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by Kesha C. of We Got Kidz
Truth be told, there is scientific evidence that says parents tend to favor one child over another. Last months cover of TIME magazine said it all: “Why Mom Likes You Best“. Inside, TIMES writer Jeffery Kluger explored the primary factors that contribute to the selection of a favorite child.
I’m sure all of us who have siblings have felt the burn of being “picked second” at some point or another. Growing up in my household, I think that the “favored child” title changed from year to year. [I’ll admit that I lost the title a majority of my teenage years… but that’s an entirely different post – better yet, an entirely different blog.]
Understandably, favoritism from a parent is pretty straight forward: Every parent is different and every kid is different; and they will relate to each other uniquely. This distinctive relationship leads to preferences – Plain and simple.
Those of you with children who are gifted athletically or academically have, I’m sure, felt the guilt of feeling favoritism for that child. Although natural, what matters most isn’t IF your child is your favorite, but whether or not he or she plays that sport or aces that test FOR your favor. Don’t let that happen. Kids need the opportunity to develop their own ego and personality – Not inherit yours.
So between my twins Ari and Jaxon, who’s my favorite?… I don’t have one… yet. [Even though last night, Jaxon was definitely not my favorite. His hand in his soiled diaper and a smack to my arm lost him that coveted spot for the moment.] I, of course don’t have plans to pick a favorite, but I’m sure there will come times where one of my children may do something more favorable than the other. According to Psychology Today, it’s only natural. Ellen Weber Libby, Ph.D., says that wanting to look good in the world and to feel special drives your child’s behaviors; although how far you as the parent goes to achieve this end in your relationship with your child influences whether the experience of being the favorite child is psychologically healthy or potentially destructive. I myself am already striving to maintain some sort of balance. I make sure to always have an equal amount of Ari photos to Jaxon photos displayed throughout the house, and I try to give them each an equal amount of “cuddle time”… But I do praise one over the other if they display exceptional behavior and I believe that that’s okay.
So if you ever catch yourself reciting the refrain, “I love all of my kids equally”, that sounds great and all but I’m pretty sure your children know the truth, and you know what?… It’s okay
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My babies don’t understand the concept of sharing quite yet. In the beginning, my daughter was a tyrant – If her twin brother possessed something that she wanted — well.. hell hath no fury. Well, now my son has quite a few ounces on his twin, and he proves it to her every chance he gets. Now it’s gotten to a point where we have little Wrestlemania events in the middle of our living room. Me and the fiance get quite a kick out of it each time, and I often chuckle at the thought of seeing those tiny fists and plastic car keys flying. We’re such a dysfunctional family… but are we?
I was reading a site about dysfunctional families. According to these “brilliant” studies, a family is dysfunctional when there’s not enough function. Okay… makes sense. According to this particular site, families are also dysfunctional when there’s too much function and even more so when that said function is inconsistent. Excuse me for asking, but doesn’t all of this dysfunction make a family… functional?
Christopher Gardner who was famously portrayed in The Pursuit of Happiness was in and out of foster care his entire childhood. Jim Carrey lived in a camper van as a teenager and had to work eight hour shifts at a tire factory to help his family. And of course we can’t forget the ultimate “stinky childhood to awesomeness” story: Oprah – Raped at 9 and gave birth at 14. Her small talk show has turned into a billion dollar franchise.
Now do I need to go smash some toy cars and rip the heads of of some Barbies? Maybe not – I’m a firm believer though that balance is the key. Healthy families are by no means perfect; they regularly include a little yelling, a tad bit of bickering, some misunderstanding, and a ton of plastic key throwing – but not all of the time. In healthy families, expressing yourself emotionally is generally allowed and excepted. Ultimately, my babies mini wrestling matches are helping them to gain confidence, learn that they can’t win every battle, and they actually do share when things are all said and done. Maybe we’re not so dysfunctional after all.
Graphic Artist/ Blogger
If you’re not yet a wife or a mother, you’ve probably given little thought to how you’ll feed your future babies. Perhaps you have a vague idea that “breast is best,” but in reality most of your family and friends who’ve had children have fed them formula and you probably feel that it’s just as good as breast milk or a really close second.
