would she….
Leo, maybe I can explain the reason why more black men come under fire than black women regarding IR. This is obviously my opinion.
A lot of black men use black women as an exscape for there “preference” for other women. I’m sure you’ve heard the countless brothers that blame black women for everything that has happened negatively in their lives, thus they seek out other women because somehow THEY represent complete womanhood and perfection. Black women who date out usually don’t slander black men. If anything, black women are the most loyal group of women on the planet when it comes to brothers. We can be beaten down, maligned, criticized, etc., and yet the faithfulness of many black women rivals that of a faithful pet (not compairing sisters to animals, just using an example). I’m only loyal to those loyal to me.
I am, however, very disturbed at the lack of unity amongst us. No other race has such conversations as these. Because I’m a black woman, I’d like to see us form more formitable bonds. I don’t have issues with IR relationships (my brother is married to a white woman), but I do love seeing my people (BM/BW) together. Just because one is pro-black, doesn’t mean they are anti-anything else. We tend to act like there aren’t any issues between BM and BW and we write it off. Actually, we really don’t give a dang. That, in itself, is very sad to me.
I don’t care about Taye or any other person who decides to fall in love, lust, or be colorstruck. If a black man doesn’t want me, I surely don’t want him so he can keep it moving, but we shouldn’t hide our heads in the sand pretending that there aren’t some serious issues between BM/BW. The problem again is many of us DON’T CARE.
Leo, those issues you mentioned are absolutely issues affecting us (btw, I’m not believing all the stats, but that’s another story), but if we can’t even come together as a people, how in the heck are we gonna address said issues?
Teri, the point that I got from Leo’s post is people are going to do what they want. Admonishing is like beating a dead horse so why waste time and energy.
Live your life and be happy is all I can say to anyone. Some things are not right, people’s motives and agendas at times are twisted and backwards, but unless they are responsible for my personal health and happiness, I personally have chosen to look past, around and beyond it. No sour grapes, but of half the black men I’ve seen with white women, they wouldn’t have been my first pick any way-lol.
Also, I second that there is indeed more to be concerned about than who someone is chosing to mate with. If Taye married a black woman, it wouldn’t necessarily increase my stock either way. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about the community, just decide to uplift in other ways than critiqueing or chastising some colorstruck “brotha”.
Hi GTSA, I got the point Leo was making. I’m not saying they shouldn’t do what they want, but to leave it at that is the lazy thing to do. If that were the thinking of Martin Luther King Jr. and other Civil Rights giants, they would’ve never taken the necessary steps to change the status quo. One of the reasons we discuss such issues is to impart a different way of thinking or another way of seeing things. Sometimes people do what they do because they don’t know any better. That’s why the process of discussion is so important. However, if one decides to not see another’s point of view, then it’s a mute point.
Apathy in our community is the reason we continue to go around and around in circles. It’s about me, myself, and I. With that mentality, I don’t hold out hope, especially with this generation, that things for us will move past the same ole tired subjects such as colorism and IR dating/marriage. It’s not even about wanting these black men, but I am concerned about the mindset in our race. It really hasn’t changed in over 400 years (as far as mentality).
This isn’t about Taye. Taye isn’t even on my radar, but isn’t it funny how these conversations get so many posts? I don’t critique nor deal with colorstruck brothers, but I will call them out when I see them.
Dont you think that 70% probability of out-of wedlock births may have something to do with the fact that alot of these wealthy, successful, educated black men who could go back into their communities and try to stabilize them but rather leave them for the “other white meat”, has something to do with that statistic??
My uncle when he was down an out in college and had no money was with a black woman for 4 years. soon he graduated harvard and became director of a major hospital, his wife just happened to be this fairy tale blond hair blue eyed trophy wife. the woman was nice but i felt this annoyance when he brought her home. why he couldnt have brought a sista home??? THese successful and educated black mean are leaving their communities and the sistas and thats not helping to improve that probability. so yes that makes it a problem. its not just taye diggs or celebs ordinary black men do this. reason i mention black men interrracially versus black women interracially is because black are 3 times more likely to marry interracially then black women are.
