Home Actors JADA PINKETT-SMITH TALKS TEACHING HER KIDS TO HAVE ‘OWNERSHIP’ OF THEMSELVES

JADA PINKETT-SMITH TALKS TEACHING HER KIDS TO HAVE ‘OWNERSHIP’ OF THEMSELVES

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Jada Pinkett-Smith is an A-list celeb and mother of two. The ‘Madagascar 3′ recently sat down with the Daily Herald to talk about her life that is constantly in motion.

Balancing family and career.

“I think learning to put myself as a priority really helped me learn how to balance. For me, being able to take care of myself really gives me the rejuvenation to take care of others. If I’m not happy and I’m not doing well, no one else is.”

Lessons from Willow,11, and Jaden,13.

“My kids have taught me a lot about peace and honesty. Kids are very honest. My kids have taught me how to listen and how to trust.”

What makes her a good mom.

“I have to wait for my kids to get older for them to identify if I’ve been a good mother or not! I think I have a great relationship with my kids. I’m very honest with them. I tell them when something is my fault. We’re not perfect. There’s no manual, we’re learning as we go. So I’m busting the myth of saying ‘I’m your mother and I know everything.’ No, I’m your mother and you’re my child and we’re going to create a relationship where we can be partners on sharing a life together.”

Advice for mothers with daughters.

“We are told that we can’t have ownership of ourselves until we’re 18. And then we’re pushed out into the world at 18 to figure out how to use that ownership versus helping our daughters understand how to have that ownership while they’re still in the house. So by the time they’re 18, they’ve got it. It’s also about knowing how to set up boundaries. I always tell Willow, as you get older you get more access to more freedom because you’re more knowledgeable.”

Word of wisdom for career moms.

“[The essence of balancing a career with family life is] just being able to really understand how important keeping one’s passion alive is. I think that once we do it, we realize how much it feeds the spirit. And then we have so much more to give to our children and our families versus feeling like we’re stealing something from them. Every last one of us knows the importance of taking those hours and those moments for ourselves that we usually won’t because of our own guilt. It’s not about hours. It’s not about time. It’s about spirit. You do what you need to do to keep your spirit alive.”


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28 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve always noticed, even while growing up, the same parents who always wanted to be “friends” with their kids, always ended up with a house full of problems well-after everyone graduated from high school.

    Some don’t like it, but the best thing my mom ever did was tell me “not yet” when I had all those impulses at that age. I had a very unorthodox childhood, in the sense that my parents allowed me to QUESTION and DEBATE everything, but they taught me whoever’s paying the bills = complete control. Free spirited or avant-garde parenting is NOT to be confused with a free-for-all. That’s what your kids’ little stupid friends are for lol. Will better call Cosby, get some notes lol.

  2. I find it interesting that adult people still not have learned the most basic lesson in life, which is that life itself is not one size fits all. When someone else makes a choice that is simply different from our own we automatically label it ‘bad’. The so-called out of control behavior many of you think these kids are destined for stems from parents who fail to provide their children with a sense of security. When you make your child feel like they have to be who YOU want them to be, they will find self-destructive behavior to fill the void. Too many of you over simply the complexities of raising human beings, which is what children are. They aren’t clay. Stop looking at it as a bad thing whenever a parent doesn’t try to shape who their child is by dictating silly things like hair and clothes. Instead, ask whether or not that child is being given love and security. That will give you a glimpse into what that child may seek out when they get older.

  3. You have draw the line somewhere though. You can’t forget; they’re still children. I don’t know any 11 year old that’s allowed to shave and dye their hair. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I’m not judging though.

  4. It would really nice if interviewers would ask her different questions. No need to ask her the same questions. Anywho, Jada raise YOUR babies how YOU see fit.

  5. It would be easier for people to mind their own business if Jada kept the interviews strictly business and stopped discussing her parenting methods. For some reason she seems to want to share everything about her family. Willow may be awesome in spite of her parents errors. She seems to be a good kid. Sometimes a parent can’t mess up a good kid no matter how poorly they parent. I enjoy the entire family as entertainers!

  6. I think Willow and Jaden will be fine ! I also think people need to mind their business on what their kids do. They can raise them however they want. And Willow is so Jada 2.0 in her style/hair. Jada grew up with the same freedoms in expressin herself, why wouldn’t she give her daughter the same .

