Ohio woman jailed for wanting to send her kids to a better school [Newsnet5]

Documents detail messy split between Laura Govan(pictured) and Gilbert Arenas[WashingtonPost]

Check out the latest from Mama Guru[Mama Guru]

The “step” in stepfamilies still carries a stigma[BMK]

Ice T’s son arrested for indecent exposure [BVBlackspin]

Check out these Kimora in The Fab Lane Highlights and bonuses [Mystyle]

She is no longer a kid! Angela Simmons gets sexy for a premiere [MrsGrapevine]

Humor: Woman is suing P.Diddy $900 billion in child support and damages [RadarOnline]

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  1. Um, okay..why is Laura lookin all glamed up and her kids don’t? Like they just ran in from playing outside. She’s looking her best, so why aren’t her kids? It really gets under my skin when mothers are looking better than their kids. Meaning they took the effort to look great but not really caring if their children are too. I mean, it may just be an off day but I wouldn’t have this picture put out there if that was the case. My mother would of yelled to somebody, “Get me a brush to fix your hair and Whitney go put on some shoes!”. I’m just saying…

  2. Sometimes, a change can only occur outside the confines of an (unjust) law. Rosa Parks broke the law by not giving up her seat and going to the back up the bus. A significant number of slaves broke the law for learning to read and write. Harriet Tubman broke the law many times by running away and then by helping other slaves escape. Those participating in the Greensboro sit-in broke the law. The Freedomm Riders broke the law. If our forbears acted within the confines of unjust laws, we would not be here on this web site today. We would either still be slaves or trapped in apartheid.

    The design of the public education system is inherently flawed and unjust. If you look closely, you will see that it is still based on the Jim Crow principle.

    Watch ‘Changing Education Paradigms’ on YouTube.

  3. For anyone who is interested, there is a petition to have Ms. Williams-Bolar’s felony record expunged. Visit change.org to sign it!

  4. I love it when people say “Well, I did it, so everybody else should too.”

    If 99 people drop out, and 1 person graduates, we should assume that the environment and school don’t play a role at all b/c that one person graduated. The rest were just underachievers.

  5. @ C-Sassy “Additionally, we have laws in America and we must follow them. The rich pay way more taxes in their communities and that is why their schools are better. Schools are funded through the taxes people pay in their communities.”
    The rich pay way more taxes.

    Girl stop.. I had to laugh at that. The more I move up in ranks and connect with more
    weathly folks I realize how much they beat the system and pay way less in taxes in which the poor do not have the resources
    to do. And poor people do pay taxes in some shape of form when buying food, gas, and from W2 income. I know when I made
    18-20k back in the day. They were taking taxes from my checks.

    @ C-Sassy ” Just bc you go to bad schools, doesn’t mean you are destined to fail in life. Only you can determine where you land in life.”
    You sure would have a high rate of failure, realistically or going down the wrong path from bad schools. Just look
    at the inner city school. How many folks made it out or even graduated.

    I will not even knock the mother for at least caring enough to try to get her child education opportunities. At least she wanted a good education for her kid
    as some inner city parents don’t give a care in the world .

  6. I don’t think the issue is poor so much as it is ignorant of knowing the rules of the game. The reason I said that is because how many of us don’t know about legislation. Us losing the House and the Senate was a bad move for us but because we are not interested in the law we don’t vote and then things stay the same and then we complain. Our people had to fight for the right to vote yet how many of us don’t do it? We have as much blame in the treatment that the government gives the poor blacks and urban communities as the government does.

    I saw someone said that maybe some people are not as strong as others. In nature only the strong survive. Harsh but true. What do you think would be happening to those less strong people if the were living out in the wild with no government? People looking and or waiting for assistance is making them give up their will to make it on their own. To me it looks like we fight for equality just so we can become complacent. The more rights we have fought for a won, the less we seem to be achieving. It is almost if the powers that be sees this to so they give us just enough to keep us from fighting for me so they can take all of the fight out of us and because of this you have in the black community what you do now.

  7. I just find it funny, that every time someone posted their opinion on the situation regarding the mother from Ohio, c-sassy, jumped right on them. You don’t have to refute every single comment. I wonder what she’ll reply to my comment? smh

    My mother did the same thing this women did, and im glad she did. I still know parents who are currently doing the same with their children, and i wish them the best. Thank you mom, I love you :)

    • smh, people exploit loopholes as your mother did all the time and I don’t see anything wrong with that within the confines of the law. I am not sure how far this woman went in doing so, apparently it caught up with her.

      Let’s be real. The educational system needs to be fixed and the playing field leveled. Government won’t solve the issue, but certain laws need to be repealed or challenged because just because they are on the “books” doesn’t make it right or just.

      There is a lot at stake apparently at maintaining the status quo and how best to do that than to inact certain laws to keep certain folk out.

      That said, I still believe that the fight must be taken up within the confines of the law. We can’t all go around being vigilantes even if warranted at times.

  8. ddcms and C-sassy love the way you guys think. I could not agree with you all more. We need more like you. I know I maybe forgetting others but just because you are not mentioned doesn’t mean you are going unnoticed.

  9. Some education is better than none at all. Life is not about the hand you are dealt but how you play the one you have. My education was nothing like the one my kids are getting but I did well because I liked learning. I still do and my kids get it from me. They all love to read and all have been on the honor roll for as long as they have been in school. They go to good schools but do you think for an instance that all the kids that go to the schools’ do well? Just like they have kids that do well in bad schools they have kids that don’t do well in good ones. Having an education doesn’t mean that you will do well in life just like not having one doesn’t mean you will do bad. Their are a lot of people that have college degrees and still work menial jobs.

