SHOULD YOU STAY MARRIED FOR THE KIDS’ SAKE?
Toni Braxton separated from her husband Keri Lewis in 2009. Since then, the couple have lived apart and share parental responsibilities of their two kids.
The singer tells Sister 2 Sister magazine, “We co-parent together. Sometimes he stays over with the kids; he’s very involved with his kids… April would have been 10 years (since we wed). We’re, like, the best of friends.”
“We told the kids, ‘Sometimes mummy and daddy need a little break.’ That’s probably why I haven’t done a straight divorce yet.”
Toni says she has no plans to divorce her estranged husband for fear of disappointing the couple’s two young sons, Denim,9, and Diezel,8.
Hot Topic: What should a parent do? Should a couple stay married for the Kids’ sake?
40 Comments to “SHOULD YOU STAY MARRIED FOR THE KIDS’ SAKE?”
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I think this is very silly of the Braxton couple. I am sure those kids know what is really going on. Her sister Tamar probably told them anyways..lol Just stay married and get along.
I do not see the point in staying married to someone when the two of you don’t want to live in the same house. It sounds to me like neither she or Keri want to give up on the marriage itself, so maybe they should stop using the kids as an excuse and just accept the fact that they love one another but get on each other nerves and go to counseling and work on that issue.
ewww…Toni is pretty. I like Toni reality show and Tamar is funny. ewww..her boys are cuties.
didnt he sleep with one of her sisters? the lil boys are very cute and they are getting so big.
Toni braxton is so beautiful her kids are just adorable .I think if they can be together with their sons with out fighting and arguing then they should continue to stay in her marriage
he’s just using her for the money and I don’t know what her reasons are, but whatever…
WHAT MONEY???
HAHA EXACTLY
GORGEOUS BOYS WITH GORGEOUS HAIR!
here we go with the hair comments again!why are we obsessed with hair texture?
To answer the question, no.
Staying married for the children is bunk. Kids know. They hate to see Mommy and Daddy unhappy and would prefer their parents’ happiness (in the long run) than to live under a cloud of adult disappointment. If it teaches children to give up, it also can teach them when to admit that a mistake has been made, that there is no fixing the situation despite all good intentions and to let go with grace and humility.
As far as OG marriages – there are some out there. But we have to stop fooling ourselves and thinking that the wedding is the beginning to a “happily ever after” and RECOGNIZE that it’s the beginning of the real work. I think, Amber, that what you are actually trying to say (hopefully my “putting words in your mouth” won’t offend you) is that people throw in the towel too early. They don’t try to communicate and work on their problems before just giving in when the fantasy fails and real life slaps them in the face. The thing about those old marriages, however, is that the dynamic was different. Grandma didn’t leave (possibly) because she couldn’t get a job and take care of her kids the way she would have wanted to. There was a greater social stigma leveled at divorcees – for better or for worse.
If Toni’s arrangement with her kid’s father works for them, that’s great. People have to decide what works for them. Its always best to remain cordial with an ex, the degree of that is case by case for sure.
Her sons are cutie pies!
Toni explained why they are doing it its related to the boy with autism. He regresses when there is a change in pattern, routine etc. She gets along with her ex, they still work together so all is good
I still call shenanigans. Autistic children have to deal with changes just like every other child. He will grow (at least physically, his emotional and mental capabilities I have absolutely no awareness of). The world around him will change. He will have to adapt as best as possible. So to not formally get divorced is still just a convenient way to not deal with their problems. And if daddy has already moved out, the kid has dealt with change.
Staying together “for the kids” is just an easier way to deal with a failing relationship instead of… well, actually dealing with the failing relationship.
I am inclined to agree with Truth Seeker. LOL@ shenanigans. They are confusing. He stays over sometimes but they explain to their children that sometimes mommy and daddy need a little break” Okay.
I think people use their children as an excuse to stay in their relationships because they are comfortable, attached and/or too scared to fully break things off and have to “start again.”
I agree with what others have said before the idea that your kids need or even want you to stay in a marriage you no longer want to be in doesn’t give kids enough credit of resiliency. I know plenty of people that wished their parents had divorced or divorced sooner.
I have to agree with you truth seeker, they are just comfortable. Another point to bring up is them being in what I call a false marriage. Now a “false” marriage is nothing new, it’s those 50′s marriages, it’s that family that looks so cute asthetically, 2.5 kids, a nice home, if you don’t live in their home you want a marriage just like theirs. But in reality, under the surface they’re a hot ass mess, fight all the time, the children are suffering silently, no one is happy, etc. But they stay together anyway just to say “this is my husband” or “this is my wife”. That’s it, that’s all, to say those four little words and get all of the social back pats just for being married. Except for now they disguise it under the guist of saying “well I don’t want my kids to suffer”.