Again, that elephant in the room no one wants to talk about. Agreed, people should date who they like, but why is it that I have several black girlfriends, educated, attractive, decent jobs who aren’t settled yet and a number do not have children (waiting on marriage) also as I look around the big city I live in and particularly my area which is mixed, increasing number of black males with anything other than black when there doesn’t appear to be any shortage of attractive, educated black women with decent jobs?
The trend is not going to stop anytime soon I don’t think and I am again done with debating the preferenence or increasing prevalence. I DO KNOW that there are many men (not just black ones) who are open to LOVING a black woman. Also, many black men still can’t get enough (and I can see why, other black women need to see it too, realize all the many unique qualities they have to bring to the table) even as more are sampling other “brands”-lol.
“I DO KNOW that there are many men (not just black ones) who are open to LOVING a black woman. Also, many black men still can’t get enough (and I can see why, other black women need to see it too, realize all the many unique qualities they have to bring to the table) even as more are sampling other “brands”-lol.”
Ditto. And I just want to add that this argument has been around since before I was born, long before the OJs, Tayes, Tigers and Dennis Rodmans of the world - and I have yet to see any of those men and other like-mated men ’see the light’ and run back to black women. They don’t care if we’re pissed off; they’re minds are already made up. I’d rather focus on the ones who do love, appreciate and want to be with black women - and I’ve spent too much money and recovery time on my teeth to wear them down with all the gnashing over the ones that don’t.
Exactly Leo. There will always exist those few blacks who truly do not wish to be in a relationship with another black. Nothing you or I say will change their minds no matter how assinine and shallow there preferences/prejudices may seem.
When one is in touch with and appreciates what they have to offer and understands that there is or eventually will be someone out there who will appreciate and “get” them, one doesn’t really feel as threatened or bothered though one may still shake their head at preferences based on blatant self-hate or intra-racial prejudice. Thank goodness those kind of hang-ups are not the impetus for all interracial relations, but one would be naive to think it doesn’t exist…but no law is being broken, so…
Thank You Leo, that is all that I am saying. I am not “sweeping” anything under the rug. It’s one thing to go on about it on a blog that appeals mostly to black women but if we’re gonna “talk” (RANT) about it, then it should include everyone. A love life is different from the racial issues that have existed around the world and america. If YOU don’t love you, who will? When you’re in love you can be an example to the younger generation AND a problem to racists (insecure people) too but who cares about the negative- it is THEIR problem! @Issy, I can understand how it can be annoying to be labeled but so what that people don’t see you as an equal in your native country? Do you see yourself as valid enough? Because that’s all that matters. I stand by my comment that people need to grow up or shut the heck up. Some ppl marry “outside” because they don’t really have love for themselves. There are people who love someone outside of their race because they do love themselves so they’re able to accept everyone. No one has to prove they love who they are by staying with another black person, or white person. That ice cream example was weak. Try again. This is all coming from someone who prefers black men but that doesn’t make me feel blacker or like I’m being loyal. I just love black men!
“it is not a coincidence that you see people mate based on race, nationality, origin, creed or religion. There is an inherent need to be with like-minded people and people that closely resemble you.”
“Taye obviously sought out a white woman so he married. am sure if he cared to seek out a black woman he could have fallen for her too. but thats not what he chose to do. dude has a major complex.”
I see your point, but you almost I don’t see why it has to be all about skin-color. Taye didn’t “seek out a white woman.” He did exactly what you mentioned. He met a woman who was “like-minded” in his passions of all variations of performance (stage, film, music, etc). They are very similar in many ways except race. They started their careers in their early 20s on Off-Broadway with RENT that thrust them into mini celebrities when that show took off due to the tragedy that surrounded it. They were friends and family all rolled into one. Even to this day the Original Cast get together and stay in do reunions… all of them. So Taye and Idina falling in love and still being together almost 2 decades later says a lot about how matched they were.
So while I agree that people do seek out individuals who look like them, that shouldn’t be the first criteria in regards to relationships, IMO.