    If this had happened to a Caucasian woman would your opinion change at all? My kids are only a few of the blacks that attend their school yet my kids are always at the top of their class. Both of my older girls won the school spelling bee and they were the only black kids up there. Do you know how proud I am of them? I like C-sassy had to learn just because you have people that laugh and put you down when you want better doesn’t mean you have to believe them and give up. That is a load of bs. I have since learned that because I didn’t let them keep me down when they were laughing at me and thinking I couldn’t do it, they thought that they couldn’t and if they couldn’t I couldn’t. Their laughter was about them and not me. I am not them never have been and never will be. I don’t let my kids fall prey to that type of crap either. It is not what people tell you that matters it is what you believe that does. It is not what people call you that matters it is what you answer to that does. Stop making excuses. Just like someone said the school system could have tried a work around because at least the dad and her parents lived in the district they probably feel like she didn’t try so why should they. She wasn’t trying to work with them to help her kids she was trying to get over and it didn’t work out like she planned. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Her intentions were good but she went about it the wrong way. When you feel like someone is always trying to bring you down the last thing you want to do is to give them the ammunition to do it with.

    Success comes from the desire to do well. If you want it bad enough you will get it if you go about getting it the wrong way then it will get you. Where there is a will there is several ways. If you take the one within the law then you have nothing to worry about. Robbing a bank is a good way to get a lot of money fast but, what good is it if you always have to look over your shoulder because you are afraid sooner or later you will get caught? Just saying.

  10. The system clearly needs to be changed so that people are not forced to estreems such as this mother. I feel for her. The playing field is hardly level. At the same time, I wish she could have found a way to bridge the divide within the confines of the law.

    That said, people exploit loopholes all the times. I believe she thought she found a legitimate one or at least one she could fudge without any major repurcussions. Maybe not though through well enough?

    For those applauding the rich, how do you think some of them got there? Yes, many through hard work and determination, but don’t be naive, Loopholes have been exploited by a few as well and the lines between legal and illegal have been grey.

    My bottom line opinion is the punishment was too harsh for the crime. She should not have been handed a felony conviction, nor jailed. Yes, she should have been tried and perhaps given probation and sentenced to doing community service. I believe that would have been enough of a wake-up call and a slap on the wrist.

    The debate here has been interesting. Great insight on both sides of the coins and particularly enjoyed reading NKs and C-Sassy’s opposing takes.

  11. I really do think it is unfortunate that this Akron mother is in this situation but all I can say is she knew what she was getting herself into. I hope she is given a chance but if she isn’t I can totally understand at the end of the day all she wanted was a better education for her kids,but look at the position she put her kids and herself in.):

  12. I don’t know how I stumbled onto this thread, but the conversation has been thrilling to read. I agree with C-Sassy 100%. I am speaking as both a parent and a tax payer. The foundation of good schools is good homes. Show me a “good school” and I’ll show you an enthusiastic and vigilant parent support system. Always. We all need to wake up and realize that we are responsible for our own choices and our own children. Not the government. The achievement CHASM that currently exists between black and white students could be dramatically narrowed and ultimately closed if every black parent had a by any means necessary mentality about the education of their children.
    P.S. That doesn’t mean sneaking into another school system.

  13. I know someone said we have no compassion. I have to say if she didn’t make the wrong choice she would not have gotten unfairly sentenced. Doing the right thing by your children by doing the wrong thing doesn’t make it any less wrong. I think her kids can still benefit from this situation. It is called being responsible for the choices we choose to make. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. She could have tried to go to the school board and getting them to make an exception because her kids dad lived in the county. However she choice to falsify documents.

    • I don’t think anyone is disputing whether she did right or wrong. She did wrong, that’s without question. I think everyone had good points. Anyway, I just hope that this country gets serious about reforming our educational system.

  14. I applaud the woman in Ohio who did what she felt she had to do to provide her children with the best education possible. I faced that situation myself and if I wasn’t so involved with politics myself and didn’t know the right avenues to take or who to call my children would had been stuck in the same low performing school as well. I hear people arguing about vouchers and etc… not every state has those. I live in Maryland and have seen some horrible schools that I would never want to send my kids to and shouldn’t have to. That woman didn’t not deserve to go to jail and the sentence was excessive. Some schools in Baltimore, Maryland have no books, heat, and etc… How do you expect children to learn in those type of environments? And I’m sure the mother also worked with her daughter’s at home but sometimes that isn’t enough. As a single parent it’s hard working, going to school and etc… I give this woman every benefit of the doubt because I don’t live her life and I don’t know her day to day struggles. I hate to admit this but it’s hard out here for everyone and unfortunately those who live in area where the demographics of the community is mostly low income are more then likely to have low performing schools. My mother sent me to another school in another district using her mother’s address and I’m thankful for that. I had to send my kids to a school out of there district and I fought hard. I called politicians, the newspapers, and the news to get my children out of their low performing school. And it was hard but they were put into a district where the parents were more involved, the teacher’s seemed to care more and were more highly trained. But until you’ve been in that woman’s shoes, please refrain from judging her. I really believe in my heart that she was trying to help her children. Oh and to the person who said what kind of example was she setting for her children. I feel that she set the example that no matter what you may be faced with, when there’s a will, there is a way. It’s ok for politicians to take our money and waste it but it’s not ok for a mother to cross the district lines, in a district where her father pays taxes for her children to attend a school. We need to pray for our nation when parents feel they have to make sacrifices as these just so their children may have the same opportunities as others.