That’s a really good point. And in the end I think the kids suffer for that. Even if they’d prefer mommy and daddy to stay together, their concept of what a relationship is supposed to be will definitely be warped. The messages they get told are “keep up appearances no matter how you actually feel” and “marriages are about how other’s view or may react to the relationship. not the two people in the relationship.” And the entire notion of continuing a rouge “for your children” is filled with hypocrisy and reinforcing that deception is good. I’m sorry I just can’t see how any of this is beneficial to any children.
I understand wanting to do what is best for your children. But I believe that children deserve to have happy, fulfilled parents. Toni should not sacrifice her full happiness which would include dating and finding an appropriate partner, just because she is a mother.
NOPE! This, too, can hurt the children, maybe more. They’ll always remember their miserable childhood where mom and dad faught and couldn’t stand to be together. The children will notice the lack of effort and lack of love their parents show each other.
My sister-in-law told me her son, 8, was asked to do a project in school on something he wished for or wanted (I can’t remember), he wrote “I wish my parents got along better and didn’t fight”. She said she told him not to hand that in and write something different, but her husband said “no, let him hand that in…this is obviously how he feels”. They hadn’t realized how much their marriage issues were effecting their four children. This was definitely a reality check for that family of 5, with one more on the way.
they made vows to EACH OTHER and should honor them. period. it’s really got nothing to do with the kids, although they would be showing them that it’s ok to give up, if they did.
what ever happened to the O.G. marriages that NEVER gave in no matter WHAT(i.e malcolm & betty, martin & coretta, grampa & gramma lol)?
Hi Amber. I’m all for making marriages work and not giving up, but in some instances, it must be done. Many people stay in abusive relationships because they wanna “make it work,” but if one party does not want to work at it, the marriage will be in shambles. Also, if abuse is present in the household, and it involves the children, it’s REALLY time to exit stage left. A child watching a parent being abused, or the child being abused themselves, is not in their best interest. Sometimes, it’s time to pack up and leave.
P.S. I’m not saying that always equates divorce IF said party is willing to do their part.
It’s a personal choice for everyone, but for me, I don’t think it’s a good idea. If you’re at the point in your relationship where you can’t even live with the other person and aren’t working on the relationship or getting counselling to fix what went wrong, then staying married can be more confusing for the children than anything, especially when you start dating other people. It’s not a good example.
I also don’t think it’s fair for parents to use their children as a reason to continue with their dysfunction. Children are more resilient than we give them credit for sometimes, and sometimes they just want their parents to be happy, not necessarily married. I know many people who wished that their parents had divorced instead of staying together for their sake, and living miserable lives in front of their children.
i agree with you 100% you are sooo right
Just wanted to add that I’m not necessarily talking about Toni’s arrangement, because they don’t seem miserable and it seems to be working for them, but I’m talking in general about people who actually hate each other but decide to stay together for the kids.
You said exactly how I feel. No need for me a add a thing.
I agree 100%.
Adding to the list of others saying you are 100% correct, because you are.
I agree.
I cosign this. very well put….nothing more to add.
I agree if it works, dont knock it. I will have to say that you have to be a very secure person to handle this kind of arrangement. It sounds like they have a good understanding and they are doing it for what works for them. I wish them the best.
Keri looks like count chocula in this pic.
OK I know this is about Toni but after watching the show last night I just want to say that Tamar is a mess and if she keep it up she’s gonna mess around and lose her husband…….girl grow up!
I 2nd that, she’s very embarrassing.
she has said that she doesn’t want to be known as toni braxton’s little sister-sad that this is the only way she feels will get her name out there(you’re not nene from rhoa) worry about your own marriage and grow up.
back to toni; i agree with the other comments, do whats best for your family and you never know what you’ll do until your placed in it.
I guess it depends on the people involved. If they are mature adults that can behave the way they are supposed to in front of the kids w/out arguing and fighting then it should be ok. I understand doing what is best for the kids and I say if it works for them then they should keep doing it. Everyone cannot be civilized when they are not together, but they seem to be ok.
Isnt one of her sisters in the same situation with her husband??
You should do what’s best for your own family. Personally I don’t think I would but like I said everyone is different and you have to do what’s best for you and yours!
open marriage? Cute family BTW.