Home Actors JADA PINKETT-SMITH: “I DON’T CONTROL MY KIDS”

JADA PINKETT-SMITH: “I DON’T CONTROL MY KIDS”

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Actress Jada Pinkett Smith isn’t worried about her daughter Willow Smith growing up too fast. In fact, the mom of two believes in letting her kids-Willow,10, and Jaden,12- express themselves creatively.

Speaking to Closer magazine, she says, “I see my children as little people, not necessarily people to control. You’ve got to help them develop and become individuals. You have to find out who they are but enforce boundaries to keep them safe.”

As for Willow, who will be performing at this year’s Kids Choice Awards, Jada says, “She’s [Willow] simply being creative. I’m not worried about her growing up too soon.”

The working mom also adds that she has learned how to balance her career and her role within the family.

“I’m very clear about what my priority is and that’s my family. I used to struggle juggling work and family at the beginning. It’s hard when you change from being single to being married to being a mother.”

“But now I’m turning 40, I’ve found a peaceful compromise. I feel very content.”

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72 COMMENTS

  1. Um..Jada do need to teach her children to be more respectful. Like when I saw willow on Oprah a month ago. Oprah asked her something and Willow responded with girrrrl let me tell you as if she was Oprahs equal. I could tell Oprah didn’t like that iether but just brushed it off. People may think that’s cute but its not. This little girl is ONLY 10 and she talks to adults like she’s their equal and she’s not. That’s what I feel Jada and Will are messing up on and need to be correct. I’m happy for their success, but the need to stay kids as much as possible these days.

  2. I do’t know why some of you are so upset, parents should never control their kids. Just guide them, as far as I’m concerned the Smith family are doing a great job raising their kids.

  3. Im a Smith fan but Im not a fan of his kids. Both children (while talented) are overrated Hollywood kids. They have no sense of reality. While this is to be expected growing up with everything, its sad to see them plastered everywhere in so little of time. They aren’t the riches kids (MJ’s kids surely have a bigger piggy bank) but they seem to be on the fast track (too fast IMO) I just wish Jada and Will would allow their kids to co-star instead of headline. Let the kids earn the lead instead of buying it for them. IMO kids need to grow learn and fail not giving the keys.

    • Willow was the co-star for Justin Bieber international tour and she did thank him on tweeter for inviting her. I recently heard on the radio that the Annie project with Jigga Boo-Boo and Will S was rejected. That let’s you know that it doesn’t matter how rich you are as a African-American…the white man will always remind you will never take too many steps ahead of him and goes for Ophra too

  4. I know everyone is entitled to their opinion,but when you call Willow and Jaden names and put them down,that’s crossing the line.You don’t have to agree with Will and Jada’s parenting methods,but don’t say anything insulting or bad about their kids.That is just wrong.Willow and Jaden aren’t running wild or anything like that.According to the interviews I’ve seen and the articles I’ve read,Willow and Jaden are homeschooled by a tutor, although the consistency of their education probably has been interrupted a little while she was shooting her music videos and they were traveling recently.But they do get an education.And while Jada lets them each have their own style and choose their own outfits,Willow and Jaden have to get final approval from her.

    And just because they hang out with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes doesn’t mean they’re scientologists.Over the years I have made friends with people who are jewish,muslim,hindu,and people who are in different denominations of christianity.I was raised in the episcopal church myself,and I am still a member of the episcopal church.I haven’t changed religions,nor have I ever thought about changing religions.You shouldn’t assume that just because a person’s friends or family are involved in a certain religion or lifestyle,that that person is involved in the same things.The Smith kids are doing just fine,and Tom and Katie’s kids seem to be alright too.

    • Read your fax before you write the Smith’s give a generous donation to build a Scientology school years ago. Know what your talking about! Not trying to be rude I feel when a interesting topic comes aboard and heavy as it is facts are important.