    • @Steffie, I hear what you are saying and I don’t think that the woman meant to cause this type of trouble in her life. But the way she went about this was wrong. She actually created more problems for herself now. She fought the law and the law won. The courts will ALWAYS be more harsh on minorities, so why make it easier for them by breaking the laws and rules. The rich paid for their schools to be good and the poor can’t do the same. It is sad but nothing will ever be done about it. I am really tired of everyone waiting on “Superman” to come and solve the issue of low performing schools. The truth is, that even if the government gave all schools everything they needed, there will always be bad schools because there are bad teachers, bad parents, and bad students. This country has never been fair, so I don’t know why people are expecting it to be perfect now.

  15. What that woman did was wrong. Whether she wants to sugarcoat it or not, she shouldn’t have broke the law. I see kids from bad schools come out just fine, and I’ve seen kids from really good ones turn out pretty bad. It really depends on the child, how they are raised, and how involved the parents are. If you know you want your kids to be in top notch schools, don’t have them until you know you can afford to send them to a private school (if that’s what it comes down to). People in richer neighborhoods pay more taxes so the schools are going to be better anyway. (Personally, I don’t agree with my taxes going to support other people’s kids since I don’t have any, but that’s another story for another day).Like c-sassy said, you make the best out of the situation you’ve got and do what you need do to secure a bright future for yourself.

    @c-sassy – I applaud you on everything you have achieved. I came from a similar situation and I did just fine. However, I did get into some trouble with the law as a teenager so the correlation that having a criminal record = no successful future tends to hold people down who may have made one single mistake in their youth. (Again, another subject for another day). Anyway, I have three degrees myself, working on number four (PhD in criminal justice) have good credit, own a home, and pay taxes, so I think I turned out okay.

      • ‘ell no. If i had to describe where I stand politically it would be independent. I’m pro choice, support (some but not all) social programs, and am against the death penalty. I just have strong feelings about people being responsible for their own offspring and where most of my tax dollars go.

        • ddcms, you hold some interesting views. Your political views can’t easily be pegged. Have to say who knows where really the lines between Democrats and Republicans are truly drawn?

          Just remember though, that kid over their, could grow up to be the teacher to your child or Dr. to you in old age. Food for thought.

          • I’m not anti-child. Don’t get me wrong. I just would like to see more responsibilities put on the people who chose to have them — especially those who keep having them knowing they couldn’t afford the first one. My major issue with paying school taxes is that (a) our schools are in shambles, (b) the school district can never account for the funds they receive, and (c) too many instances of higher-ups taking the funds and spending it on personal items for themselves. I have no problem with tax dollars supporting literacy or after-school programs, and I don’t mind chipping in money for scholarships for college students who can’t afford to go otherwise. I’m just not a fan of government benefits (welfare, public housing, etc.) when they exceed a couple of years. In my opinion, it just puts a temporary band-aid on the problem, but never solves it. I’d be more inclined to be more supportive of said programs if they had across-the-board eligibility standards for everyone.

          • @ ddcms, thanks for clarifying. I understand more clearly your point of view and some of the things you have pointed out make perfect sense.

  16. Like I mentioned I know it is not impossible to rise through the obstacles to still be able to achieve higher goals, but that doesn’t erase the multitude of obstacles and disadvantages that are present in some communities over others. The quality of a school’s education shouldn’t rest upon how much money the residents are paying in taxes. Just that in itself is a huge injustice. If a district is not getting enough money from the taxes to fund the same quality education that public schools offer in districts with more money, then since the government of this country believes no child should be left behind, then there should be measures to correct the flaws that exist and offer more funding and make it a desireable environment for teachers to do their jobs well in all schools. I mean, we live in a society where many veterans of war for this country are left homeless! There’s a lot wrong with “the system” and it is deliberate! I believe that if it were as simple for everyone as C-Sassy has described for her own life, we would see it happening on a much larger scale for the poorer people. No-one WANTS to fail in life. The influences around us from infancy contribute to who we become – how hard or how little we strive. This includes not only our families and peers, but also our teachers and the environments at schools. I am 28 – after I graduated from high school, I was so ignorant of the resources available out there to me that I didn’t even enter college until after I was married with a child several years later. My mother said she couldn’t afford to take out any student loans for me. At the time I didn’t know I could take out my own loans or that a community college cost far less than a private or state college or university, and I honestly felt like I had no other options to go to the college I had chosen because the grants would not cover the cost. The high school I graduated from was a charter school! The district was not a good one however, high violence, poor people. I was young and very inexperienced, after having lived in the Caribbean for most of my teenage years and being sheltered so much by my family – there were college counselors supposedly, but I had NO clue of my options! I felt my goals were out of reach. Why is that? Why did no-one care enough to make sure that I knew all my options and steer me in a positive direction? When I didn’t win any scholarships, I thought it was all over for me. And when I went back the following school year to visit my old teachers, they were GONE! Even the principal was gone…they had fulfilled a stepping stone and were moving on in their career goals to better schools. I don’t blame any of this as a single reason why I didn’t get to go to college right when I wanted to, but the downfalls are there and it has an impact on people’s lives.

    I can’t change anyone else’s opinions, and I leave off with respect for the contributing viewpoints. It has been a very interesting discussion.

    • Very well stated! You’re correct. It’s easy to say “I made it, so you should [be quiet] and stop crying.” We’re not saying that people cannot make it out of poor circumstances, but the inequalities are there and they DO affect us. Yes, things should start at home, but damn, my mom had me at 16 and she didn’t finish high school so who was supposed to teach me? She couldn’t because she was ignorant herself. There are many kids in that same situation. Our schools should be the equalizer. Our kids are graduating without reading on grade level; they’re eliminating the arts; teachers don’t care and are afraid of students; they don’t have the materials they need; etc. Anyone who says that this is not an injustice, and that it doesn’t contribute to keeping us down, is plain blind!