Thank You! Finally a grown up! I was the one who said I didn’t want this to be 80 comments but ended up feeding into trying to get ppl to see this point that it really doesnt matter. I hate to see bitter and ignorant women saying things like that, like they just KNOW what everyone is thinking and they dont. It makes us look bad as a sex & race. Im relieved to see someone who has the facts straight, the apparent ones atleast, who isn’t trying to dig all in his mind and base all of his views off of an honest/irresponsible (but not necessarily true) quote of his
@ Anonymous
the reason you notice so many comments on this post more than any other just proves just how much race is a hot topic in America. We can all pretend to be kumbaya by the campfire but the bottom line is there is still racial resentment in this country. Although racism is no longer blatant, it is still prevalent and subtle. So, its not being childish to address its called being REAL. Iam not gonna pretend we live in a world filled with rainbows and unicorns, and sugar coat the world to be something its not.
whether we admit it or not, race will always be an important part of our culture given our history and the history of this nation. RAce is a social construct and as long as we are part of society, this topic will continue for generations to come and i personally see nothing wrong with that. it is not cynicism but rather realism. It is what it is. I acknowledge that every man is equal and should have equal right but that doesnt mean i have to automatically 100% support interracial marriages over intraracial marriages. I can still acknowledge every man as equals but prefer to see a black man with a black woman…..personally, i see nothing wrong with that.
issy, I feel your post. People can try to ignore the elephant in the room all they like. It is indeed inherent (and born out by social scientists and those of that ilk) that it is in our nature as human beings to assimilate and affiliate with like/same/similar/familiar, whether it is truly “like/same/similar familiar” or just presumed…It is interesting the general eagerness or willingness I see with some blacks regarding interracial dating/mating, particularly the males. I have stopped caring why, and come to realize it truly is THEIR life, none of my biz–no matter that SOME truly do have underlying “issues” regarding how and why they choose certain mates as they do, but it is THEIR issues to work out. I digress and pay it not much mind as its kinda like invasion of the body snatchers at this point, more and more are getting on board with it for various reasons… I just accept the program and try to deal with my own life instead of admonishing one to think differently, dig deeper or whatever else, especially if their choices and preferences don’t directly impact me.
Also, the world is shrinking and class barriers increasingly broken, that tends to add a bit of a twist to the notion of identity and affiliation…I would gather that Tiger Woods has more in common with Elin his wife than Shaniqua from the ‘hood…so it depends, increasingly so…
Also, as you noted, blacks in the U.S. share a common history of struggle, sacrifice and might I add a myriad of triumphs among us. That said, I would like to think we are MORE than the struggle. Never forget it mind you, but time to move beyond it as part of our identity. We also can’t automatically assume that another will understand this just because we share a common history. Look at the black-on-black crime we continue to see in our innercity ‘hoods. You would think there would be more solidarity, but I have stopped anticipating it in some areas…
Will say that I still find comfort in the notion of the “familiar”, at times and being able to associate and affiliate with such and with a greater identity outside of myself, but at the same time being open to other.
@ Anonymous
I think we would actually do more harm than good by bypassing an each issue that is so deep-rooted in America. That is the problem today, Americans just want to brush things under the rug rather than deal with them and have an actual conversation about. That is the reason race is still an issue in America because it is taboo to speak of it and debate it. Well it shouldnt be. the best way to move past this issue because it cannot be resolved, is to start with having conversatioons about it, understand each other’s grievances and perhaps internalize them and learn from. THat is the grown-up thing to do, you cant change what you dont acknowledge. Moving away from the issue wont solve much
my parents are from the Dominican Republic….and in the DR, bringing home someone they would consider “puro negro” is total taboo. It is inbedded in young girls and boys that the lighter or closer to white is better. I am a black woman, black features, textured hair the whole nine yards but when i go to DR they call me morena or mulatta because that is the preferred. The point is, black cultures throughout the world face this problem of colorism…the problem of i need that damn-near-white or just simply white mate on my arms to validate me problem. Even if it is not an intentional problem, i am betting to say it is at least subconscious problem. Alot of my friends naturally gravitate towards lighter skinned or white even though they themselves are black because of their upbringing. In their household, white was good and black not so good so as they get older that is what their preference becomes. Preference is not necessarily something we intrisically choose for ourselves but rather a combination of external factors,subliminal cues, upbringing, environment and social interactions that predetermine what our preferences will be.
EXAMPLEE: My mother loved rum raisin ice cream when i was a kid…in the summers all she would buy was rum raisin ice cream and we would all indulge in it and we all developed an acquiired taste for it. Till this day, i go to the store and pick up rum raisin ice cream for myself. YEt, i dont like rum and i dislike raisin. I couldnt figure out why i kept going for it until i pieced it together. rum raisin ice cream was not my OWN RATIONAL CHOICE or preference but rather an acquired preference i had developed through my environment(mother) that has stuck till adulthood.