      • Once againg your fax are WRONG I dont know about you but my daughter is 10yrs and I wouldn’t buy her or let her pick up touch or eat PENNIS GUMMYBEARS YES I SAID PENNIS GUMMYBEARS its in a shape of a pennis. Little Suri was photoed with the pennis gummybears shes what 5 even though she may not of known what it was then again she might of she dresses her like a little preteen.

      • I did look up info on Will and Jada after I wrote my last post. According to what I read,there was talk that the school that Will and Jada founded was based on scientology.But I don’t think there’s any real proof.Even if it is,that still doesn’t mean that they practice scientology.Will was raised as a baptist.Plus,I also read that Will said they don’t practice scientology.He said that he likes to learn about all the different religions including scientology,and he likes some of the teachings from the different religions.I didn’t come across anything about him saying that he practices a particular denomination of christianity.

  5. Lord Have Mercy, that is a shame. Mo’nique and all others who subscribe to this and justify it………I don’t even have words for. Maybe some things should be kept to yourself.

  6. What does race have to so anything? why is that every blog site theres some small minded person making comments about race? Get over it america, move on already. There are people who are on the wrong track in all kinds of races. white, black latino and asian.
    Britney spears, linsey lohan, charlie sheen, mel gibson,christina aguleria, jamie lynn spears, snooki, all these people look mighty white to me. So obviously african american’s are not the ones running wild and crazy. Those video’s called girls gone wild, what do you see? a bunch of white girls running wild like fools flashing there chest do you see any black women in there? HELL NO.

      • Connie, we all know you go on here under several different names including Tina. First of all dont accuse me of hating on children. I do not “hate” on children when I go on here. Unlike yourself. I dont understand how you can call children names, and dislike them because of their skin color. Plz do us all a favor and take your negative hatred out of here.

  7. Awwww,that was mean. I don’t care for the way the Smiths raise their children, but let’s not take it out on the kids. They may actually read some of the things people say about them.

  8. The Smith children will be fine. I’m more concerned with the amount of grammatically incorrect comments from ADULTS on this site. If most of you are parents please stop judging Will & Jada and make sure your own children aren’t writing how they (or you) speak…a COMMON problem in this country.

  9. My honest opinion is that Willow and Jaden will be fine!I love that Will and Jada are with their kids no matter what!I think you guys are forgetting that Will Smith basically runs Hollywood!Him and Jada know Hollywood inside and out!All these other kids stars their parents don’t know Hollywood as well as Will Smith would. I think Willow and Jaden will grow up to be respectable and good adults. I have never heard anything negative about Mr or Mrs Smith in the media. I don’t think we will hear about Willow or Jaden either.You guys act as if Willow wants to sing forever. she said she is just doing this for fun and trying it out, that she might change her mind later on. and I’m pretty sure Will and Jada will be cool with it. they don’t force these kids to do anything!As far as parenting, I see two very confident children. For education, based on a recent interview Willow gave it must have gotten better because she said she loves to do her times tables now and she’s really good at them. These two have even better educations than our kids. while our kids sit In a classroom, reading in textbooks. willow and Jaden actually EXPERIENCE it. I just think we should mind out business as far as parenting

    • I also believe that the Smith children will be just fine.Will and Jada are very involved in everything their kids do,and the kids are always with them.So there is hardly any time for them to get into trouble. And unlike Michael Jackson when he was younger,Willow and Jaden have friends their own age and are allowed time to hang out with them.I’ve seen pictures of Jaden and Justin Bieber at the Staples center watching Lakers games together.So they do have a normal side to their childhood,and they do some normal activities.

      It’s true that over the years,most of the child stars whose lives were messed up have been white,and it’s not racist to say so.There have been a few black child stars who had problems,but most of the child stars in turmoil have been white.It has to do with the cultural difference in the way that most white and black parents(whether famous or not)raise their kids.Black people have been in survival mode ever since slavery,and that affected how they brought up their kids,and it still does to some extent.Black parents and other minority parents are much harder on their kids because they know that society will be much harder on them.They nip the unruly and defiant behavior in the bud early on,so the kids don’t have problems with other authority figures later.Minority parents know that if their teens and young adults act out and don’t abide by the law,they will be treated more harshly and disciplined more severely in the legal and judicial system than their white peers who are out of control.