  17. If the education system was so simple as many of you have suggested, then why is President Obama, and others calling to change the way the public education system is? A white girl that attends a public grammar school in a nice suburb will receive a better education than a black or latino boy growing up in a crime infested area, both children deserve the same education.

    • Obama will not change the public school system. There will always be low performing schools. The problem isn’t schools. The problem starts at home. Many kids come to schools from dsyfunctional homes and bring those problems to the classrooms and that is why they can’t focus on their school work. Stop waiting on the government, otherwise you will be waiting alongtime.

      Yes, all kids are should get the same quality education as others but will they? No! The government has NEVER done anything for the poor but given them a Link card and low cost public housing. So why now do yall think something will change? It will never change. The only thing you can do as a parent, is to look for other options; magnet schools, charter schools in your area, home school, and supplement your kids education with outside resources. To break the cycle you have to better your own life! The government will not help you. Go to college or the military and get a career that you can support your family with. That is the only way out, through higher education. And it an be done.

  18. Damn, some of you all don’t have compassion for other people. I went to private schools from K-12, and I still understand where the woman from Ohio is coming from in regards to trying to get her children a better education. Yes, America is full of oppurtunities, but everyone does not have the same opportunities as other people in this country. Some of you all need to get off your high horses, and come back down to reality!

    • @Peg, I understand why she did it and of course the courts were too harsh on her. But she should have known better. The Courts system is ALWAYS harder on Black people. Why is everyone so shocked that this has happened? She went about this the wrong way,unfortunately. They gave her options before going to court and she turned them all down. So, she chose to fight the Law and the Law won.

      Additionally, I don’t live on a high horse. I live reality EVERYDAY! When you are African American, you live reality on a daily basis, regardless of your income level. I just dislike it when ppl want to blame the government for their own mishaps in life. I was born poor, we lived out of thrift stores, emotionally abused by my mother, and lived in food pantries, so don’t tell me that I live on a high horse. I just would like for Blacks to stop thinking that the government will rescue them when clearly, it will NEVER happen. All the government is going to do for a poor person is give them a Link card and low cost public housing. And that’s it! I came from the same circumstances as poor kids today and I am telling them that you CAN make it out the ghetto. Just bc you go to a bad school, doesn’t mean that you are a failure or not worthy.

      I think parents need to take a more key role in their kids life. Parents blame public schools and teachers way too much. It start @ home. There are some good city public schools; magnet, charter, voucher schools, homeschool options. But if your child school is bad, you as a parent can supplement their education. Take them to museums, read to them, have them write essays, buy them books to read. Encourage them to pursue a higher education & get a career, its the only way to improve your crcumstances in life!

    • I’m sitting high on a hosre bc I chose to not fall prey to the main things that hold low income people back in life? I’m on a high horse bc I chose to utilze financial aid & work FT jobs to pay my way through college? You are UNREAL.

      You are mistaken that we all don’t have the same opportunities in life. I came from a very poor background and attended bad schools. But I chose NOT to repeat the cycle. The same can be done for anyone else that really want it bad enough. So don’t even tell me that stuff about we all don’t have the same opportunities in America crap, bc we do!

  19. Thanks Larnelia! I know you like it that I don’t have kids yet. LOL! I know ppl don’t get what you mean all the time, but I hear you.

  20. That lady, who is suing Sean Combs for $900 million, either has a serious drug problem or she has serious mental health issues. Can’t believe a lawyer would seriously take her case. She should be mentally evaluated (along with her lawyer) because her claims are *way* out there!

  21. “According to Turks, the 41-year-old, along with his ex-girlfriend Kim Porter and LAPD brutality victim Rodney King, is responsible for the collapse of the World Trade Center amongst other outrageous alleged atrocities.


    She alleges that she has been subjected to abuse from 2001 – 2010 and that: “[Diddy] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the WTC and then they all came and knocked my children down. Set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. he put my baby in a wheelchair.””

    And I thought the Birthers were batshiggity. O_O Someone get this woman some help, please!

  22. The woman who was jailed in Ohio did not deserve that at all. Some say she does because she broke the law regarding falsifying their residency and then not agreeing to pay the back taxes or tuition for attending, YET the real problem is that the rich communities have better resources in their schools to give the students a better public education, and the poorer communities have to settle for the bare minimum with schools that are mostly not meeting the state standards. I live in Ohio, I am somewhat familiar with how poorly some of the school districts are doing in the poorer communities. Her choice was for the betterment of her children, and I don’t blame her one bit. The system is what’s screwed up and unfair, and that’s just not going to change. This is supposed to be a land of equal opportunity. Yet it is a land of corruption and the powerful looking out for their own and trying to keep the middle- and lower- classes down. Also the judge blatantly said in the courtroom that she must impose the punishment here to show others they cannot get away with the same thing – the mother was just being punished as an example to others and that was unfair to her and her children. Real criminals have sometimes walked without any jail time for drug dealing or drug use, driving while intoxicated, etc. I am very disappointed in the punishment.

