NIA LONG: ‘MOTHERHOOD IS NOT EASY, BUT IT’S NATURAL’
Nia Long is a loving mom who does not have marriage on her mind. The big screen actress recently told Essence magazine that she and Ime Udoka are madly in love but not considering marriage at this time. “Marriage is not a priority for me…I have never seen a marriage work. I’m not saying I’ll never do it; It’s just not where we are as a family. I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married,” said Long.
PHOTO: Nia and Sons Cover Essence Magazine
The actress admits that motherhood is no easy task, but is up for the challenge of parenting sons Kez,8 months, and Massai Jr.,11. “Massai’s dad and I have had the most challenging times, and I wasn’t always sure we wouldn’t end like my mother and father,” says Long. “But we’ve arrived at a place where I can truly say he’s not a baby daddy, he’s my friend, finally. He is an amazing father. Motherhood is not easy, but it’s natural. I worked hard to have the career I wanted, but I’ve also been deliberate about my personal life. None of this is a mistake.”
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Photo:Essence magazine
29 Comments to “NIA LONG: ‘MOTHERHOOD IS NOT EASY, BUT IT’S NATURAL’”
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Wow! I guess I should not be surprised at how completely judgemental people are…Nia is a grown women and can make her own decisions. She’s had a great career and has 2 beautiful sons. She made a decicion based on her own situation, experiences, and life. Marriage is hard…it takes work, and everyone doesn’t automatically make a good wife, or husband. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good people. I have been married for 24 years, so its been great for me, but I realise everyone is different. She has a beautiful family
thanks for that refreshing comment. Too many people are so judgmental. It’s her life and she is happy, so why are so many of us hating on her situation.
What a beautiful baby!!! However, Mama just went down in my book. The last thing she needs to be portraying or spreading is that marriage is useless. Being a single mother is not glamourous nor is it fair to the children. She is only thinking of herself. I could see if she had adopted the kids, but laying up bringing more children into the world that are automatically set up for a bad deal without having a dad. She ought to be ashamed. Shows she has no Godly morals, just another actress to write off the list!
Yeah I love how she acts like it is her decision not to get married.Who does she think she is foolin.If her baby’s father got down on one knee and asked her to marry him,she knows she would say yes.She is just saying this to try to hide the fact that the guy doesn’t want to get married to his baby’s mama.She’s too old to be thinking like this.
Amen
I’m not knocking Nia’s decision to not marry. She has the resources and appears committed to her children. I personally decided that its easier to commit to being a great mother than a wife. So, that’s my own personal decision. I’ve seen marriages that work for the people in them but I haven’t found the ideal relationship for me. I have a man who is loving and who is committed to family, hope to marry him someday but I’m in no rush. I have worked hard for everything I own and am in no hurry to have the government dictate my personal decision – which is what marriage does. Its puts you in a legally binding contract, so before I do that, I need to trust a man 100%. Ideally, I would have found a great man at 25 worked on a relationship that is loving and trusting, married at 30 and starting having children a few years later. But the reality is, I haven’t got until I’m 45 to have my own biological child. Sometimes the ideal is beyond reach at the moment. I know my worth and am proud to be a very good unmarried mother (soon). All unmarried parents are not in the same boat. Some people are promiscious, live off of government benefits and lousy parents. But that does not describe every unmarried parent.
I meant I don’t care who you are!!
Do what works for you! But don’t say you have never seen a marriage that works. You make your marriage what you want it to be period. You can’t base your life or marriage off of what you have seen. Being a baby momma is not cool and don’t care who you are!!
Whoever you are you sound like a bitter, unhappy person, and that’s not cool. You cannot judge people because they are single mothers, and if you are one that you should be ashamed. People don’t choose to be single mothers in most instances, and one person cannot make a marriage work, if you guys don’t get along or were never compatible there is nothing one person can do to fix a marriage.
“marriage isn’t for everyone” is a lie that Satan wants people to believe. Marriage is under attack! It doesn’t help that we sometimes marry for the wrong reasons and we divorce. However, no one should ever settle for simply being a baby mama when you are in a relationship and “acting” like you are married. It goes without saying that single moms do a great job but no one plans to be a single mom.
Actually some women do plan on being single mothers.
Marriage can be amazing, but its not the epitome of a successful partnership. Remember marriage is a legally binding agreement, and if you can be in love with someone and share your lives together without being legally connected by a piece of paper why not. It’s not a crime to not want to be married.
I think people get married because its a societal pressure to have that union. I think many couples would survive better if they didn’t get married.
Mother and son look so much alike
Marriage isn’t for everybody. Is not about being a “baby mama” she doesn’t want to get married and that’s her choice and her business.
I also wonder why people always say a woman is okay with being a baby mama. When will those same people ask for men to be held responsible for being ok with just being a baby daddy?
*it’s
Exactly, and I totally agree with you. Most women are single mothers because they have to. When parents break up the man leaves the women to become a single mother, it’s not a choice or a life long dream. Single motherhood is hard work, and most women would love to have a partner to split that responsibility, but more men have to take more responsiblity and not just talk about it.
I often wonder why it’s so easy to commit to a man as his gf or as his “baby mama”, but not so easy to commit to one another in marriage. In a world where divorce is all around us, who is going to set the example for our children? When you know better, you do better. When you know your worth, you can make demands for what you deserve. #IJS
Can i have him!? He’s so cute & chunky! Glad her & her 1st son father are on good terms now
Everybody is different, just b/c you believe in something doesn’t mean everybody else has to feel the same way. Nia said she hasn’t seen a successful marriage. That’s in her personal life, you may have seen happy marriages in your life & they are examples to you on how a family could me. Nia never had that, she probably doesn’t know how to go about having a good marriage & doesn’t want to just get married b/c its the “right” thing to do. If she do, she’ll probably be divorced in months. I don’t get how she’s glorifying single parenthood o_O she’s just sharing her personal life. Any grown adult shouldn’t be influenced by a celeb they don’t know.
I totally agree Summer with what yu have to say. I just think some people are afraid of marriage because others get divorced and they don’t want to end up that way. It’s not an easy thing to get into if your not ready to really commit.
I just don’t want to be married.
Another celebrity making single motherhood look glamorous. SHDH!
I’m all for the women who refuses to have children without being married. It’s the way God intended & all young ladies should do it. What irks me is those same women putting down unwed mothers. Does it not occur to you guys that most of them did not want to be single mothers? Did it occur to you that marriages end, men cheat/abuse/etc their wives who leaves them, that men die? There are many scenarios as to why a woman has children w/o being married, instead of assuming it was by choice. I would hate for the women knocking down those women never, ever become one of them.
As for Nia, it seems the relationship she had with her father (whom my relatives personally know), the relationship she had with Massai’s father, has caused her to be in the state of mind she is regarding marriage. Like she said, it may change, but for now, that is her choice.
let the church say!
Amen sister!
Now we can end the marriage talk regarding Nía
It’s official! I am “adopting ” this baby. He is just too cute and chunky!!
U go Ms Nia. Live your life.
Aww I love chunky babies.. He’s adorable!
Beautiful photo!