Who knows? Taye Diggs environment, upbringing etc could have easily facilitated what his subconscious preference in adulthood was. Let us not forgo the possibility that preference is not so much our OWN INDIVIDUAL RATIONAL CHOICE but rather excerpts of our environment.
but it really does not matter so much as the fact that, that is a cute baby nonetheless…but
…im just sayin
Beautifully stated. Thank you for sharing this, Issy. Have a great day! Rum raisin ice cream sounds sooo good!
I believe there are many black men AND black women who choose white mates because they are viewed as the ultimate validation. Society has taught us this. I have heard many black women talk about how beautful a pregnant woman’s child will be simply because one of the parents happens to be white. We are taught this at a very early age. But rather than acknowledge this fact, we spout nonsense about “just happening to fall in love with a white person”.
I agree and would add that African American men have an inferiority complex which carried over from slavery. They could do nothing when enslaved to stop White men from desecrating and disrespecting African American women during slavery so all they can do now to “get even” is to have White women.
It’s not always all good with interracial couplings. Many of them are living on section 8 and welfare and the Black men aren’t staying with other races in committed relationships, either. Remember O.J, or Barry Bonds?
I am aware of more low income IR couplings and offspring because of my work in social services as well as public education.
Why are some black women so fixated on the small percentage of black men who marry white women? The vast majority of married black men(92%)are married to black women. I really believe that SOME black women completely ignore this fact because it allows them to justify their desire to “explore their options” and pursue white men.
If u look through the pics posted on this site I’m sure u won’t find that 92% of the kids are black. IF I had to guess I would say at least half of them are mixed. These are the images that our children see on tv, in magazines etc. If a teenage boy thinks of his favourite black sports star, chances are he is not married to a black woman. This is why we care, because of the message it sends and the trend it sets.
The notion that people can’t help who they fall in love with is pure nonsense. People decide who they will open their hearts to and race is a huge factor. I know both black men and black women who completely exclude black people from their dating pool. They only date white. They are practicing a particularly sad form of self-hatred and try to justify it by denigrating their own people. Truly pathetic.
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND YOUR WIFE TAYE. I AM GLAD THAT YOUR LITTE GUY HAS BROUGHT YOU SO MUCH HAPPINESS. EVERYBODY DESERVES
A BIT OF SUNSHINE!
I agree with Maria- My son is dark skinned and he always gets told by black young ladies, that they don’t like dark skin guys. So what can you say. He’s a football player, and basketball player so you know what be on him, even now in highschool. So I can already see what’s going to happen in the futur- LOL. Oh well, dark skin people need love too.
He’s obviously interested in the wrong women. Perhaps he should involve himself with a different group of girls. Those who are more secure and openmined. Perhaps if you talk with him and find out what he’s looking for in girls.
What I fail to understand is why so many black women care what complete strangers do with their lives. Its not like any of you would have ever had a chance with Taye Diggs, so why does it bother you?
Where I live, most black men are with black women. Interracial relationships do exist, but they are definitely not the norm as some of you are implying. There are plenty of black men available out there who DO like black women, so why would you care about a complete stranger’s preference? Also, sometimes it has nothing to do with race. Even if a black man prefers a black woman, preferences do not end there. What if he doesn’t like your personality? What if he is not physically attracted to you even though you are black and he prefers black women? etc?
I am a dark skinned black woman and my first husband was a dark skinned black man. I got married at 19, had a son at 20, and got divorced at 22. I am now 43 and married to a wonderful white man and we have 2 biracial kids together. My oldest son who is 23 is engaged to an asian woman. GO figure!
I prefer white men, and judging from the girlfriends my boy has had over the years, he prefers asian and latin women. Does it bother me? NO! Its just a preference, its not racist.
Stop worrying about strangers. Love is love regardless of color, and I happen to have found love with a white man. Am I against dating black men? NO, but I prefer white men. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I am just more attracted to them, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I can’t help who I am attracted to.