    • I disagree with your statement. Just because you are born poor doesn’t mean that you can’t overcome your circumstances and blame rich people bc the poor chose to not improve their lives. I grew up poor; lived in the projects for most of my childhood and attended not so great elementary and high school. I hated that I was poor, the schools I had to attend, and my nrighborhood. So guess what? I chose not to do drugs, not to have kids until I was in a position to afford kids and graduated from high school. After that, I went on to college and got a undergrad degree, graduate dregree and a career. Alot of poor kids chose not to do that and they want to repeat the cycle their poor parents did. We have options in America but some ppl chose to NOT utilize them. I worked fulltime to put myself through college and went to school at night. Many ppl chose to not be patient, they want the fast life and that life never pay off. Please don’t blame the rich for being rich.

      • I think you’re both right to an extent! C-Sassy, my background sounds pretty much similar to yours, but I think we still have to acknowledge the disadvantages in our community and between the poor and rich. It’s a cycle, and not everyone has the resources at home to break that cycle, it’s even worse when the schools also lack the resources. You shouldn’t have to pay 800-1k a month to a Montessori or private school to get a good education in this country. The state of some of these public schools serves a huge disservice to the middle and lower classes, while contributing to holding us back.

        • @Plainmean, I like you but I have to disagree with you. I don’t believe schools can hold anyone back. Even if you attend a bad school, you can still be successful in life. I agree that most public schools are bad and the government is unfair but how long will we use that as an excuse. Parents, their are magnet, charter, school vouchers out there. Alot of poor kids come from bad and dysfunctional homes. The problem starts at home, the home life. I think that even if the Gov. gave schools everything they wanted, there would still be bad schools, bad parents and bad students- in poor neighborhoods. Lack of parental involvement, parents on drugs or in jail, or parents that just don’t care or can’t be involved in their kids education. We can’t continue to blame the government & schools for all our problems. Some of the problems are self created and ppl later regret them.

          I refuse to blame schools and teachers bc I made it out and looking back on it, it wasnt that hard to do. Apply for financial aid and work a FT job, to attend college or go to the military. I don’t have kids yet, but when I do, I plan to enroll them in a good Chicago Public magnet school and be involved in their education bc I refuse to to spend money on a private school.

          • I can’t help but mention this because it is a pet peeve of mine. Many people may not realize it, but “alot” is not a word. “Allot’ is a word but I don’t think this is what you mean in the context of your sentences. It is alright to write “A lot” as a phrase meaning a large portion. After all, you wouldn’t write “alittle”. 😉 Hopefully other people who make this similar mistake will stumble upon this comment.

            “Alongtime” also is not a word…(forgive me if this was actually a space bar error) I’m starting to read most of the comments.

            I like your point of view although I do not agree fully. I don’t think this act was so severe as to warrant a felony, but I agree on taking advantage of opportunities for higher education. For many people I know, being with the right crowd, graduating from high school, and getting a full time job still does not allow them to go to a nice college or college in general. There are a lot more obstacles and temptations to resist for people living in certain areas. I wish things were as simple as you say and more people could make it to what you have achieved, but sometimes real life slows you down. The best thing is of course to keep moving forward until you reach where you want to be.

          • @Sarah, do you think I didn’t have obstacles and temptations, coming from where I came from? Other people that have made it out had obstacles as well. I definitely had obstacles and temptations, but you have to be strong and stay focus on your goals in life. Otherwise, how do you expect to get out. What you have just described to me,sounds like lazy people. “I have obstables” “there’s too many temptations in my life”, well of course, temptation and obstacles is in everyone’s daily life.

            Using the government and your current state isn’t an excuse anymore. The government and rich people don’t care about your kids education. This is an argument that has been going on way too long now, and I am just sick of hearing it. Oh well, just cry me a river, because no one cares! I hate to sound harsh but that is the truth. The Government has only given poor people a food card and public housing-that’s it! Poor people have to wake up,stop complaining and help improve their own circumstances. The government can’t solve everyone problems. Welfare, Food cards, free lunch and breakfast programs, work and technical training programs, after school prgrams, etc. What else do people want? Solving this issue starts at home and with people making better life decisions. If a child want to be successful, then they will do just that, regardless of obstacles and temptations.

          • No Mrs. Williams-Bolar did not deserve the harsh punishment she received.She doesn’t live in that suburban neighborhood full time,but the children’s maternal grandparents do.So the school still should be able to find some way to accommodate her without charging her a fee which she obviously cannot afford.And how can anyone say that it’s fair for her to be treated this way,while the real criminals, predators,rapists,robbers and other dangerous thugs,are being let out on parole and released back into society.Our justice system totally has their priorities screwed up.This woman may have falsified some things on her daughters school applications,but she isn’t a threat to anyone’s safety.

            There may be some urban parents who are not doing their job,and who are not as involved in their children’s lives as they should be.There are some urban people who aren’t doing anything to improve their own lives.But Mrs. Williams-Bolar is clearly a very involved mother who is trying to do right by her daughters and make sure they are safe and that they get a proper education.We don’t know for sure whether there are charter schools in the part of Akron where she and her family live.Maybe there aren’t any in her immediate area.
            The grandparents probably talked with her very often about the school in their neighborhood and how it is top-notch.They must have urged her to use their address in order to send her daughters there.And that’s what she did.Mrs. Williams-Bolar is also trying to better herself by working as a teacher’s aide and studying to become a teacher.So she is not contributing to the problems in her neighborhood.She is trying to make a difference and be part of the solution.But first she is trying to make a difference in hers and her daughters lives.

            The school officials should have just sat her down and told her what her options were besides paying a fee,and then give her the opportunity to correct the situation by moving her kids in with the grandparents,and/or letting the grandparents have joint custody or something like that.Then that would make her children’s school documents legit.As it is,the daughters are currently living with their grandparents while the mother is in jail.She will probably have to let them remain there even after she is released so that they can continue attending the Copley school.