  7. Why is Jada ALWAYS doing/saying the same thing in different interviews. People, lets STOP interviewing the Smith’s on their unique parenting methods.

    • I was thinking the same thing when I skimmed the article. Jada keeps saying the same old things, leave the Smiths be.

  8. I don’t know where people get the idea that Willow gets to do whatever she wants. Is that because she cut and dyed her hair? When I see 5 year olds with long weaves, and girls Willow’s age wearing booty shorts and halter tops, I tell ya I really think Willow is just fine… She seems to have a mature spirit, but doesn’t seem too grown or disrespectful! Willow will be just fine!

    • Not mature enough to protect herself from the critics. People are forgetting that she is still eleven. The whole idea of “having access to as much freedom” is not a wise concept…sorry Jada you were not in the spotlight at her age, nobody was judging you when you did things.

      My parents taught me you can have freedom but always remember the consequences. God gives you your own free will. You can be smart with it or go crazy…your choice. I’ll pray for Willow that she stays the level headed, quirky girl she is. I would hate to see her take the wild road. Same for Jaden

      • “Not mature enough to protect herself from the critics.”

        You don’t think that her parents have discussed this with her and prepared her for the critics? People would criticize Willow even if she didn’t have a career – simply because of who her parents are. You’re criticizing her now while claiming to be concerned for her. Leave the child alone, and let her parents raise and teach her just as you said yours did!

        When Willow buys a chimp named Bubbles, or hangs with Miley Cyrus, or tattoos her face, then I’ll worry.

        • How am I criticizing her? lol, by saying she needs to be protected? By saying she is young? Those things are true, and if you were discerning you’d see it too.

          • You’re criticizing her by concluding that she’s somehow not being raised correctly, and that she needs your prayers so that she doesn’t take the “wild road”. You’re also criticizing her parents… From your comments, I don’t even think you have children. Let the Smith’s raise theirs, and if you don’t approve of their parenting methods then don’t use them when you have children. Simple!

      • While I agree Willow is not old nor strong enough to defend herself from the critics out there; that is why she has parents. Those parents are doing a darn good job defending their daughter, don’t you think?

        • I guess so. But I’m not criticizing Willow. I am being more judgmental of her parents I’d admit, which I shouldn’t be. But still…
          I guess now I understand why Beyonce will keep baby Blue away from the public, so we won’t sit up here talking about her child lol.

          • People say Willow will turn into someone who will (fill in the blank) but truthfully we don’t know until she’s an adult. No one thought Jamie Lynn Spears nor her sister were going to turn into the women they are now did we? Don’t get me started on Miley Cyrus.

    • I agree with you plainmean, I don’t understand why people assume because these kids are interested in expressing themselves in different ways their parents allow them to do whatever. These kids look grounded, respectful and they are expressing themselves; isn’t that what being young is all about.

    • I agree, Willow may appear ‘grown’ but she’s not disrespectful grown. I haven’t heard of any one who worked with her calling her a diva or a brat. She’s being judged simply by what she does with her hair. She’ll be just fine & if she’s not, that is her parents issue to deal with.

  9. Her kids, particularly Willow, know who they are now and can express themselves. They will likely adopt other interests as they get older, of course. A lot of our interest change as children and even as adults.
    There are always certain boundaries that should not be crossed. However, I think these kids will not have an identity crisis once they’re 18. They’re non-conformist. As long as they aren’t harming anyone else and damaging their own selves, what’s wrong?

  10. There are boundaries that you have to have with teenagers. But Willow is like 11 or 12 she is not even a teen yet. The way it looks to me is that they let them do what they want to do. I think they should have waited until their kids were much older before they put them in the lime light.

  11. Watching A Different World & seeing Jada on it is like watching Willow now. They are so much a like.

    I liked where she said she has to wait until her kids are older for her to know if she’s a good mom. So true. end of the day, its her children. She can raise them however she wants. If someone had insight into how you ran your household, i’m sure they would disagree on some things

  12. I’ve been having a hard time taking Jada seriously lately :/ I applaud her eagerness to establish a healthy relationship with the kids but this whole rockstar image is too much for an 11 and 13 year old…feel free to attack me below smh

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