Home Mama Guru WHY SOME WOMEN ARE WAITING TO HAVE CHILDREN

WHY SOME WOMEN ARE WAITING TO HAVE CHILDREN

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It seems that more and more women are waiting until later in life to become mothers. Women are enjoying being independent, having successful careers, traveling the world, and pursuing higher education before being tied down to motherhood. A 2010 birth statistic taken by the U.S. Census Bureau reported that 42% of women ages 25 to 34 with at least one bachelor’s degree gave birth for the first time, compared to 76% for women ages 35 to 44 with the same level of education.

Another reason women may be waiting until later to have children is so that they can have more “couple” time with their spouse. According to a study done by the University of Denver, 90% of couples’ marital happiness decreases after a year of the birth of their first child. Also, the 2009 U.S. Census Bureau reported that 40% of kids born to a two-parent home will probably live in a single-parent household by the time they hit the age of 18.

For many women, the social pressures of becoming a mother have led us to believe that we are not complete until we’ve given birth, no matter how far we’ve moved up the corporate ladder or how many degrees we’ve obtained. With this type of standard, we may feel like the odd woman out if we’d rather discover more about ourselves into our late 20′s or 30′s than hear the pitter patter of little feet. Medical science has also scared woman into feeling pressured into having children before a certain age because of higher risks for certain abnormalities or possible complications, but is that risk great enough to make a women need to to change her life plan?

What do you think? Is it ok for a women to wait until later in life to have babies?

 

 

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  4. An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a co-worker who had been doing a little research on this. And he in fact bought me lunch because I discovered it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to discuss this subject here on your website.

    • I am in my 30′s, professional and finally considering motherhood. But it would seem I am still not ready. It took me sometime to excel professionally. Now the idea of being weighed down with a child bothers me. I know it may sound selfish but 40 seems like the ideal time. I am aware of the risk so in the end I’m seeming less interested and considering adoption. My fiance’ wants kids, sometimes I wish they could have them.

  5. Having a child out of wedlock does not carry the stigma and shame it once did, they say.
    The study also found that in America there is a declining number of teenage mothers and rising numbers of older parents.

  6. I waited until I was 31. Well, not waited. My 30′s just happened to be the time I got married and decided to have a child. I always knew I wanted to find my husband. Someone who has the same values, morals, and upbringing as myself. And… because in my 20′s I was nowhere near ready. I was enjoying being a young adult, because having a baby is a big deal.

  7. I’m waiting to have kids because I have STANDARDS!!! IIt was made clear to my current fiance that I’m going to be a wife and not a babymama. Also I wanted to wait until me and my fiance are established and our business is succesful so our child can have a good life. I think that its so sad that many blackwomen have such low standards for themselves, I think it may a result of low self esteem. I think there are too many exscuses(getting too old, can’t find a good man, its ok to be a single parent,don’t need a man, etc.) for producing many illigetimate babies. We need more Huxtables and Obama families. Black women you will continue to get less because you expect it, if you expect to be a single parent thats what you will be.
    I don’t believe the “I can be a single parent” crap any way i think women are just disapointed and are trying to hide their pain of not being able to produce a family instead of another broken home.

      • She never said anything close to that. Not a single comparison to, nor contrast against other races or ethnicities in her comment. However, she did make valid points concerning our own people and they shouldn’t be dismissed. If we can’t address issues within our own communities without negative, defensive responses then we can just give up on the black family all together. There needs to be a dialogue about the state of black families without attacks or angry responses. Things don’t get better by pretending problems don’t exist.

        • First, you are assuming I am angry or offended by her comment. Other people’s opinions do not have any impact on my life nor my decisions. My response to her was more sarcastic than angry. Second, whether or not she has valid points is irrelevant when applied to one race & not the many others races. There are single women of all shapes, sizes, and nationalities choosing to have children. Singling out black women is being narrow minded. Third, there are numerous reasons why women of all nationalities are single mothers, death, prison, abandonment, etc..implying it solely by choice is showing a limited way of thinking.

          • This is a black website. The title is blackcelebkids. Both the target audience and the topics pertain to black people. It’s not random that someone would comment about black families. It’s more than appropriate and relevant. It would make zero sense to discuss anything but black families concerning this topic. We should be able to discuss ourselves without constantly pointing to other races and ethnicities as a reason to minimize what seems to be epidemic within our own community. Frankly, who cares what’s going on with other groups right now? Why not focus on improving ourselves regardless of what others are doing? A defensive response is a clear indication of her comment touching a nerve, sarcastic or otherwise. While single parenthood is seldom a directly deliberate goal, certainly many of our choices are more likely to lead to it. Is everything within our control? Obviously not. However, we can make choices that are less likely to lead to single parenthood, starting with choosing to avoid pregnancies all together in the absence of personal and financial stability. The guy who has been in and out of jail shouldn’t be an acceptable mate. The guy who demonstrates little to no commitment in multiple areas of his life likely won’t stick around to marry you, much less raise a child. Too often we allow our young women to think their motherhood goals should focus on not being “too old” of a mom rather than a mom in a stable situation BEFORE pregnancy even occurs.

  8. I’m waiting to have kids, just because I don’t want to settle. I enjoy just getting up and going, I’ll heavily consider having a baby next year…… I think.

  9. Education and careers have a lot to do with this. I didn’t even consider children until I was in my 30′s and I don’t regret it one bit. Aside from loving my years partying, traveling, and growing professionally, relationship stability was another factor. We take single parenthood too lightly. Marriage may not be perfect for every couple, but we get too comfortable with this whole ‘baby mama/daddy” culture. Kids should have two loving parents who actually want them. We need to show them that commitment starts at home. Another thing I have an issue with is if white women have been doing just fine waiting, so why do we rush our young women to have babies?

  10. I think its OK providing you do not Waite to late especially if you want to have your own birth children’s, even adoption is hard after a certain age. we live in the time where you certainly can wait until education/career/job/would be nice for the raising part which is the most important. A Partner’s would be nice not a must be would be nice once again from the child prospective .,

  11. A woman is considered high-risk after age 35. This limits her options in terms of birthing. For example, usually a home birth is ruled out by State laws and you usually must find an ob/gyn who specializes in high-risk births. Hence, you may not be able to have the birth experience you have always imagined.

  12. I’m 42 and still holding out a little hope. Truth is that when I was younger I had no interest in being anybody’s mother. It looked like a thankless, expensive, miserable, messy and nauseating experience. My mother was a first grade teacher and I used to ask her what was wrong with children, they seem to always be leaking from one orifice or another. And no amount of cute could be worth the $200,000 or more it would take to raise them in the manner I’d like to raise them. Unh unh no way!

    But now… Let’s just say, God and I are in discussions. I may have waited too long, but if it is God’s will, it will.

  13. Every woman is different. I hate when someone ask me why my kids are spaced so far apart in age. I waited 6 yrs to have another child because I wanted to enjoy spending time with my 1st child. She was in 1st grade when my son was born. No one competes for my attention and they love each other (sometimes). My little sister, who is 35, had her first and only child last year. She already had a 8 yr stepdaughter, whom she helped raised since she was 3. She just felt that the time was right for their family.

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