          • @JBORANGE, I agree with you in that the punishment was harsh. But please be realistic. We all know as African Americans, that the court system is twice as hard on us than they are with any other other ethnic group. Equality has never existed in this country and I am trying to get ppl to see that it will never exist. They really don’t even want us here, they just tolerate Blacks and Latinos. The government has never helped the poor out;beside housing & a food card. So why are you expecting that they will provide good schools to the poor and fair judicial treatment to minorities in 2011? It has never happened and won’t start now.

          • OK C-Sassy, I just have to interject. I hate to hear about people like you that garner a little success then turn around & preach the “pick yourself up by the boot straps” sermon. It’s ridiculously judgmental, self-righteous, & condescending. HER father lived in the schools district, & she felt her children had a right to that level of education.

            Telling people about charter schools….smdh. YOU have children & come that close to giving them what you feel is an opportunity at a superior education and see what YOU do.

            America loves to blow that “work hard” sunshine up our butts, when the truth is this country was built on seized opportunities that were often shady & unethical. She seized her opportunity for her children. Get off it C-Sassy!!

          • @C-Sassy Can you try not to misinterpret my words then twist them for your argument? I didn’t question what obstacles you may have faced; of course everyone has obstacles. Did you choose to ignore or misinterpret my last few sentences? I said real life “slows you down” but you have to “keep moving forward until you reach where you want to be”. Is that not almost the same argument as “you have to be strong and stay focus[ed] on your goals in life”? I never said anything about people giving up, but merely being slowed down. Not once did I intend to imply that people used obstacles and temptations as an excuse for why they can’t succeed, so they quit. What I was saying was that these things exist in general. These are what slow people down, but they have to overcome them. My argument could likely have been in support of your argument but you are so egocentrically focused in a negative way. You could just as easily have said “I agree that there are obstacles and temptations but as you said, you can’t let that slow you down or use it as an excuse. You have to be strong and stay focus[ed] on your goals in life.” No need to attack and get so defensive. I completely understand what you mean and think it has merit.

            I think your approach is rather pessimistic regarding the government. I personally don’t know all the figures and facts about what the government does or not so I cannot make a sound argument for or against it. I do think it is not fair to say that the govenment can’t help. They did supply vouchers, cards, that other stuff you mentioned, and can pay for part of your college education. I fully agree that most of the work has to come from yourself and hopefully a strong upbringing with the right goals in mind. (response to your last couple of sentences)

            It is not necessary to respond to this post (the first few questions were very much rhetorical). The subject is exhausted so now it’s back to homework.

    • Additionally, we have laws in America and we must follow them. The rich pay way more taxes in their communities and that is why their schools are better. Schools are funded through the taxes people pay in their communities. The poor don’t pay alot of taxes so their schools suck. It isn’t fair for people to break the laws and enroll their kids in schools where they don’t pay taxes. That woman life is ruined now bc she didn’t obey the law and it is all her fault. I know she meant well but I am sure that Ohio have charter schools or magnet schools in her area that she could have enrolled her daughters into. What is she teaching her kids, to ignore the laws and do what you want? I know life isn’t fair, but that is why we must break the cycle of being poor; meaning stop using and selling drugs, stop having kids that you cannot financially support and provide a better live for, go to college and gain a career, and don’t get a criminal record. Just bc you go to bad schools, doesn’t mean you are destined to fail in life. Only you can determine where you land in life.

    • I know in Ohio they have charter and magnet schools?? She could have chose those schools as options for her kids. OR she could have chose to repay the money or tuition to the district. She chos not to do either, and she wanted to fight it out in court and now she has a criminal record, lost her job, her kids got kicked out the school district, she also got kicked out of college and may never be able to teach. Was it even worth it? I don’t think so.

      • Yes there are ways that those born into less fortunate conditions can rise to get ahead…but look at reality, are those opportunities and that can of optimism existing for the majority of those who need it? No. It is VERY true that the schools in the richer communities are better…my children used to attend a public charter school right here in Ohio (I now homeschool all 4 of my school-agers) and I had a very constant communication with their teachers, and one teacher told me directly that every teacher’s hope is to get into one of the schools in the richer districts. She gave me the stats on the schools in the district we were in compared to some richer districts…the schools with the big money get the good stuff and the good teachers. Many teachers who are placed in the poorer districts do not want to be there period, but are just trying to reach their goals. In the poor communities is where you’ll find all the junk food chains and corner stores with nice deals on some alcohol and cigarettes, run-down looking and just dismaying…people aren’t motivated! I don’t blame it entirely on how society is set up, but it is DEFINITELY a huge factor in the people not uniting for better. Not that you won’t find junk food and alcohol in rich communities, but it is not the same. It doesn’t look all run-down, you find more positive small businesses and the people are ambitious. I am a believer in the New World Order plan, and so many things are all intertwined, from media to entertainment, what’s in the food to education…keeping dumb people dumb, enslaved when they don’t even know it. As a mother, I decided that the schools in our district were not good enough, and I pulled them out. Also for other reasons reagrding our religious values and trying to shelter them from the overwhleming negative influence of evil amongst the society, but I decided to take control of their education. And this mother did the same – she wanted better for them. Obviously she is struggling to live elsewhere – I’ve walked that road, it takes a lot of time and perseverance to get out, but at the cost of her children’s education? The school system should be equal, period. What happened to “no child left behind?” It’s not working.