      Jada is right about not being too controlling with the kids.They aren’t robots.And no they’re not adults either,but they are human beings with their own individual thoughts and feelings.Parents need to set enough boundaries and limits to keep their kids safe. They also need to give their kids consistent discipline so that they will respect authority and they won’t step out of line as much because they fear the consequences.

  10. I agree with you DeeDee. I feel like why be married at all if you have an “open” marriage?

    Jada just trying to hang onto him for dear life because she doesn’t want anyone else to get Will.

    • @theyknow, the other DeeDee has a space between the name, so it appears that they might be two different people but on this board, who knows.

  11. Well, not one parent out there can honestly say that they are “perfect”- Has made no mistakes and never will. Will and Jada are just like all of us, doing what they feel is best for their children and hoping/praying for a positive outcome. Every child is different, even within the same brood. So, they have to be reared accordingly. I think one of the worst things a parent can do is judge another parent. While you’re busy judging, best believe, you and your child are making mistakes. Mistakes that cannot be avoided because they come with the process of being human. No human is exempt. Get over it.

  12. You know what I realize, Black people are the most negative towards Black people. I mean really, what have these kids done to anyone, that would warrant this type of negativity. I can’t get mad anymore when white people stereotype Blacks, because we do it more than anyone. If you want to see a true ghetto thug, believe me, he would not look like Jaden. SMDH at some of you!

    • @aishashouse,
      Now, that’s not true. I’ve been on blogs that are geared toward whites, and they talk about each other really bad as well. So, it’s not a black thing. However, I do agree that we should stop all the negative comments about these kids. This is a beautiful family. Parenting ain’t easy. We all do the best we can.

  13. lol….the way the link describes it…it seems like Will is the only one consuming sex with others, is the only one who actually enjoys an open marriage. Jada seems to be the one who has to live with it……for real…that sounds jacked up

    • OH HELL NO! I had to type that in caps, the reply to that article is CapLocks worthy! For the life of me, I’ve never been able to figure out why people get married only to have sex with other people, and then you not even having as much “fun” outside the marriage as your husband or none at all???

  14. why is everybody worrying about how jada and will raise their kids.that’s their business not nobody elses.as long as they aint beating them and all that then it shouldnt matter.everybody has different views on raising kids is that’s how they want to raise them then that’s THEIR business,yall need to worry about how you raise your kids and mind your own business

    • im not just saying people on here im talking about everybody in general that makes negative comments about their parenting.and i can’t tell that all of yall not worrying and i dont mean worrying like concern i mean that yall making negative comments about people yall dont know nothing about.yall dont know whats behind close doors in these people lives so just mind yall business

  15. Jada nobody cares how you DON’T raise your kids. We’ll see how they turn out in a few years. I understand by giving them some freedom and not being controlling but these are kids. Don’t send them out into the world thinking they can get their way and that life doesn’t come with rules and regulations or they’ll get a big surprise when they get out on their own. I got a feeling those kids call Jada by her name instead of momma.

  16. If a parent is too strict, the child may go a little overboard with freedom at 18. I was raised in a very strict environment, my best friend was allowed to come over my house but I was not allowed to come to her house. My grandmother had to beg for me to be allowed to even go to school dances, even then I was watched by the cief of police who was a family friend. I say all of this to say I was not aloowed to do very much growing up and once I turned 18 and tasted freedom I lost my mind. Luckily I came back around and grduated college and graduate school. I feel that children should have boundaries(respecting adults, covering up,) but its also important for them to express themselves. If Willow wants to dress a certain way who is it hurting as long as she is respecting herself and is covering up. If Jada and Will’s kids want to sing and act than they should be alloowed to do so, because I’m sure no one is forcing them too..Will and Jada certainly don’t need the money. If this is how they want to raise their kids then thats their choice and they will live with it good or bad. Jada didn’t have to explain her parenting to anyone, but I’m glad she addressed it because I’m sure she heard people talking

  17. My reply to Billie’sMom didn’t show up, but I want to say that we live in an era of newfangled parenting. Give birth to the the kids, and leave them be. They are mini-adults and should be treated as such. They know what they want at 8, 9, and 10 years old. You don’t parent them, you let me freely parent themselves. Children and parents are on equal footing.