Just how I was made fun of when I was a teenager for being tall and skinny with no boobs or butt, and most of the black boys preferred curvy women. Did I care that they prefer curvy women? No. Its just a preference, and I prefer white men.
People need to stop being so sensitive. There are preferences even within same race couples, are you going to be upset each time a black man dates a black girl with different features than you? If you’re short, are you going to be upset he prefers tall girls? If you’re fat, are you going to be upset he prefers thin girls? If you have small eyes, are you going to be upset he prefers girls with big eyes? etc etc etc.
Darlene, you make a lot of good points, but can I ask you, what is it you prefer about white men over black?
You would of course have to generalize, since we are all individuals of course(that is the problem I have with preferences, blanket assumptions get made). But it is ok if you do, I just want other insight or point of view. If you don’t wish to expound, that is ok to.
Good to see you found someone you love.
One has to understand the societies that these Black Men are living in. First..I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT LIVING THE LIFE OF A DARK SKIN BLACK PERSON IN THIS WORLD IS FAR WORSE THAN THE LIGHTER…Why don’t you bloggers understand that? Men like Taye prefer this woman basically because he wanted his child to have Euro features.It’s defintely a fact that these Dark men want a woman that is lighter than them.WHY? BECAUSE THE SOCITIES BRAINWASH DARK BLACK MEN TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE UGLY.GO To the Dominican Republic,India or some parts of the U.S especially.
TO PROVE IT…
GO TO YOUTUBE and watch “Race and Racism in Latin America: The Caribbean - 24 Jul 08.”
Right Maria, some of them have inferiority complexes because of their perceived lesser station in life than that of the White man. The White man in this country has a history (particularly during slavery) of abusing and exploiting the Black man’s woman any way they’ve wanted with the Black man being powerless to do anything against the White man for doing it.
All they can do now in recent history is have the White man’s woman. This makes them feel on par with White men. Men like Bryant Gumbel, Tiger Woods and I think even Michael Jordan had a White woman.
Even with having a lot of material wealth, they still seem to feel inferior to White men here in the United States.
@ Maria
De Donde Eres? Eres Latina, no??
soy de la republica dominicana y es la misma cosa con los negros oscuros….im from the dominican republic and its the same thing with the dark skin dominicans. first, they dont like it because people call them haitian because if you are dark in DR they tease you for looking haitian so many of them bleach or EXTRA straighten their hair to achieve that lustrous look. why do you think dominicans are the best at hair care and blowouts, at very young ages in DR parents take their kids to get blowouts to remove the kinkiness and make the hair straight. If you have professional career in DR like work in a bank, or corporation, especially tourism, the employers tell their employees to make sure their hair is straight and doesnt show nappiness. they will send you home if you come to work with nappy hair do. its a major problem.
which is why people like Sammmy sosa, Zoe Saldana, danny ortiz {all dominicans} as dark as they are back in DR they would not call them black they call them moreno or indio which basiacally is indian. Its a real shame in my country. last time i went and called my self black my grandmother almost fainted with shock….she was like am not black am mulatta. bbut in reality if you see me i would have to tell you am dominican or hispanic for you to guess. at the end of the day it doesnt matter where the slave shipped stopped through the world we are all in the same=—==Africans!
Just like many of the East Indians also straighten their hair. and as with every place else in the world, the lighter ones are the ones that are the most prized. But then among whites, I feel sorry for the ones who aren’t blonde. As they are the most prized among them. I have never seen a Swede who hasn’t been thought one of the most beautiful women in the world. I’m not a man, so I guess I miss what it is they see. But we are not the only people who are always trying to change ourselves to be that ideal of any group. It’s really pitiful. Although I am more concerned with our pride as a group, everyone has problems with the way they look.