But you’d be wrong. In fact, the World Health Organization lists formula as the fourth best way to feed an infant. First being breastfeeding, second being pumping and giving your baby your breast milk in a bottle and third being donor breast milk. Fourth best. The overwhelming majority of babies, our brown babies, are being fed in the way that’s fourth best.
Why is formula considered fourth best? Well, there are many risks to formula feeding. Formula fed babies are more likely to die of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), get more ear infections, are more likely to be constipated, and overfed. Formula fed babies are more likely to one day become obese, more likely to get breast and ovarian cancer, have higher incidence of asthma and allergies, and are more likely to have diabetes.
Breastfeeding is the normal, natural way to feed a baby, but breast milk is more than just food. It provides antibodies and protects the lining of your baby’s intestines. Breastfeeding creates an amazing bond between mother and child, as your nursing baby spends so much time with you, skin-to-skin.
Unfortunately, only 55% of black women ever initiate breastfeeding. Some of the reasons for this include cultural beliefs about breastfeeding, the aggressive marketing of formula in the black community and a lack of support for breastfeeding.
First Lady Michelle Obama has been putting in a lot of work to promote her “Let’s Move!” anti-obesity campaign, which contains a strong push for breastfeeding. I love Mrs. Obama’s campaign because it tackles the obesity problem from every angle and requires all of us to get involved. She said in a speech recently, “I’m not just here today to talk to you about the problem. I am also here to enlist each and every one of you in our fight to find a solution. We need folks like all of you, who are leaders in your communities, we need you to start a conversation, to get involved with groups who are already making progress, and to bring folks to the table to attack this issue together. We need all stakeholders involved, and we need every resource at our disposal.”
Community leaders, doctors, teachers, non-profit organizations like La Leche League and Best for Babes, moms like you and me. What can we do to help make it easier for mothers to breastfeed? How can we provide support and encouragement? How do we ensure women get the correct information so that they are able to make an educated decision when it comes to how they feed their babies?
I like to think that I am making a difference with my breastfeeding advocacy blog, Blacktating, but I know that is not enough. Did you breastfeed your baby? Where did you find support and information?
I do music because I love music and I have a career and I’m grateful for that. But there’s also (being) a mother,” said Cox, who has lived with her husband/manager and Deco president Lascelles Stephens and their two young children in Miami for the past decade. “I got two kids to raise, now three (soon) and that’s just as important, more important, than just the music thing.~Deborah Cox on being a mother(Source)
Many celebrities and their families came out to musician Akon and actress Holly Robinson Peete’s Children’s Holiday Bowl and Toy Drive benefiting the Children of South L.A.’s youth center ” on December 7, 2008. Akon and Holly Robinson Peete’s “Children’s Holiday Bowl” Charity Event, which was held Lucky Strike Lanes &Lounge in LA, was attended by the children of Garcelle Beauvais(one-year-old twins Jax&Jaid), singer Keisha Spivey-Epps(4-year-old Kmari Mae), musician Akon, and actress Holly robinson Peete(11-year-old Ryan is pictured below)
Check out Holly and Akon’s foundations:Konfidence Foundation;HollyRod Foundation
Picture Source, Getty Image
Even more proof Mariah Carey is pregnant?[Mediaoutrage]
Nicole Richie’s baby is a fashionista[CelebrityBabyScoop]
Bronx Mowgli voted ugliest baby name[Celebs and Bubs]
Dad Stevie wonder is going to be Dancing With The Stars![UrbanHoopla]
Dave Chappelle hangs out with his sons at an arcade[TheYbf]
Legendary rapper turned actor LL cool J says that it’s tough living in a home with all women. Now that his only son has moved away to college, LL Cool J finds that he is fighting a losing battle when it comes to the remote control.
“I’m watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants sitting there needing shock therapy,” explains the star, who is surrounded by women now that his only son is in college. “I feel like moving in the dorm with him!”
LL ,who recently came out with his 13th album called Exit 13, says that he would never warn his kids against pursuing their dreams. LL admits that one of his children may be following in his footsteps to become an artist in the music industry, and another may not be.
“My youngest daughter, Nina — Nina Simone actually — she’s a very talented child,” he says. “We all think our kids are talented but she actually has a little talent, I’m being honest. One of them doesn’t!”