    Gone seem to be the days when parents ruled the roost, and the child did what they were told. People say, “Oh, let parents raise their children the way they want” until said child bullies your kid at school, robs, steals, and beats old ladies over the head. Then it becomes, “That kid’s parents should be responsible for their child’s actions.” Like I stated before, Will and Jada’s kids will come out the way they do, and THEY will have to deal with it whichever way it goes.

    • Some of my comments aren’t showing up either, Teri. Don’t know what’s going on with that. Yeah, this is a generation of lazy parents. Parenting takes works and it’s easier to make excuses than to put their foot down and take action. Unfortunetly, when parents like Will and Jada push their ill-mannered kids out of the nest because they’re fed up with them, WE will be the ones to suffer!

      • Girl why do You care so much what type of relationship they have?Who Cares!That’s between Will and Jada!You seem very fascinated by it!Smh

        • I don’t care, but I am surprised by it. I know Monique the comedian declared she was in an open marriage, but I have yet to hear Will and Jada proclaim this. I decline following the link and surpised BCK allowed it.

          The way they raise their kids, how they get down, I just don’t care that much. I just want to be entertained. I like Will, Jada and lil’ Jaden in that regard.

      • Why do you people want Willow and Jaden to be the next Miley?I don’t understand the negativity!Geez let them be great In peace!

  18. Sounds a little “modern” to me but those are her kids… What I really want to know is “What’s up with Willow’s education”?

  19. I agree with you…Jada is looking pretty rough in this photo. Very severe, not soft at all. The look captured is not not one of contentment and it sure is not sultry if that’s what she’s trying to convey.

  20. Wow! Will all of you clueless people agreeing with this Hollyweird influenced woman please keep your half-raised kids away from me and my family! Thank you, kindly!

    • ROTFLMBO!!! Billie’sMom, the state of parenting for many seems to be, have them, and let them do as they please. They are mini-adults who have free run of the house and of their lives. No rules for them. Gone are the days of RAISING their children. Nope, today’s kids raise themselves. Mom and/or dad allow them to roam free to “find themselves,” and that’s why you have uncontrolled brats in the store out of control, and their parents acting like their equals.

  21. Wow…40? She Looks Good But I Still Look At Her As Lena From “A Different World”
    ………
    Do Your Thing Jada They Are Your Kids People With Kids Know First Hand People Going To Talk About The Way You Do Things But If They Are Safe And Loved Keep Doing.

  22. I agree with her. If you always try to control your kids, then they will grow up letting up people control them as well. You have to let them grow, in order for them to realize who they really are. So many parents say, “they live under my roof, so what I say, they better do.” I don’t necessarily believe in that type of parenting. Even though Willow dresses like a space cadet, I appreciate the fact that she allows them to express themselves.

    • I Agree With You 100% Control Almost Always Ends Bad Parent And Child,Boyfriend And Girlfriend In The Long Run It Gets You No Were.

      &&Willow Isnt 10 Years Old With Her Butt Out So She’s Fine… People With Out Kids Have The Most To Say About How You Should Raise Them.

    • I have no problem with a structured household….what I don´t like is the part that You were not allowed to take part in conversations with adults (if that´s what You wrote…not sure), that You got spanked for bad grades (no disprespecting…but that is bull)….but that´s it…..the talking back is a no no when they are young…a teenager should be allowed to voice their opinion…but I was always allowed to voice my opinion and it didn´t do me bad.

      anyway…I did not want to disrespect You….so god bless ya and take care

      • What Christian means when he says he and his siblings were not allowed to participate in adult conversations,is that his parents didn’t discuss adult matters(marital issues,money problems,etc.)in front of the children.The adults in my family did the same thing.
        When they were discussing adult matters,they would send the children out of the room.That’s the way it should be.Dr. Phil always says you should never burden children with adult problems.But if it’s something that affects the whole family(divorce,new baby,etc.), then the adults will tell the children.And of course children can go to their parents and talk about what’s going on in their own lives,
        and tell their parents how they feel about the house rules.