        • Na’eema, as I stated before, I grew up poor and attending bad schools, my mom was a single mother of five kids, we lived on welfare, we shopped out of thrift stores and went to food pantries. But guess what??? I made it out. Seeing what my mom struggled with made me want to choose a different path. I am not saying that it was easy. The H.S I went to had gangs, violence, drugs, drop outs and girls getting pregnant right to left. We started out w/ 400 kids and only graduated 80. Bc I didn’t do none of that, I was a nerd bc I went to class. I wasn’t the best dressed either. But, I said to myself, I’m going to college to improve my life and I did that. I got three degrees, all that I paid for from working a FT job during the day and attending college @night. I missed out on clubing and BF’s bc I wanted to get out of poverty.

          Today, I am 29years old w/ a career and living good. You have to scarfice in life. I think ppl make poor choices/bad decisions and then want to point fingers. I know that some schools are bad and the government isn’t fair. But in 2011, tell you children that they can still make it out if they work hard and stay away from the peer pressure that exist. I went through EVERYTHING a poor kid is going through now. But regardless of their circumstances, if they want to be a success, then they will do it regardless.

      • Preach C-sassy. America is the land of opportunity. The black communities can do better but we focus on wearing our wealth on our backs and get upset when people like Bill Cosby call them out what can you say? We focus on all the wrong things and then try and blame our problems on others instead of owning them and working to fix them. Yes they have people that prey on people that are less fortunate. However if we would all stick together and stand up for our rights like we use to when we felt like we had something to fight for things would not be the way they are. It is not the situation that you are placed in that makes you but the way you choose to handle it. I grew up and had lots of dreams and my family would laugh at me and I have to say I am doing better than all of them now.

        Na’eema you have a point but it is a right way and a wrong way to do things and she chose to do it the wrong way. The question is what is that teaching her kids? I can understand her wanting better for her kids. What I don’t understand is why she chose to go about it in this manner. In the end she did more harm to them than good. We all have choices when children are involved we have to make the best possible decisions for them and sadly the one she made wasn’t. If she didn’t think the schools in her area were good enough she could have gotten home school materials and worked with them after school. I am just saying. She made her choice and now she is paying for it.

        • Thank you Maryamb. I wasn’t trying to be mean to the woman. I understand what it is like to grow up poor. My mom was on welfare, we lived in public housing, single mother-my mom was. I looked at that as a child and HATED it! I knew I had to NOT take the route my mom chose. I love my mom to death and she was a good mother but I refuse to have kids until I am ready. I don’t have kids but many of my friends do and they struggle and get mad at the world. But they chose to not have kids until they could afford them and their cicumstances were better. Poverty is a cycle that can be broken. I am a example of that. Because of that, I don’t like to hear that it is impossible in 2011 to not be successful.

          My brother laughed at me when I said Im attending college. Now, I have three college degrees and a career and he don’t even have a high school diploma, multiple kids with various women and has no work history. Life is about choices. Graduate from college, get a career, don’t have kids until you are ready financially (bc kids cost), do use drugs and don’t get a criminal record. it isn’t that hard. You have to not listen to peer pressure, be strong and have self esteem to stay away from bad. You CAN make it out.

      • As far as the crazy lady suing Diddy, I think the lawyer took the case for publicity and

        Laura Govan needs her butt whipped. How is she going to sit up and say she was upset because Gilbert wouldn’t spring for a nanny. What kind of foolishness? He said we take care of our own kids. I have to say I don’t see a damn thing wrong with that. She seems like a piece of work and we all know he crazy as hell. I feel sorry for those kids. SMDH Some people really should not have kids.

    • The punishment didn’t fit the crime. They charged her with a felony. The school claimed that she owed them about $30,000 in ‘out of area’ tuition. Yet, the kids spent half their time living with their father, who resides in that school district?! So, why does she owe them $30,000? I don’t agree with her falsifying official documents (was wrong) but I also don’t agree that she should be charged as a felon. How is she supposed to get a job now and support her daughters with a felony conviction? The school also said that she wasn’t the only one caught lying but, yet, she was the only one charged with a felony. Expecting her to pay $30,000, knowing her circumstances and the fact that her kids lived part of the time in that school district, is just wrong.

      She was trying to give her daughters a better education. The system is designed so that poor kids automatically receive an inferior education. The quality of public education is tied to the tax base, so schools in poor districts get little money and resources. They are at a disadvantage every step of the way. Computer knowledge is a requirement for most jobs. The rich schools get computers (in some classes, at every desk); the poor schools are lucky if they have even one (usually old). How is this fair and equal?

      Ages ago, slaves were killed or maimed for getting caught for learning how to read and write. This woman’s case is no different. She hasn’t been physically killed or maimed for wanting a better education for her children but her spirit probably has.

      • Why are you whinning and crying about this??? Sure the government isn’t fair and the poor get the worst bc they ARE poor? No one said that life was fair. And it certainly isn’t equal, otherwise we wouldn’t have racism and there would be no such thing as lower, middle or upper class system. Do you really think the government is about to change now for you? All the government is going to give you is a link card and public housing. The government doesn’t care about you or your kids. You must provide a decent education for your kids. Supplement your kids education by reading to them, buying them books, making write, have them write their multiplication problems, taking them to museums etc. That’s what my mom did. I wnet to bad schools all my life. But I was determine to succeed in life and NOT repeat the poverty cycle. Through financial aid and working a Full Time job (I also lived on my own and paid rent), I graduate with a BA & MS. Anyone can do it, if they want it bad enough.

        So what do you think must happen in order for you to be successful? You must graduate from H.S, college(or Military) & get a good career. This isn’t impossible to do! Heck, I grew up poor and made it out. Just stay away from drugs & the wrong crowd, having a child that you can’t support, going to college and having NO criminal record, also try to maintain good credit (that can hold you back as well).