When not promoting his music, his clothing line with Sears or his new movie The Deal, LL Cool J finds time to teach his kids about faith and about believing in themselves.
“This is a good time to practice finding that thing inside you that keeps you looking upward. This is a good time to practice faith actually, just having faith and hope and believe in yourself and us as a country,” he says.
In all, LL Cool j and his wife Simone have daughters Italia Smith(b.1990), Nina Smith(b. 2000), and Samaria Smith(b. 1995) and a son named Najee Smith(1989).
Source:Rachel Ray show
21-month-old Kiyan Anthony,son of Denver Nuggets NBA star Carmelo Anthony and former MTV Veejay Lala Vasquez, cheered on his daddy on December 2, 2008 at recent game starring his daddy, of course!
Erin Bria Wright a.k.a E.B. is the daughter of the late legendary rapper Eric “Eazy-E” Wright. According to Erin’s mom, the 17-year-old is a little too rude and spoiled. Some of you may remember Erin from MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 in 2007. Most recently, Erin was featured in another reality show with MTV called My Super Sweet 16 Presents “Exiled”, which is a spin-off from My Super Sweet 16. According to MTV, Exiled is a show which showcases teens “previously featured on My Super Sweet 16 to live with the indigenous tribes of far away countries for the opportunity to add some perspective to their world view.”
Watch Now(60:00 minutes long) as Erin’s mom gets fed up and sends Erin into Exile!-A must see
It’s another set of twins for actor Coby Bell (Jason Pitts inCW’s The Game) and his wife Avis. The couple welcomed a second set of twins into their home on Dec. 2, Life &Style magazine reports:
Daughter Quinn weighed in at 5 pounds, 12 ounces and was 19 inches long. Son Eli was 6 pounds, 13 ounces and was 19 inches long. They were born one minute apart at California’s Long Beach Memorial Hospital.
Coby and Avis’ first set of twins, daughters Jaena and Serrae, are 5 years old. “We’re not getting any sleep,” Coby tells Life &Style, “but we are extremely happy people.”
News of singer Usher welcoming his second baby were rampant this morning on the web. A source tells BCK that the news of Usher welcoming his second son are indeed true and that “Usher and wife Tameka Foster- Raymond welcomed a healthy baby boy on Wednesday morning.” Congratulations to the couple!
Usher’s second son will join his brother Usher V,1. This will be Usher’s second boy and Tameka’s fifth son. Stay tuned for more details!
*****Updated on 12/11/2008:
According to Usher’s Representative:
“Usher and Tameka Raymond welcomed their second son, Naviyd Ely Raymond, on Wednesday, December 10th, at 2:33 a.m., weighing 5 pounds, 13 ounces,” Usher’s rep said in a statement. “Tameka and the baby are doing fine.”
Congratulations to them again!
Actor, comedian,and former MTV VJ Bill Bellamy, his wife Kristen Baker, and their kids, daughter Bailey,5, and son Baron,2, are featured in this month’s BabyCouture magazine. Check out tons of pictures (10 pages worth!) Click Here Just type in the number “47” at top right hand corner. Don’t forget to click and zoom in on the images!Enjoy!
Don’t mess with busy mom Melanie Brown! The British singer was accompanied by her 20-month-old daughter Angel Iris Murphy Brown as they picked up Melanie’s other daughter, Phoenix Chi, 9, from school in Santa Monica, CA on Tuesday.
Just recently, Essence.com went into the home of Denver Nuggets NBA star Carmelo Anthony and his fiance Alani “LaLa” Vazquez, former MTV veejay and aspiring actress and film and television producer. Lala tells Essence that she and Carmelo are doing everything to “make their house a home” for them and their 21-month old son named Kiyan Carmelo.
“We are doing all we can to make our house a home,” says LaLa. “At the end of the day, when you’re busy, all you have is your family and home to come home to and you want to make it the warmest and most welcoming place it can be.”
Lala says that unlike many of her celebrity friends, she does cook and clean, “I clean my own house. I don’t wait for the maid to come,” she says. “And I cook for my family. It might not be a ten-course meal, but I have my specialties like mac ‘n’ cheese, chicken and my world-famous lasagna.”
Click Here to see pictures of their sprawling estate
Click Hereto see more pictures of Carmelo, Lala, and Kiyan.
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