        Christian’s upbringing is similar to my own.My mother was strict and she got on my case all the time.She emphasized education, discipline,and etiquette.I was also taught to respect my elders,and I got spankings as a child also.That is the old school way of raising children.The only difference is that I got to have play dates at my friends houses,and I was allowed to attend sleepovers and parties. My friends came to my house also.That was important for me because I didn’t have any younger siblings to play with.Even children who have siblings shouldn’t be isolated from other children.In the real world,social skills and people skills are just as important as education,talent,and so on.Children can only begin to develop social skills and people skills by interacting with other children in school and in play groups.

        Parents these days just have to be careful who they let their kids hang out with.They should know who their kids friends are,and who the friends parents are.Parents should go inside the friends house with the child the first time the child is invited.This way they can observe how the friends parents run their household.If the friend and their siblings are out of control or there are other disturbing things going on and you’re getting bad vibes,then don’t allow the child to go back to that particular house.Parents just need to stay involved,and know where their kids are,who they hang out with,and what they’re doing.

        As far as which discipline methods parents use,the discipline has to fit each individual child’s personality and temperament.Some children are more obedient and don’t have to be asked more than once or twice to do as they’re told.Other children are more defiant and willful,and you have to be more forceful with them.Not every child needs their parents to be super strict.It’s about balance. Parents cannot be their child’s friend,they must be consistent with whatever discipline method they choose,and they must stay involved in their child’s life.

        Will and Jada are very involved in everything their kids do,and their seem very normal except for the fact that they live in Hollywood. Willow and Jaden are not acting grown.They just inherited their parents strong personalities and attitude,that’s all.Willow and Jaden hang out with kids their own age.Some of Willow’s friends perform with her on stage and in her music videos.And Willow,Jaden,and Trey have never been in trouble with the law,and they’re not out of control like some of the other Hollywood kids.I think Will and Jada are doing a great job parenting their kids so far.

    • my thoughts exactly!!! this is not a shocking revelation! she acts like “control” would mean locking them in a room and daring them to try and leave. you don’t have to rule with an iron fist to get results but to let them think at their ages that they are in control is not my idea of parenting.

      and ITA with Billie’sMom (aka Amy) & Teri!!!

  23. Jada, if you and Will are happy with how you raise your kids, you don’t need to explain your parenting skills. I don’t care because they are not my kids, and however they turn out isn’t going to affect me in the least. Hopefully, their kids will grow up and be productive.

    To me, a parent is a bow, and the child is an arrow. You point them in the right direction, and let them fly. Hopefully, they will land in the right spot.

  24. It would be awesome if people would mind their own business and let Will and Jada raise their children the way they want to.

  25. that’s right..youare supposed to guide, let them live thier life with limits, kids who are controlled turn out to be serial killers ..they spend their adult life fixing the damage tht their parent have done

    • I feel as though she is setting that little girl up for dissaster she neeeds to tell Willo you are ten not sixteen or seventeen you need to act like a child not a grown up and Jadea needs to put her foot down. you can be cerative but be kind and nice and respect people thats what she needs to tell her to stop her think that she suxteen or seventeen and that shes grown Jadea needs to step up and take controll of her kids so they are nice respectfull and down to earth she needs to take controll of that little girl and sit her down and tell her how to treat people and get her off her high and mighty cloud and say your nomal like everyone else act like a ten year old and stop being grown. she needs to do this now so the little girl dose not grow up to dissrespect people or think shes above and ends up having problems and is snobby. get your kids in controll now take responsabillity for rasing them to be goood people and take contoll as a parent so you don,t look like a bad one in the end and think what did i do wrong??.

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