        • I am neither whinning or crying about this issue. Also, I am not poor, far from it, LOL. However, I do clearly remember the parable of the Good Samaritan. Although, I’ve never experienced poverty or lived in a horrible neighborhood, I do have an imagination. Also, I have compassion for my fellow human being. Like I stated (and will repeat), what she did was wrong. However the punishment did not fit the crime. She should not have been charged with a felony, especially since none of the parents who were also guilty of the same ‘crime’ did not receive a similar punishment. There were other options the school could’ve pursued.

          If a starving man stole a loaf of bread to feed his starving family, do you also believe he should be charged as a felon (‘get what he deserves’)? The so-called justice system in this country is corrupt and NOT blind, especially for darker skinned people. Blacks arrested for a crime are more likely to receive harsher sentences than whites committing a similar crime and with a similar background. It doesn’t even matter if it is the first offense, the person has no prior record, and is guilty of a nonviolent crime. This fact simply cannot be ignored.

          It’s great that you were able to overcome the obstacles in your life. However, not everyone is as strong and determined as you are. Some people do need help, a lot of it, to break the cycle. And I am NOT talking about government assistance because, like you, I don’t believe we should rely on the government to help us. The reason you broke the cycle was because you had a strong mind (and likely at least one person in your life who offered you words of encouragement at one time). Not everyone is as fortunate as you are. As someone who has been there and knows what it is like, perhaps you could return to your community and help them break the cycle? Those communities need people like you but too often those who escaped don’t return to help those they have left behind. Worse, some end up harshly condemning or looking down at the people they have left behind.

          The reason poor blacks repeat the same negative behaviors is that they have internalized all of the negative (and even racist) things said about them. They lack self-worth and self-esteem. On a subconscious level, they do not believe they deserve better, so their entire life becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. They unconsciously sabotage their own potential success.

          And, yes, I do help those who are less fortunate than me. :)

          • nk, applause here on a great post. I can understand the whole personal responsibility thing, it is real talk as they say, lol, but you point out some valid points as well.

        • @gtsa..agree. Still love your pragmatic commenting. You invite people to want to exchange ideas in a civilized way, always.

          • Hey Pisces! I am enjoying the type of thoughtful exchanges I have been seeing here at BCK of late, particularly on this thread. It shows that people can civilly agree to disagree as well as illustrate that in many debates, there are a lot of grey areas.

          • @gtsa..you and you continue to demonstrate what President Obama has called for in his last few speeches to us, that is, no vitriol and no discord in your speaking/typing. You are a bright spot to me when I read comments and responses. Thank you for being you..positive.

          • Thanks. All I can say is I aspire to be positive. I do slip up from time to time, lol.

            Wanted to add, as are you (bright spot). You bring the insight and what I call the “nice spice” and levity (it is always good to have a good laugh too) helping to keep this board/blog lively.

  23. ong! I never heard of anything as crazy as that woman suing Diddy. She sound like she is on some form of drugs. Honestly, what lawyer would take her case??? The lawyer must be crazy too! I know Diddy is just laughing his “you know what off”.

    I am so sick of Laura Govan butt! She cheated with numerous men and now she want sympathy. Heck, those might not even be his kids. She should have gotten married to him before having all of these damn kids and now she mad bc she don’t have a ring and no marriage. Get a job and raise your own kids. You deserve NOTHING!

    To the lady that got arrested for putting her kids in a suburban school district without living there, I feel mixed about. She didn’t live there and neither did her kids, she also falsified court documents and that was wrong. She wasn’t paying taxes to the school distrtict and didn’t want to pay them back the taxes, so she went to jail, lost her career in teaching and has a crinminal record. She should have just found a magnet or charter school in Akron and sent her kids there, instead of lying and breaking the law. She got what she deserved!

  24. ong! I never heard of anything as crazy as that woman suing Diddy. She sound like she is on some form of drugs. Honestly, what lawyer would take her case??? The lawyer must be crazy too! I know Diddy is just laughing his “you know what off”.

    I am so sick of Laura Govan butt! She cheated with numerous men and now she want sympathy. Heck, those might not even be his kids. She should have gotten married to him before having all of these damn kids and now she mad bc she don’t have a ring and no marriage. Get a job and raise your own kids. You deserve NOTHING!

    To the lady that got arrested for putting her kids in a suburban school district without living there, I feel mixed about. She didn’t live there and neither did her kids, she also falsified court documents and that was wrong. She wasn’t paying taxes to the school distrtict and didn’t want to pay them back the taxes, so she went to jail, lost her career in teaching and has a crinminal record. She should have just found a magnet or charter school in Akron and sent her kids there, instead of lying and breaking the law. I know her kids father lived there but they didn’t reside there on a full time basis. So she got what she deserved.

    • Yeah that and the woman is a complete loon. I’d love to be in the jury on this case. That’s if the whole thing doesn’t get thrown out which it should.

      I don’t know who’s dumber, the woman or the lawyer who took this case.

    • The real kicker: “I want my chip please help me. it’s well worth over 100 zillions of dollars, and my hospital keys.” HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! Where DO these people come from?

  25. I read the Diddy one and the woman is clearly Crazy…. 900 billion in child support really? Lol I really got my laugh for the day and I bet Diddy did too when he read that mess! Lol

  26. Sean Combs lawsuit…

    Ice T’s son arrest…

    Messy divorce…

    Ohio woman jalied….

    All summed up in one word: REALLY?

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