I’m so happy to see people like Issy and others actually stating the facts and not ignoring the issue. The last time I made statements like these I upset everyone and was told off repeatedly and I had actually stopped posting for a while but I just had to comment on this post when I read the swirl thing lol. To Darlene and others if your ‘preference’ is solely based on the race of a person then to me that is racism. I think that in this day and age, if racism is so obsolete as many claim then why should anyone define their preference based on race only. My ‘preference’ is a good hardworking trustowrthy and loving man be he black, white, purple or blue (ok maybe not blue lol). This is an international problem. I’m sure many of you know that Jamaicans actually use chemicals to bleach their skin to look lighter and they are not the only ones. The reason we care what people like Taye do is because their images are the ones in the magazines and on tv that are children will see, reinforcing the concept that light is better than dark, white better than black etc. This is just a discussion but the point of it is so that we will realize that a problem exists and maybe just maybe we can influence the next generation and raise some kids who are proud and happy to be not only black but dark. Then they will not see the need to find a mate who can ‘dilute’ the blackness in their kids. Racisn still exists, no doubt about it but unfortunately now we are the culprits, being racist against ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these guys should say ‘I will only ever be with a black woman’ cause that is racist in a way too but love does come where u look for or allow it. I am black and dark and proud to be. Up to 2 yrs ago I had only ever dated black men. Then I met my current bf who happens to be indian. I was racist in a way cause I had never considered being with someone who was not black. He persued me and I found that I was just as attracted to him and that I really admired his qualities. It was difficult at first esp when pple stare at us cause as I said I am dark and my hair is in locks down on my back so I guess we make an odd couple but we love each other and that’s what’s important. However when I met him I could have said ‘no way’ and never know what we could have. So it works both ways.
I would just like to see us actually doing something about these difficulties we face instead of just talking about it or worse yet ignoring/denying it. I know that whatever my children are (when I have some lol) they will be proud to be it! That’s MY OPINION.
Uh, couldn’t very pale white people complain too? They’re not really the fantasy of every woman either! I’m sorry, but if someone is not keen on a very dark or a very pale skin, you cannot force someone to love it, let alone call it a problem, because there isn’t any answer anyway!
lol this is true
I personally know many black women who only date white men because they want “pretty babies”. They tell me that they want their children to have light skin and good hair. Let’s be honest. It is not only black men who have been brainwashed. We all have been.
Who said that ignorance was limited to only the male gender?
Cute kid. I know of Taye’s comments about black women so that probably colored my perception of his use of “swirl” celebrating the baby’s mixed background. He has colors issues but I also think he’s lucky to have found lasting love.
As for the issues against black women, I think we can start with.. oh I don’t know, not having a large majority of popular music and videos shown all over the world denigrating us. A little goes a long way. It often appears it’s cool to disrespect black women.
There’s a trickle down effect. Young black boys pick it up early, young black girls see it too. The media loves to play it up.
Just my two cents.
I have not been able to find anything Taye Diggs said about black women that is derogatory. Where is this coming from? It is like people are building facts out of rumors and lies.
Some of the commenters are making generalizations about black men that are really ignorant. Most black men do not want white women. Statistics show that 9 out of ten married black men are married to black women. It seems that when some black women see a black man with a white woman and they instantly multiply that by 1,000. If a black woman wants to pursue white men she should go for it. But don’t denigrate a whole race of men to justify your decision.
Thank you! It seems like the two who have sense on here are anonymous lol! These chicks are writing essays to cover up their insecurities smh. After a week this post might still grow but Im so done with lookin at it.
Who cares? This is one black man that white women can gladly have as far as I’m concerned.
I don’t care who he is with, his child is adorable. I’m still a fan of his. I actually love interracial relationships.
Interesting topic i am with a white men always dated them. I guess because i am adopted by a white women and a men that is white and native american mix. I remembered when i was younger i did not care what race i married until i got older. I liked black guys but there never seemed to be interested in me but my white friends. I am dark skinned by the way and i like being black but i nevered figured why these black man did not want to date me. Anyways i knew why because i was dark skinned not white or mix. Black men seemed to go out majority of the time with white or mix girls sorry but these so called black girls are not black there are almost white because there are mix with black and something else. My point is that i knew i was not wanted by black men and i was accepted by white men all the time i was there trophy
so i just date white men period now i have a son that is mix i would not mind if he married a black women like his mom i would be very happy. But if i had a daughter and she married a black men i would be pissed because black men like mix looking girls there used them i see it all the time. If she was too marry a mix guy like her self i would not mind at all. I do not have respect for black men at all there put black women down all the time why? i am so pissed all black women who are not wanted by black men should date outside their race period.Also black women should stop having kids with dead beat black dads have an abortion and make the communities better. I love the fact that black women are more likely to go to college and have better careers then black men so to all those black ladies keep up the good work.