“I call myself mom-in-chief not because I don’t value my career or education … but the most important thing to me is raising strong women because that’s what my mother did for me,” First Lady Michelle Obama shared with a group of London schoolgirls ages 12-15 on Wednesday.

“The things I tell my girls[Malia,12, and Sasha,9] are the same thing I would tell you — don’t be afraid to fail, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, ask stupid questions and get laughed at. Trip and then get back up,” she added.

Mrs. Obama also urged the girls to ‘dream big’ and even gave them advice on how to choose their friends(and how to find the right mate.):

# 1 Do not be afraid to fail or be afraid to take risks in life.  “Learn to use your voice now. Ask questions. Ask stupid questions. Be laughed at. Get it wrong. Trip, fall and then get back up. Do your homework. Do chores. Have responsibilities, because what I tell my kids — you have to practice who you want to be. You know, you don’t wake up one morning and you’re suddenly who you think you want to be. You have to put some energy into it.”

#2 Choose your friends wisely. “You know, good relationships feel good,” she said. “They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with. And that’s just as important as the school that you choose. Who’s in your life, and do you respect them, and do they respect you? And are you respecting them? Right? And we as women in particular — and this is such an important message — starting today, you all have to be supportive of each other. You can’t be jealous, and push and trip, you know? It’s hard enough. So in your lives now … be kind to each other. Support each other. There’s room for everyone to succeed. And that has to start in your lives now. Right?”

#3 Learn to live with doubts as you get older. “I have doubts today,” she said. ” Doubts don’t go away. You just learn how to deal with them. You start knowing yourself, and you become more confident the more successes you have, the more chances you take. You don’t let the failures or the stumbles define you. Everybody falls every now and then. Some people fall a lot.”

#4 It’s not all about getting all A’s in school. “It’s not about getting the A, you know? It’s not always about getting the A. It’s about learning, and it’s about loving learning. And sometimes the A won’t come because you take a course that pushes you, right?, and it’s going to be hard, and you’re going to, again, stumble a little bit. But if you always just go for the grade, sometimes you’ll bypass what’s interesting because you might not get a good grade in it, right? And I don’t want you all to start doing that. It’s too early.”






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  1. Beautiful and true advice and words. I love it! Our First Lady is so grounded, intelligent, humble, and down-to-earth.

  2. I loved Michelle advice..and I can see why Barack chose her as his wife and mother of his kids. I am going to save her encouraging words/advice for later use when i have kids.

  3. I especially love the part about good relationships feel good… So many young girls/women need to learn and understand that. All these young girls running around with these men that are hurting and disrespecting them and putting up with it in the name of “LOVE” if they were taught this lesson from an early age they would know the difference.

  4. I swear u can never satisfy BLACK PPL…Always have sumthing negative 2 say…The 1st lady is giving a message 2 us…N all u guys get out of it is…Malia’s skirt being 2 short…Smh @ the 1’s who clearly let the message…Fly over their heads !!!

  5. the First Lady is awesome! she’s so wise and full of wonderful advice. her kids are so lucky and i know with her guidance they will grow up to be well-rounded, amazing people.

  6. Wow what great words of wisdom, they are reminders that can help every woman and man for that matter. I just think she is the epitome of class and grace. I love her!

  7. She really is strong to put up with all the nasty things a lot of fools say about her. I mean really irrelevant sh!%. I was shocked at all the nice comments until I realized, “wait, I’m on a black site!” no wonder! Have you ever read the things our fellow Americans of other races have to say about her? Yet, we always defend them on here.

    • People attack her simply for being married to the Black President. No matter what she or her husband do or say, they will always be crucified.

      Both are very strong, mature, respectful individuals & will continue to rise above all negativity. God placed them there for a reason & he will carry them through.

  8. Michelle Obama needs to write a biography, “Dream from Michelle”. Seriously though I hope she writes a book about her times in the White House.

    Also you guys are really petty to be focusing on Malia’s skirt. The child is 5’10!!! Everything that child wears will appear short because of the length of her legs (it’s also a high-waisted skirt making it appear even shorter).

  9. WOW I love my first lady Michelle Obama! Such positive words as for the girls skirts I had to go back and look to see what the fuss was about, I laugh at people who post such foolish things on here everyday really people stop sweating the small stuff! dang there kids and good one at that

  10. SMH at the people who have chosen to focus on the length of a child’s skirt rather than the important message here.I guess that’s why the black community still has a long way to go…smh. God bless you Michelle i hope to pass this message to my future children.

  11. Why are some of you focusing on whether or not her daughters skirt is too short instead of the positive advice those girls and really everyone should try to follow?

    • i’m sayin. this pic is back from March, so that little comment boat has sailed lol! i guess if they’d chosen a pic with Malia in pants, her clothes wouldn’t even be an issue and people could focus on what this topic is really about.

  12. She seems like a wonderful mother.

    Malia is an almost 6′ tall 12 year old. There are likely few clothes that allow her to look her age that are also “long enough.”

  13. Such positive advice! Ever parent should empower their children and help them grow. As far as the picture goes, I think Malia’s skirt could’ve been longer.

  14. First Lady Michelle Obama, to me, you are the perfect example of what good parenting is all about. You have a wonderful mother as an example. You don’t emphasize materialism that seems to be thrust in our children’s faces today, but life experience that will take them to adulthood. Your advice was spot on. I wish more parents passed these jewels on to their children.

    YOU, Michelle Obama, ARE MY SHERO!

    • I agree Teri, she too is my shero.

      Michelle has been the best female role model I’ve come across. Young ladies cannot say they do no have a positive female role model to look up to.

    • @ KRHO – After all those POSITIVE words the ONLY thing you can focus on is the lenght of Malia’s skirt….WOW!!
      NOT one word on what their mother said but the LENGTH OF HER SKIRT…SHDH!!!

      Great words of encouragement First lady!! @ Teri I totally agree with you…she is my SHERO too!!

      • Sorry my comment upset you. Never meant it to come off as negative. I commented on the skirt and the height of Malia because I can relate having a tall 14 y.o., although he is a boy, and I am struggling finding shorts long enough. I also enjoyed her pearls of wisdom abt kids, and think she is brillant. No disrespect to our first lady.

        • It’s ok…I didn’t mean to come off on you like some crazed LUNATIC about her skirt….I have TALL nieces and nephews so I know what you mean.

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